That's right madam sit on the ham.

WOMEN are living in fear of a hairy sex dwarf reported to suck on his unsuspecting victims.

The creature known as a Tokoloshe has apparently been causing havoc in the village Bethanie in Namibia, southern Africa,since early this year.

“The Tokoloshe sexually abused us,” reported Veterika Gawises, a 37-year old mother of six children.

Gawises said that she was shocked by the ordeal and is very afraid as this unexplained phenomenon presents a particular kind of hell for women in the village.

Another woman who reportedly suffered the torment of the breast-sucking tokoloshe refused to speak out of fear.

The husband of Gawises reiterated the claims about the tokoloshe and said: “My wife and some other women complained about the sexually abusive breast-sucking tokoloshe at Bethanie.”

The residents are now hoping to bring in prophets to pray for them as the matter has gotten out of hand, but the fees charged to exorcise the town are exorbitant and beyond the means of the poverty-stricken rural community.

“We plan to bring prophets, one of whom has asked for N$10 000, while another asked for N$2 800 to pray for us,” Gawises said.

An elderly married man at the town is suspected of being behind the sexually abusive tokoloshe.

According to Gawises the man asked them for forgiveness and has said that “the thing is not meant to harm you, but was sent to someone else.”

The existence of this mythical creature can not be verified and to date no proof exists to verify the veracity of the reports from the village of Bethanie.

That Bruce gig was the single greatest gig I've ever been too. Mind-blown.

Fantastic! I got an audio of last month's Wembley concert and he sounded amazing. Goosebumps just listening to it. I can only imagine what being there must've been like.

WE ARE ALWAYS TOLD NOT TO PLAY WITH FIRE BUT IT IS SO FUCKING FUN!

Dude, I thought Jerry Bear was going to Magically appear!!




Speaking of something completely irrelevant.. last night was like the lightning apocalypse over LA last night. A blast so powerful it shook my house for several seconds like an earthquake.. The flash was so bright it entered into my dream, and woke me up thinking there was like a damned plane crash outside! Actually, I feel asleep watching a documentary on the development of the hydrogen bomb, so eerily, when the flash entered into my dream and then I was awakened by the boom and rumbling, I for a split second honestly had a primal fear that it was a fucking nuclear explosion... shit was wild. caused a power surge and the thunderstorm lasted for over an hour with more loud, powerful thunder with blinding lightning flashes.. It was some Texas shit yo!

awesome and scary!

You live in Texas, should be used to it. In fact by Texax standards, it was just a squall.. ;)

I am used to it. I slept through a hurricane 3 years ago....

I love thunderstorms. rolling thunder makes me feel alive! Like the heavens are having an Unsane concert...

That is true. We sleep through earthquakes here in LA, in fact, we can determine the richter scale reading from bed without even getting up, and then check it in the morning news to see if we were accurate like checking last night's sports' scores. The last small shaker that woke me up was a 3.9, and I guessed 4.0 in between rolling over ;)

I remember being around 5 years old and waking up from a nap during an earthquake in Puerto Rico. That shit was crazy

Well, it is pretty crazy because you never know when it starts if it is going to be one of the 4.0 don't get out of bed or 6.0 knock you fuck out of bed kind of earthquakes, and it is a fraction of a second that determines the difference.. My biggest fear as a teacher is how all of our students have never experienced a real earthquake, they don't take the drills as serious as I did when I was a kid in school, but I grew up through three devastating, fatal earthquakes in LA area which shaped our consciousness. Kids today only have small shakers as a frame of reference, they literally can't imagine what a big earthquake even feels like, let alone why it can be frightening.

By the way, what the fuck is THIS SHIT ad on SBNation.com??



I mean, incontinence is no joking matter, but really, honestly, I couldn't stop snickering like I was in the fif grade!!

Once the harshness has died down we will all swim like tadpoles, waiting for our metamorphosis into the frogs of our dreams.

When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams, will be, destroyed..

My wife and I along with our daughters and my in-laws made our way to the Houston Hobby Center earlier today to see a performance of, Wicked



Before the show we enjoyed lunch at Spaghetti Warehouse.

White Castle last night was the worst idea.

dude, when is white castle ever a good idea? ha ha ha ha