That's serious fucked up!!! i feel sorry for her.

The only time ive ever thought about killing myself, is just to find out what is beyond life. Its somethin everyone wants to know, but is something that we have to wait to find out. As for being genuinely depressed and suicidal, i cant say i have. Ive had my share of problems and family issues, and a fucked childhood, but never contemplated actully ending it all. Ther is always a way to resolve a problem. But, as originally said in the first post, ive done things that i think make things so much worse. I do things that are bad, and that i regret, and im self concious and paranoid about the way i act. When i realise to myself that im much different from my peer group, it makes me feel odd, outcasted and mentally akward. I know im a strange person, socially and mentally...and im kinda fine with that....ive been described as Too deep inside my own self.

i do this quite alot, on my arms and knees. it does seem strange but it really helps, its like releaving all the pain, like taking a huge breath out. i wish i didn't do it. but its really hard to stop.

Once I called a guy I know, on the spur of the moment, because I was in such a good mood*. I was all "Dude isn't life great? Maaaan just listen to the hiss of the city. While the world is sleeping! It's great!". Yeah, it was like midnight.

It turns out that he was contemplating suicide that very night, and he listened to the city hiss and saw the world sleeping. And it made him feel so much better. Once you appreciate little things more the world starts to get great.

Just enjoy life, man. I know I'm preaching to the converted, but the world is a great place. It's a shitty place when it wants to be, but when you find your escape it's alright. Suicide isn't escape, by the way.

*I got a high five from a girl with the same name as a baby deer. She's way cool.

"I wanna kill my self"
This is usually uttered by people who dont get outside very much. When ever i feel bummed, i just put on my headphones and go for a walk. But reading these forums can get depressing

yes, I was talking about suicide. I've been thinking about it a lot for the last week, but now I'm sure it's really not an option. And if yes, it's a very very fucking selfish one.

you know, my mom died a month ago, my father has been left on himself, he really needs me right now. so does my brother and rest of the family.

my girlfriend left me last week, but I know she's got feelings for me and that I'm still the most important person in her life. Doing something like that would definitely drive her nuts completely.

and i got friends, people to care about. you can't just leave them all like that. I don't know what can take you to the point, that you really do that.

It's not worth it.

Stay strong bro.

I agree.It's almost become the norm for some people.I have had 2 boyfriends who who would self harm regularly when i first met them.I pretty much made them stop both.It was either that or me.You gotta set your foot down with things like that.

nope.

maybe sometimes, but not for too long. It eventually goes away. Or my attention wanders elsewhere...

oh, God, when I created this thread, those were the worst months in my life so far ... my mom had died a few weeks before, I got fired from my previous job and things with my previous girlfriend were slowly going to hell, which eventually resulted in our breakup a few weeks afterwards. God, those were really depressive times.
My life's taken a 180 degree turn since then, which I'm glad for.

Sorry about your mom slavo... even though it was a while ago now. (and if bumping this made you feel anything negative..)

But.. it's wonderful that things have turned around for you now. You certainly haven't seemed to be remotely unhappy :P

no no, no bad memories came up by seeing this thread again. no worries.

how can a man be unhappy when the phoenix remote island photoshoot is still due? :D

My, have I changed since that post on this thread too.

feeling of being not being clean? no.

a shag doesn't do the trick anymore?

Nothing will do. It's for the best.

This thread makes me think of a friend I had that died* in a car wreck.
When we were younger like 14-15, he was one of the wittiest, spontaneous most extraverted people I knew. He always made everyone around him laugh, but not in the annoying way of always talking, just simple,subtle comments would have the whole crew hysterical.

Slowly he started to not care about anything, and I mean NOTHING. He literally didn't think about anyone, nobody. Nobody really understood what his deal was and just figured he was being some teenage asshole. When we were 17-18, he walked up to this huge kid that was in school with us and started to punch him in the face. Huge guy was startled to say the least (nobody ever fucked with this kid) and gave my friend one of the worst beatings I've ever witnessed. But my friend just didnt give a shit about any of it, he didnt care about his family, women, his friends, music, art,money.... nothing.

His personality changed a lot. He wasn't fun to be around, he wasn't even intolerable, just kinda a downer. He never really said much during this time and we were all waiting for him to snap out of everything.

He quit going to school, got kicked out of his house, and wound up living out of this old beat up car he had bought when he was younger. This rusty shitbox hardly ever worked but he managed. He died in that car, he wrecked it going too fast arounf a turn on a country road. Towards the end of his life he was a total asshole, he would just be mean to everyone, he didnt care about manners, code of friends, family, money, girls, books, music, nothing...he just didn't give a fuck. He looked like shit last time I saw him, not sick or strung out, just fucking dirty.

Til this day nobody knew what the fuck was going on in this dudes head, not his parents (who were always really cool to all of us), his ex girlfriends, nobody. None of the dealers knew of him so I doubt it was any sort of serious drug problem. I loved this kid when I was younger and its fucking sad to see somebody just give up or give in.

RIP Cole Lentzer

no wai man, there's pepto-bismol for that!

--

ha ha, holy shit, OLD thread!

good news slavo, you no longer work for the old prickster.

Sounds like he gave up on life. A long road to suicide.

It crossed my mind once- ending it all- but I snapped out of it. My mom would miss me, and it would hurt me too much to hurt her like that

after lengthy discussion, it was concluded yesterday, by my Universal Guru and myself, that the affinity of carbon monoxide molocules to hemoglobin is a clear sign that Gawd encouraged "death by automobile exhaust" long before there were even cars. note: this makes hybrid/CNG cars borderline heresy.

all of this was brought up as an example of "well thought-out death" vs. the Heaven's Gate mass suicide, which was obviously VERY POORLY planned.

I mean, really...how many of those bastards never survived the trip on the comet without spacesuits? purple fucking Nikes will not save you from violent decompression, you idiots.

fuck comets. when the time comes, I'm doin' it Gawd's Way.