Two things I love more than most other things:

Bikes and guitars

Two things I absolutely detest shopping for due to the insufferable individuals who tend to work at or patronize the establishments which sell or repair the items and periphery associated with their chosen area of commerce:

Bikes and guitars

When I left I was thinking maybe I should've complained, or at least punched the assistant. Had he done it to me (which I'm confident wouldn't happen given that I'm a bloke) I'm sure I would've gone mental.

And it's not just the assistants that work in these places that are a nuisance. Lets face it, a good 80% of the customers are just a bunch of trust-fund fretboard gymnasts who seem set on playing the same Malmsteen runs as fast as they can through a Mesa/Boogie. Whichever way you cut it, guitar shops really are the pits.

I like the guitar shop near me, this dude plays bad ass punk uke.

I think keeping in mind what total dicks most of the customers are is the way to get past it. Who cares what the Satriani wannabes think. And they're too busy trying to think of ways to sound better to realize anyone else exists. The worst you could do is play a terrible riff at high volume and get an equal amount eye-raises and semi-amused smiles, and even that's not too likely. Meh, just have fun.

I'm just into perfecting this whole tremelo picking thing. Made my day that has. Can't wait to walk into Soundcontrol in full facepaint, plug in and rip through some Darkthrone. I might even have to show some devil horns and stick my foot on a moniter.

I didn't know it had a name, but I actually figured out how to do that trying to play Miserlou a few years ago. I taught my friend to do it, too, and he doesn't even play guitar. It's really not a "trick", though, it's just a technique that you eventually learn through practice, like anything else on guitar.

The customers annoy me a lot. Once, I was buying an acoustic guitar, and this guy was trying out a Gibson Les Paul with a large amplifier. He wasn't really trying out the amp, he was just showing everyone in the store how good he was with his note perfect renditions of classic rock songs. It was so loud, and he just kept playing Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, The Eagles, Deep Purple etc.

who gives a fuck about them? just play yr guitar dude, jesus! the only thing to worry about at the guitar shop is all those lame asses who work there. Dont go early in the day, they will fucking bumrush you! hide from them if possible, they will only get in the way of yr shopping experience! and when you really do have a technical question about the guitar/amp you are looking at, these assholes have literally no idea!

 

Went to a guitar shop today, they were having some kind of band play outside, everyone was standing around kissing the band's ass, I walked in, picked up the Masic Jazz, had a few plays, put it back, walked out. I spoke to noone, noone spoke to me. It was bliss.

Call me a misanthrope...well, I am, so fuck it...every cunt that works in Denmark Street deserves to be disembowelled and thrown to a pack of hungry giraffes. (PS Jack White is on TV now, and HE can join the Denmark St crowd too...fat cunt!).

why would you waste your time disemboweling the fucking sods? let the giraffes do the work. if you got a large enough catapult you could throw them all out simultaneously. think efficently!

Cantanky, I love ya - always five steps ahead of me!

Yeah, giraffes. Why didn't I think of that?

we would make the best tag team of all time.

0-3-5-0-3-6-5-0-3-5-3-0

Cantanky - Yep, you punching out the oppostion, and me trying to find my glasses, cigarettes etc. I like it!

oh silly. if you'd just keep your glasses on and your cigarettes in your pocket you'd be punching them alongside me!

0---3--3-5-5--7-8-7-8-7--8--3-3-5.

Yer right, of course. You will wear your devil horns whilst we're kicking ass, yeah?

absolutely

now let's go down to glasto and open up a can of whoop ass on those sorry pricks.