you make prefect sense and thank you once again.

its just that. i cannot separate the 2. i dont think i ever could, and now its even more difficult. i must try.
perhaps the flow thing might work that way more.
when performance starts to get bad - in the beginnings it goes well- 'flow' gets interrupted, i think.
and i have elements that dont help, moreover when you are selftaught; im inpatient and if i am honest, i expect results with no so much work..
was thinking that perhaps i need some help - dont mean skrink but yeah!
someone to show me some things, get some lessons. dunno.
and its the other thing; if i had/got a job i liked a bit, i wouldnt feel that anxiety, that i wont ever get good in painting and make excuses about not wanting to go back to day job. although i know, it might make me more active because i m in a hole of non action (gym for example).

last, but not least, what gets to me isnt yet that i wont be successful/famous etc, although..it somehow has entered the equation, its that i dont get to paint the way i want. i cant even do the things people from art school do, even if its not what i want to do.
if that makes sense.



yes, you always need it to be an experiment, you need to have higher or different goals.



to conclude everything is on the mind.
i mean skills are a limitation, but mind sets further limitations.
so i remembered about this - Genteel Death linked me once.
http://www.libertyeyeschool.com/ap2d...ubpage=1655939

thats how i feel, perhaps for different reasons.
i have consturcted a whole view on life based on painting. what matters and what does not.

i think that no matter what happens you have to be kind to yourself. not "if i do well i'll love myself and if i fuck up i'll hate myself". you have to be unconditionally your friend. it's like being able to say: "my mother will always love me." (some people don't have a mother like that, but there is always someone to model that from. ) if you can do that--- life gets a lot less stressful.


yes-- flow needs a balance between challenge and ability. too easy and you get bored, too hard and you get overwhelmed. but knowing what state to pursue (rather than an "end product") could be an interesting approach. i'm not guaranteeing "great results"-- it's just a suggesting for experimentation.


i am self taught w/ most things so i look at youtbe and instructables and how-to books a lot ha ha--- just look at the "what are you reading" thread and i'm always reading some fucking manual. but i am able to keep from flogging myself when things don't work out, so that allows me to be patient and start again when i fuck up until i get it (i didn't use to be that way).

in this way failures become opportunities to learn-- i destroyed a good knife butchering a mutton the other day but i never thought of giving up the butchering and after some mental refresh i started again and found sweet victory. sure, in part i had a solemn duty to cut that meat because i cannot kill an animal just to throw his body away, so i couldn't give it up. but it could have been a tearful experience-- it wasn't. just some regrets for the knife and many technical headaches and a bit of back pain and fatigue. but it was very rewarding in the end, insurmountable obstacles and all (shards of metal in the meat).

if you mentally punish yourself for not being perfect, then working to get good can be really hard, if not impossible. this is where kidness to self comes handy (well it has many benefits but that is definitely one).


i wish i knew where to direct you with that but painting is not my expertise. but about mental states-- read some taoism maybe? could be fun.


i think i don't understand this. what's your work situation right now?


yes. but to do something well it takes a lot of practice. practice takes a lot of patience. patience takes a lot of love. love takes selflessness.

the thing with art school-- there are different kinds of art schools. there's the beaux-arts schools and there are others that take different approach. seems to me the kind you're lookig at has a more beaux-arts approach-- you know, with models, etc. whereas other schools start with concepts and how you implement that is multidisciplinary.

many good artists are self-taught. probably most are. i would write a long rant about this but i am hungry and running out of steam so let me just say-- what about color? if color is your nature-- why not just start from color instead of shape? oh i am hungry now and lightheaded--- probably from last night's drinks. but think about this maybe-- to play to your strengths instead of trying to be well-rounded? i'd list you many examples but maybe later in the day. maybe i'll make a bloody mary and fry some meat ha ha ha. i have a leg of mutton to cook and it will be some work. i'm excited/puzzled. but yes please think about playing to your strengths. more later.

^ i ll read/reply tomorrow!


thank you; need to look this up.
im very lazy

 

 

here's another smth just for you to see before it hits garbage can and/or i mean i m starting again..other one. thats on paper.
if only i hadnt fucked up her mouth/ear with the paint.

edit used not to believe in laziness. that it doesnt exist. its other things behind it. cant elaborate now.

i ll reply to couple of things.
my work situation is the same; we have elections now and after that, i ll start waiting for when i get notice about the job. unless the whole things blows -after the elections.

reading manuals is probably my worst thing to do..so i dont do it.
but yeah
'in this way failures become opportunities to learn-- i destroyed'
that has been one of my major battles; not caring if the outcome will be bad and if i have destroyed canvases and wasted colours.

' what about color? if color is your nature-- why not just start from color instead of shape?'
these days i figured i must do the opposite: do good drawing and paint as if i m drawing. what i have been caring the most and having difficulties with, are my strokes and the way i use the material (acrylics, oil). need to keep them in light textures, because the shit start to happen when the color is more solid.


Plips
you are so right about the ears especially and surely makes sense what you did with photoshop...but thats the pic i m working with..and i have taken good measures these times.
probably its the ankle the pic is taken and then i need to figure out the light/shadow to make this work as it is.

 

thank you both. :)


ah and smth nice i should share, is that the model of this, told me last night some dang thing about a painter
who apparently is very good and important - didnt ask a lot, he didnt tell me his name
saw this and said many nice (or other) things about some of my works.
again i didnt ask details.
we might go and meet him - he is at the national gallery.

 

@ nefeli - had a busy day and now too tired to respond but ACRYLIC PAPER. cheapest surface to practice on. here i can buy it at the supermarket:

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Canson-XL-...heets/34202966

oh im all over the place now

that one w/ the model looks great! i have seen sketches of that same, this works great.

@ plips - that photoshop magic is cool w/ the shape!! while less realistic i prefer nefeli's intense colors for expression though.

*deep heavy sigh* should've guessed you went on there. 8 hours! 8 hours q&a?! I mean really?

i've been trying to guess what this is about

first i thought some anime artist died

now i was wondering if this was about football transfers ha ha

come on, someone tell

===

ETA: NEVER MIND! i i googled the word on the shirt and all became clear.

Ha yeah it's the wonderful world of 4chan.

yeah im lissening to his youtube now haha

it's boring lol

okay i heard enough

not to discount his contributions to western civilization or anything

Yeah I was the same after 20 minutes. He decided 8 hours was just enough for some reason.

24,000 people! 1.2 seconds to each person.

ha ha ha, finally your pic loaded (i saw a question mark for the longest time)

this is very good

I miss this place.

here's a track for all ya'll asses.

http://youtu.be/duHl8uMBB8k

GO PATS

i'm here. waiting for my friend to pick me up so we can drive home. daytona hoooo.

i find it really hilarious that page 3 of the posts here go back to october. it really is the same thread. that this thread prevails is maybe my favorite thing on the internet, other than that he-man what's going on thing.

oh god i gotta find huskers on a plane

and here you go

www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=14841