Sonic Youth Gossip - Dumb Conspiracy Theories

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- - Dumb Conspiracy Theories (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=6315)

If they were actual 'conspiracy theorists' they would'nt be telling anything reliably true to start with.There seems to be a problem with the obvious definitions of things there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

there have been many many instances in the past where "conspiracy theories" have been proven TRUE once years pass and once-sensitive information is released to the press or public.
the united states and every other governing body of the world, engages in covert, secret, unconstitutional endeavors for whatever reasons, and this feeds the paranoia. the "conspiracy theory" that bush and his people went to war in iraq becaue iof a personal agenda and not because of weapons of mass destruction or because of hussein ties to al quaeda (which was tossed around 3 years ago) is and was entirely TRUE.

do not discount the conspirace thorists. sometimes they are right.

Just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you.

the far fetched outlandish conspiracies are easier to dismiss, such as the faked holocaust and the faked moon landing, involve so many thousands and thousands of people that would ahve to "keep a secret" that they are easy to dismiss.

however, people had theories about a conspiracy for government and business to price fix the electric utilities in california and a few years later that was all proven TRUE, and the multi billion dollar enron scandal erupted from that.

the conspiracy theory that big auto manufacturers purposefully destropyed the idea of an electric car to continue making money off of fossil fuels and internal combuistion engines was ridiculed for twenty years, but it WAS TRUE

treat everything with an open mind. do not make a judgement until you have checked the pertinent info, and if there is no pertinent info, reserve judgement until you can get some, either proving or disproving.

Agreed. I couldn't have said it better.

That's a lot of bollocks in this time and age.

not at all porkmarrass. in this day and age it is the way of the world. information is key. informaion is power. those who have power control the information,a dn that is what feeds the "conspiracy" theories.

why else would the soveriegn leader of a nation like the UK bend over and suck the twisted alcoholic anus of our preznit dubya?

and why does th USA give a flying fuck what the country whose rule we overthrew thinks and does? a country with minimal monetary, olitical, and military power compared to europe?

just questions I have.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HaydenAsche

That sounds like me but I think conspiracy theories are entirely made of horse shit.

me too Hayden, i spend way too much online, but like me, you have the cop on to realise the Horse Shittius Maximus of these theories.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

conspiracy theories are impossible if you ask me. SOMEONE is bound to find out and then it wouldn't be so fucking arcane and sinsiter, now would it?
therefore they are all dumb.

didn't you ever stop to believe that the SOMEONE to who you are speaking of could be one of those wild conspiracy theorists? Sometimes the raving lunatics are the most intellegent and clear-headed people in our society. Sometimes they are the only ones who are not vulnerable to the mass media propaganda spin doctors. Sometimes they are just lunatics, but you should never through out a good idea just because it didn't come from some sort of "legitimate" source, because there is just simply no such thing as a legitimate source for any piece of information. All info is biased, and so listen to EVERYTHING that you hear and take good fucking notes, because truth is found everywhere.

the moral of the story is to keep the skeptical eye aimed not towards to conspiracy theorists, but towards the legitimate information sources such as the universities, the public schools, the politicians, the establishment etc. they are the ones who are trying to hide even the most petty of facts from the common man. the conspiracy theorists, they are honest and open as can be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by h8kurdt

Cobain was murdered y'know.

funny you should mention that. When being interviewed for the movie Last Days Kim Gordon said she thinks he was murdered.

Apparently the Crocodile Hunter is alive with Tupac and Elvis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

once again cheeto rules the board. or rob i mean. damn. it's hard not to think of cheeto as cheeto. but anyway, great post.

you can see the movie yourself at http://www.loosechange911.com/
I don't buy it completely, but some of the things they say really make sense. Like why did that other building crash down, two blocks further down the street?

The Kurt Cobain theory is a bunch of shit, just like the JFK one as well, Kurt was too fucked up to care about his life or his daughter. And JFK was murdered by one person not the CIA or Goverment.So stop spreading or believing in this theory.

Some conspiracy theories previously thought of as nonsense have now passed into the realm of historical fact, so its wise to consider a theory as potentially plausible if its execution would be of benefit to someone in power and it doesn't involve too many ex-LSD monsters talking about 'them' being interplanetary lizards in disguise.

Most theories are nonsense, of course, no question, which is a shame; the mass of bad theories help to hide the ones that may (note 'may') be grounded in fact.

It's undeniable that governments, security forces and other powerful bodies the world over act improperly, whether it's individuals, departments or whole organisations. It's also undeniable that illegal or improper behaviour is subject to denial by the perpetrators.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama

Sort of off topic, but you can create your own conspiracy theories here:
http://www.cjnetworks.com/~cubsfan/conspiracy.html
I cheated a little on mine though…

What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand The Year Punk Broke you need to realize that everything is controlled by a a group of Sonic Youth fans made up of hot chicks and dicks with help from lonely attention whores.

The conspiracy first started during the Reading Festival in England. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including an avid addiction to record shopping and collecting..

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by wearing their hats backwards while walking around pretending to know what people are talking about when in all actuality they have no clue..
They want to go slam dancing with Thurston and imprison resisters in hell using mad methods of torture..

In order to prepare for this, we all must Rock. Since the media is controlled by Porkmarras we should get our information from Kegmama.

That sort of reminded me of this gem from the net many years ago (fortunately, it's still there):

Top Ten Ways To Post Like A Conspiracy Lunatic

10. Have no sense of humor, irony or whimsy.

9. The fact that an "official" investigation shows there was no conspiracy is not evidence that the conspiracy does not exist; rather, it is evidence that the conspiracy does exist. Otherwise, why would they deny it?

8. Use "quotation" marks, *highlighting*, CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation points!!!! indiscriminately.

Example: All the "official" photographs of the Roswell "debris" are clearly photographs of weather balloon material, *proving* CONCLUSIVELY that the "government" *removed* the REAL remains and substituted the balloon parts in a vain attempt at a COVERUP!!!!!!!

7. Follow up every non-sequitor with "COINCIDENCE?"

Example: NASA, the same organization that says the face on Mars is *not* a sign of intelligent life, also used Tang on its early missions. Tang is a product of General Foods, which owns the candy bar manufacturer Mars, Inc. COINCIDENCE?

6. The most tenuous of connections between a person who debunks your theory and the alleged conspirators is cause to disregard the debunker.

Example: Dr. Levin P. Stacy of Michigan State University, a "journalism" professor, argues that the Roswell "phenomena" is merely an example of millinerian "hysteria," and that no coverup exists. However, STACY WORKS AT A PUBLICLY FUNDED UNIVERSITY, WHICH RELIES HEAVILY ON GOVERNMENT GRANTS!!!!

5. Insert examples of how your personal life has been wrecked because the conspirators know you are on to them. If your significant other has left you, it's not because of the tinfoil hat you've taken to wearing, it's because "they" got to him or her.

4. Always put commonly accepted descriptions in quotation marks. Examples: "British" Royal Family, press "commentator," "progressive" thinker. Also, make sure you never report anyone as "saying" anything, they always "claim" it.

3. Insist that the experts know nothing, and that all you need is the Bible, the Constitution, Black's Law Dictionary and a handgun to prove your point.

2. Make it up as you go along.

And the Number One Way to Post Like a Conspiracy Lunatic:

1. You're not cleared for that.

oh man you didn't write that but i must still give you props for the hilarious and brilliant post. brilliant!

this one in particular cracked me up:

Quote:

7. Follow up every non-sequitor with "COINCIDENCE?"

Example: NASA, the same organization that says the face on Mars is *not* a sign of intelligent life, also used Tang on its early missions. Tang is a product of General Foods, which owns the candy bar manufacturer Mars, Inc. COINCIDENCE?

ha ha ha ha.

Cheers. It's been along time since I've read it, but it's lost none of its charm.

From the same site:

ILLUMINATI
To the tune of "Eleanor Rigby"

Illuminati...
They put a thing made of tinfoil on top of my door...
What is it for?
Illuminati...
Shooting a ray at my cornflakes to make them turn green...
What does it mean?
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

Illuminati...
Doing unspeakable things in the night to a cow...
Where are they now?
Illuminati...
Sent an impostor in place of the Popsicle man...
What is their plan?
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

Illuminati...
They cancelled Star Trek, The Fonz, and My Mother, the Car...
Are they bizarre?
You can't escape them;
Even if you take a plane to Nepal or Peru...
They'll be there, too...
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

I know that they know all about me...
They know that I know all about them...

Illuminati...
Hide their assassins' instructions in newspaper text...
Who will be next?
They're all around us...
Underline every third word in the Times and you'll see...
How can it be?
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

They're in the attic and the cellar...
Bigger than Hunt or Rockefeller...

Illuminati...
Go through my garbage and count all the pop bottles there...
Why do they care?
They're out to get me...
They're fluoridating my water from their UFO...
What do they know?
The Illuminati... They're everywhere, I see.
The Illuminati... And no one knows but me.

i was shutting down my machine & i saw that song & started singing it in my head and i laughed so hard i choked. i do have to go now but thanks for the laughs, that song is the greatest ever--

The illuminati is a weird theory, "They" whoever "they" are will take over the world and make it a one nation world, Best theory ever.

it's not so unrealistic to think the government was behind 9/11.

Quote:

Originally Posted by finding nobody

http://www.zeropaid.com/bbs/archive/...p/t-15972.html
Even though I wanna believe it sooo bad..

i never understood why people made him out to be such a fucking god. i'm not discounting him because i do like nirvana and he was a talented guy, but big deal.

oh, not to mention that they found a fucking body with the head blown off.