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-   -   Have you ever cheated on a significant other? (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=38178)

alteredcourse 02.18.2010 04:35 PM

Hey, sure it is pretty much normal! And so, I dont beat myself up about it. But I do think it's important for me to remember it, all the feelings and the regret of hurting another person, so that it doesnt happen again.

People do have the tendency of forgetting such things and acting like theyre 17 with other peoples feelings etc when they are much older and should know better.

Derek 02.18.2010 04:44 PM

I would feel too guilty if I cheated on my girlfriend. Besides, I'm happy in nearly every way with who I'm with so why mess around with someone and screw up something that's special?

Dr. Eugene Felikson 02.18.2010 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix
Is that why it is even more appealing?

Would you break up with your girlfriend if that was the only way you could get to have sex with this girl?
If yes, then break up with her and frolic naked with said new girl.
If no, then keep it in yr pants.



I think the most appealing part is that I haven't seen "said new girl" in years. I grew up, pretty much, obsessed with her. She was my best friend, and my not-so-secret crush rolled up into one. But she didn't want to damage the friendship, and I'm sure the fact that I was just a chubby (that's putting it lightly) nerd with no fashion sense or alpha male qualities didn't help much either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix
Or discuss it with yr girlfriend? Perhaps she might want to see(fuck) other people also. Honesty.



Hell no. I'm not willing to deal with that rage for nothin'. Call me a chicken shit, but I don't feel the need to do the time without committing the crime. Plus, I'd feel terrible knowing she wanted the same thing, or has cheated on me already. It's hypocritical, but despite my temptation...I do still love her. Maybe that's my answer.


Quote:

Originally Posted by chicka
how's that saying go, oh yeah Men are pigs and proud of it. Yes I cheated on a couple of gf. I cheated twice on my ex-wife one of them being a roughly three month affair. Did I feel guilty? Absolutely. Did I get over it? Absolutely. Did it hurt my marriage nope. She divorced me 10 years after the fact over drugs not a cheatin' heart. Did she cheat on me? I don't think so but hey you never know what goes on in a woman's heart or mind.
Other than if something better comes along they won't hesitate to go for it.



This is pretty much what I was thinking. I know that very early on in the relationship, she let a girl finger her and came to me crying about it a week later. Feeling terrible.

Another time (when we lived in our apartment together) her phone had broken, and I let her borrow mine while I was at work. Upon arriving home, I noticed messages sent to a guy (who I only sorta knew) in my outbox, but all the replies had been deleted from the inbox.

I confronted her about it, and she explained that she didn't want me getting jealous and thinking anything was up. So she tried to delete all the messages, and just forgot about the outbox. Now, I would think that if she didn't want to raise any red flags, she would've just left all of the messages alone.

Weeks later, I find out he has a crush on her, and sometimes gets "weird" when drunk at parties we're all at. Even later, I find out that she had a thing for him when we broke up for 3 months last year. She accidentally let both details slip, the latter being something along the lines of "I can't believe I used to like him".

So I dunno, maybe I truly owe myself a treat. Maybe I'm just a jealous prick. Maybe I should stop posting so much personal shit on SYG.

Derek 02.18.2010 05:20 PM

Just... listen to some KoRn or watch a horror movie. Only then will you find the answer you are looking for.

Dr. Eugene Felikson 02.18.2010 05:28 PM

That I have 2 hands for a reason and teh womenz are evil?

Derek 02.18.2010 05:42 PM

Well if Jonathan Davis would do it then it's okay to do it!

Also, I don't normally do this but this girl my girlfriend knows is obsessed with Korn and it's really funny.

Check this out:
"Jonathan Houseman Davis;He's my hero, my heart & my soul. I've always loved this man. To me, he is God. His music gets me through every second of everyday. His music has shown me that i can get through bad times & shit could be sooo much worse than it is. Alot of the lyrics he sings, i've always related to & always will. Honestly, i know Jonathan would understand me completely which makes him even more special to me. I would do anything for him. I met him & it was the greatest day of my life & nothing will ever top it. Meeting him has completed my life, i feel that it's completed it because nothing will ever make me feel that good ever again or that happy, so to me he's accomplished something only he can do & noone else. He is truely, the only human being who has completely changed my life & how i feel. He's done so much for me & i hope one day i could make it up to him. Jonathan Davis; you are my world & i would happily destroy everything i own & push everyone out of my life; just for you. That's how much i love you. ♥ I could have never lived if it wasn't for you...♫"

Dr. Eugene Felikson 02.18.2010 05:48 PM

Haha, you're right. That IS funny. I especially enjoy the music note at the end. It's a nice touch.

ni'k 02.18.2010 05:56 PM

"these little girls they make me feel so exhilerated, i fill them up i can't get enough, the pain, i'm just erasing.
why do i have a conscience all it does is fuck with me, why do i have this torment all i wanna do is fuck it away.
"

ni'k 02.18.2010 06:01 PM

credit were credit is due, i remember a korn article were the writer talks about seeing jon backstage in their heyday and watching 14 year old girls come up to him and go crazy and try to fuck him, but he just laughed it off and told them he would tell their moms what they said.

altho maybe this was just because the interviewer was watching.

Dr. Eugene Felikson 02.18.2010 06:14 PM

From what I've seen in videos. He's never seemed to have the whole slimy rock star attitude. So I doubt it had little to do with the interviewer being there.

Little girls just don't seem his type, especially with the whole mollested as a kid thing he has going for him. I mean he's married to porn star Deven Davis now for Christ's sake.



 




 




 




 


In speaking of cheating, I guess he only allows her to do girl on girl scenes now. Which is still cheating to me, but a girl's gotta work I guess.

ni'k 02.18.2010 06:29 PM

you can't really fuck with korn, they might be embarrassing and the kind of thing you totally disavow after a certain age... but really if you go back to it, they dug into a particularily dark corner, were noone else could touch them. it must have taken a particular brand of both real stupidity and utter genius to do what they did

i once read a really excellent thesis someone had posted online, were he talked about the difference between nirvana and korn and manson, he analysed the lyrics in depth and had some really fantastic takes on it. he claimed that korn and manson were completly subsumed inside post modernism in a way that cobain wasn't, cobain still had the activist and punk tendencies albeit in a confused way, whereas korn and manson existed at the point in the 90's post berlin wall and pre 9/11 when it seemed like it really would be post modern capitalism forever. i'm maybe explaining it badly but it was a great peice, would love to find it again.

a kid a bit younger than me recently told me korn is emo, and black flag are aswell. those bands would never have been called that a few years back but i guess it makes sense and they are being coopted into that historical narrative. what comes after emo though? i don't really pay attention to that side of mainstream alternative music anymore but the last i checked there seems to be some sort of emo meets 80's metal pomp and power (in the fashions anyway), a kind of aggressive emo that isn't hardcore. anybody know?

Pax Americana 02.18.2010 06:59 PM

Never cheated on a significant other. Hope I never do. I think I'd feel beyond guilty if I did that to someone I cared for, and I've seen infidelity break up some relationships my friends and family have been in. It's never a good situation. Feelings are always crushed, and it's hard as hell to revive a relationship after one party has cheated.

Sonic Youth 37 02.18.2010 08:17 PM

Cheated? I don't think so, but there's been many a transgression within a relationship gray area. Exclusivity is something I grapple with.

phoenix 02.20.2010 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Eugene Felikson
teh womenz are evil?

Sexy is not a crime.

nicfit 02.20.2010 08:11 AM

No.
But I must admit it's quite an easy thing, nowadays, being single and all.

Genteel Death 02.20.2010 08:50 AM

Nah.

jon boy 02.20.2010 12:09 PM

nope, i can imagine that it would ruin the relationship if you did. things would never be the same after that.

alteredcourse 02.20.2010 01:00 PM

Ni'k, if you ever found that thesis again, you've gotta post it here.

atsonicpark 02.20.2010 01:17 PM

Got!
The!
Life!

Glice 02.20.2010 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alteredcourse
Ni'k, if you ever found that thesis again, you've gotta post it here.


http://www.friendbear.com/~davidlloy...onclusion.html ?

Not sure if it's the same one, but sounds similar.


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