"You know, all black people are afraid of dogs."

(then why do so many black people own dogs as pets you fucking idiot?)

Two young dudes in Walgreens discussing what matters most in life:

"...bitches, money, and family."

A girl came back from a church retreat a total jesus freak:

"When we got there, they told us we were stones. But after two days we all become roses!"

Another guy who went to that same church retreat:

"Dude, thank god I had good weed with me."

that there are heaps more gay people now that there were, say, 50 years ago..My dad sprouted that one.

Once I was walking down the street and some dude leaned out of a van window and shouted to a girl in front of me, "Yo gurl, come ta my show on sunday, I'LL PUT YOU IN MY VIDEO!!!!"

I guess he had a show and a subsequent video shoot. Maybe he was someone very important and I just didn't notice. I'm not sure how this girl was supposed to know where to go to be in this video, but the whole thing was kinda funny, she looked pretty confused...

"How do you make this?" said by one of my classmates, reffering to a project that my teacher had just explained how to do 40 minutes prior.

My substitute health teacher explaining drug overdose:

"The Doors, Jim Morrison, he died of an overdose. You know the Doors? Rock 'n' roll, from my era...Kort Corbain, he did drugs...or did he kill himself? Janis Joplin, OD'd. My era..."

This guy also says "prostrate" instead of prostate, and has used the phrase "flushed white" when referring to his face.

A few years back I overheard a woman calling her daughter to leave the Barbie's alone and help her carry a microwave to her cart.

Cool right?

Yeah, to bad she referred to her daughter as "placenta."

I heard:
"Placenta dear, leave those Barbie's alone and help me with this dang microwave."

a 40 year old woman who had never heard of the beatles. 'who are they, is that? is that blur'?