Start maybe here:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Func...mathematics%29

the functions and stuff i'm generally getting. it'd help if i didn't having a raging sinus infection, too.

Boom! Managed to boulder a v5 that's been nagging me for the last coupla weeks, Everton win 3-2 after going 2-0 down AND I've managed to sort out a date with a lass I've been chatting too for a while.

Hope for the best; expect the worst and all that though. Meaning I'll break my leg bouldering, Everton will suddenly become injury stricken and go on the worst run in years, and the date pulls out.

mah dog and mah cat. and me.

i got a raise. 8.75 an hour. pfff.

i hate cats

whoa! i didn't know you were an orgy guy... but good job!


only because you haven't met the right cat yet

this is adult onset schizophrenia. the symptoms are mild but sound like they are increasing.

you are probably have some big deficiencies in your diet so first of all i recommend strong daily multivitamins and minerals. then sobriety and cutting out drugs and alcohol is the next step.

the only step after that is to go to the doctors. instantly they will pounce on you and start prescribing SSRI's which as an american you will have to pay for bigtime. before you through your money and potentially your brain away on this crap do some proper googling about the history, side effects and (Faked) research methods that went into these drugs. then understand that their reps bribe doctors all the time (video footage of them admitting is is easy to find). then understand that ANY bad effects that occur when you are on these drugs will be blamed on alcohol/street drugs that you have taken or may still be taking. then maybe come visit my psychotic brain damaged friends before they die or go back to jail and ask me how much of a contributing factor i think their constant intake of SSRI's are.

consider also that you will be labelled a nutcase and the state will have serious ammo against you, especially since you have a daughter this is something to think about.

consider also the idea of telling other people IRL about these symptoms to share your pain and fight the stigma is the most dangerously stupid thing you could ever do.

then consider that you just have a neurological configuration that is different from the majority of people and that there's nothing to worry about and nothing you can do provided you are able to not potentially exacerbate it with narcotics. also remember that you will be punished the most viciously and severely by others for your behaviour in times of stress due to the fact that your brain is wired different from theirs and they don't like that.

Hey, its not that you made bad points, and in many cases i agree with a Jungian approach to schizophrenia, but sometimes its worse than just "a neurological configuration that is different from the majority of people and that there's nothing to worry about"

schizophrenia is to neurological configurations what a conjoined twin is to birthmarks

i dont mean it like that at all.

i mean his neurological hardware is functioning in a way that happens to a large number of people but not the majority. and since we are nasty fascist apes we take any opportunity to viciously pathologize, separate and lock up people who often are not a threat to us or themselves, but are just disturbing our fascistic sense of what "sanity" is.

worrying about it is futile.

in fact worrying about it is what all the legions of scammers, dealers (that includes the psych establishment) and advice givers want you to do.

fuck 'em all.

No. There are some people who have a very disabling disease and literally need pharmaceuticals. Indeed a good friend of mine is schizophrenic and he was actually one of the first people to convince me that some people just need it. It is what it is...

yeah, i had a problem with a lot of folks in NA who would try to convince people that they shouldn't be taking ssris/any medication because it's a 'drug'... so much bullshit in that theory that i don't even want to begin.

he's a psychologist so no medicine yet but found an adult adhd specialist and oh my god just talking to the guy twice has helped a ton to realize like, what a ball of tension/symptoms i am. he's a three buses/45 mintue walk (or 30 minute drive) but holy shit for $40 a session.

my ex (the one i moved to miami) for was found dead the day before his birthday a few days ago and that's just been fucking weird/surreal to handle.

that IS fucking hard to handle.

wow, those are shocking news. and i may be selfish but i have to say-- i sure am happy it wasn't you who was found dead there. so glad you got out.

also stoked to hear you've found a good therapist. a good therapist is a blessing and way better than 1000 priests.

whatever happens... keep punching.

he's an absolute awesome therapist. kind of a kooky old guy who seems to be sorta add himself; he actually listens and it's awesome.

it's kinda surreal about the ex. i mostly feel horrible for his sister more than anything.

I'd see my old therapist in a heartbeat...though I don't have health insurance atm....

oh my fucking god are you serious??? alex is dead?

hello you guys, i finished my studies THIS PAST TUESDAY and i am doing something else from monday on. high fives for everyone!

congrats!!