Ah. Chavs don't exist in Liverpool. We have scallies- their lingo is less lamentable, occasionally and unintentionally hilarious, i.e. they've made casual use of unusually verbose words as 'blatant' and 'suave', and made up bewildering adjectives such as 'parcelled', 'webbed', and 'mashed', all of which have nothing to do with parcels, webs, and mashed potatoes.

My sister, who I'm convinced is the model for all chavs, developed this incredibly punch-worthy habit of replying to everything she was told with a high pitched "Is it?"

Me: "I'm going out"
Her: "Is it?"

How fucked up is that? Well fucked up!

Oh my God! I used to know someone who does exactly the same thing! It wouldn't make sense! It would always surprise me when he did it, I'd always have to pause before answering through confusion over what he meant.

Again, a strictly southern occurrence.

I don't know if they say this in Liverpool, but Sophie Webster in Coronation Street has this amazing way of saying 'pov' when she means poor. That cracks me up everytime I hear it.

Oh yes. As in 'poverty'.

I was just about to say that "mashed" has travelled down south too when I realised that all the people I've heard use it were northerners. "mashed" as in mashed on pills?

What is the American variant of this?

I can't be bothered?

I suppose, but I can't be bothered is acceptable here too.

Yeah, sometimes it means you've been battered, as well.


Yeah. I love how we've actually started abbreviating this phrase into "be arsed" or "C.B.A.".

Oh right, that reminds me, I remember a Londoner talking about having his face mashed by people.

I CBA 2 rite CBA.

Yeah, 'mashed' seems pretty nationwide.

You hear some older blokes in london saying something's given them 'the right arse'ole' if they're annoyed.

I got in trouble in America for saying "Jap" once. That was a bit weird.

Yeah I thought "Jap" was bad. I know someone who calls the Chinese takeaway "the Chinky" but "not in a racist way".

That one's new to me.

The funniest story I ever heard like that was someone I know who went to one of those official meetings at football clubs where season ticket holders get to meet the board of directors. It was for West Ham and they were talking about the club potentially being bought out by an Asian consortium. To which he stood up, perfectly innocently, but with a definite concern, and asked "are we talking noodles or bhajis?"

Hahaha, that's almost like something from some bad comedy.

I say "Is it?" all the time. That's well standard.

Brutal diss, gets me? I reckon a bit of vernacular is well alright. Beans.

I though it was hilarious when SuchFriends couldn't understand your "patois" in one thread. I think it was you anyway.

There's a mate of mine who'll quite happily say 'd'you want anything from the slitty?' as in 'slitty-eyed' as in 'Chinese' takeaway. Unfortunately, I laugh too much every time to discourage him. He's not C18 or 'owt, but he is massively inappropriate like that.