no and no. both of you.

have a baby.

mick jagger did it, so it must be cool

uh well i don't have any other option unless it dies or something

so yr really pregnant?

have a home-birth. spill it out onto the lemon table

Do one of those things where they like take it out of you and grow it in a tank.

Take up boxing during the 1st trimester.

yr gonna have to stop doing crack and heroin now

I'm eating strawberry peanut butter m&ms right now. Is this considered something strange going on in my lifer?

i know, pity right.
i don't know
i hope not

can they actually do that?
that's kind of disturbing

i pissed on a stick
this is looking like a "no"

all my dreams have come true!

Have it and name it Kinder Elvis. It's the only reason to have children, really.

Edit: Oh. Missed the piss stick thing. Forget it.

what made you think you had a chillen?

no period
giant painful swollen titties
random bouts of vomiting

plus i just had this weird feeling but i guess it was just a fluke, i'm not going to worry about it

maybe the test was wrong.

those 3 things sound like definite signs.

are swollen titties fun? [if they weren't painful]

i don't know, i'll pee on another stick later
no they are not fun, other than the fact that they look good. they're really heavy and hurt really bad and i can't stand for anything to touch them even a little bit unless it's a soft shirt.

i guess that would suck. i think i have sensitive nipples because sometimes when i am running and there is a graphic on the front of my shirt, my nipples get scratched and occasionally bleed. i guess the sweat makes the shirt heavy and salty and the stupid graphics/prints on the tees really rub against my nips when i run/jump for an extended period of time.

so i would imagine you are always topless in yr apt. now? and only thin/soft tees when you are out?

i've been wearing a really old slayer shirt for like 2 days, i keep the A/C too low to go topless

generally these days i don't fuck around with dressing myself well anyway, mostly just old tshirts and jeans. i can't even be arsed to put shoes on unless i have to.


edit:

second stick says NO
YEAHHHH

well, if you're out of ideas, you can still wear this: