Porky, dear, seeing as you're the expert on blowing off queens in public bathrooms, I'll trust you.

hot

When you're as sexy as me, public lavatories only become a place you go to when you need to wash you hands, and pour some water on the remaining toilet paper before you check for stains on your jacket.

Well, here in amerika we only solicite sex acts on busy street corners.

In England you need to find the nearest pub toilet that's close enough to a building site.

I read an essay about Derek Jarman recently, written by an American, in which he described cottaging as a practice amongst Britain's gay community whereby they visit old abandoned cottages in order to have sex.

Well, that's just because Britain's gays are fucked up.

No offense, porky.

Besides, isn't everyone from the UK so posh they're at least a little bit gay?

I hate this assumption that everyone in Britain is well spoken and intelligent

No we're so gay we're all a little bit posh.

Don't mistake me for meaning that, Danny. I know your country's poor dental care leads poor diction and poor speaking.

Ah, thanks for clearing that up for me.

Our country has poor dental care?

Apologies for making references you don't understand.

so i have to submit a recent photo to one of the casting directors for the new miley cyrus movie. help me decide.

the part i'm going for is "16 to early 20's young men that look "cool bad boys"




i decided not to smile since ... i don't know. i guess i'm not a "bad boy"

The second one your eyes are far more glazed over. I vote for that one.

i look kind of stoned don't i?

The flag is a bit of an unnecessary addition. You look more American than anyone has a right to.

lol

i just ended up sending both photos.

I completely take that back. You don't look that American. I mean this bloke looks that American:

i got told i looked aussie when i lived over there