a few months ago i was at a house party, before i left home i hada few shots of jameson. then at the party i drank, 2-3 beers, a half cup of arak, a few shots of rum and two glasses of red wine. all was fine until on my way home i decided that the thing i need most is some ice cream. lucky for me i positioned a bucket next to my floor, so i didnt make a mess as i puked all night

Tried to walk home after drinking god knows how much. Blacked out on the way back, thought someone else's home was my own, ended up in their garage, then jail.

driving.

This is the best one yet! (Sorry you had to spend a night in jail).

total 5 cars

no wait--

post on the internet

yes

Walking into a tree - bang goes the Melly nose.
Giving an ex a French kiss (for no reason), and then having a huge argument w/her about it -oops.
Attempting to start fights (when I was going through a particularly bad time).

cleaning the cat box

im about to fucking vomit

you can't even handle cleaning the litter box out? pussssyyyyyyyy.

cackbrain i mean DRUNK you cack

fuck you

00

itwas in foul shape fuck

you make no sense.

the litter box should be cleaned out daily to avoid situations like this. and even drunk it shouldn't cause a problem.

go to bed, you drunk.

and oh, by the way, fuck you too.

fucjwad mrs. usually cleans but she has been injured and so it was my chore & i am not good with that shit so it hit critical mass

now the shit smell is stuck in my nose and im fucking oozing snot

the vomit is kinda deciding what to do

go throw up and then go to bed. you'll feel better.
cleaning the catbox isn't such a big deal, here's what you do:

take the little shovel and sift through the litter, like using a sieve
whatever little chunks of cat piss/feces end up in the little shovel, put them into a plastic grocery bag and then dispose of it and WASH YOUR HANDS

it shouldn't smell either... if the cat is covering it up properly.

Falling face first into concrete steps.

i know how to clean the shit but it was out of hand cuz i neglected extra while mrs. was doped up on painkillers

the price of hard fucking

fuck i am buyinga selfclean tomorrow, this shit is foul, the obx old too, is fucked

the self cleaning ones work none too well

don't neglect your duties! i'm not your mommy, i shouldn't have to tell you that!

fuck you bitch, being a single parent is a tough business

work clean cook shop tend to the ill wif no help

getsoyt of hand

i'm sick and i have FOUR ANIMALS (ie children) and i can still perform my duties. with one hand tied behind my back. men are just stupid.

!@#$%! - GO TO BED, NOW! Don't make me come upstairs and take your modem away!
*goes to the loo*
Oh God, the mess, the *gags*...right, that's it mister, you are GROUNDED for a month!

once again.


men are stupid, filthy pigs.

\\get a job and well see you do all pschhhhhhhh
ok yes i hate cleaning fuck i ned a maid