i want a girlfriend who i only see once a week


it's like when americans portray the english wearing tophats, riding in a horse drawn carriage (or rolls royce) while drinking tea. it's just annoying.

Makes stupid jokes, clever/unique, dorky, likes decent music, good sense o' humor, not a Jesus freak or Bible-thumper, nice, INTELLIGENT, cool, adorable, etc. etc.

Hmmm..are you gay?

You forgot villainous behavior. The English are often portrayed as villains. Unless you are Hugh Grant.

my last girlfriend was too clingy for me, so now i want someone who doesn't take up all my time.

..and won't steal your bowler hat and bumbershoot.

does your wife steal your leather trousers? (to wear them, or to hide them, i don't know)

She has her own.

well i guess that means she's hiding them then


(leather trousers for women should be mandatory by law)

I'd say a human being needs to be in a relationship for a couple of days a week only.The rest isn't necessary.Time,space and emotions get all sorted out that way.And make sure to change their nappies!

my boyfriend is my ideal mate in all ways except he doesn't have dreadlocks...:D heehee...that sounds so shallow...i would love for him to have them, but i don't really care...he's funny, hot, very smart, treats me wonderfully, he's ambitous, unique...i could go on & on, but i'll stop now...:p

I've found it, I think, so I'll just describe her briefly;

Kind, playfully innocent but it's obvious she's got an awful, awful mind, extensive knowledge of old cartoons from the 90s, tolerance of addiction to 'the simpsons', excellent/flamboyant sense of style, giddy, enjoys subway almost as much as I do, characteristic nose, mother likes me.

he's really tall and skinny and pasty and would make a horrible parent. i've met my match.

You're so outrageous.

yeah i know. like jem.

She looks like the singer from Nitro.

you have a male twin?

where do you think i got that rock, son?

Whatever happened to the good old days of hijacking a reasonably good thread in a humorous way?I'll dedicate 'San Francisco',a rather vile but aurally agreeable song to anyone who thinks that they don't get enough love.

Those days are gone like your forwardly-spelled name and four-armed Grimace.
The good times are over!

the pawn shop?

i actually have no idea where it came from. who do you think gave it to me would probably be a better question to ask.

It's time to reach for my Black Sabbath records.

Don't you mean Wolfmother, porkie?

i suspect somewhere out there's a sad girl is missing her ring and more...

tough titty said the kitty when the milk ran dry.

florida = ewww

but i think you could love miami-- especially south beach

Anything that is starkly different from who i am is always bound to pose as a real attraction.I rely on your pms for insider tips.

I'd go to Florida with you. For all the wrong reasons.

I take my advice from that world renowned relationship therapist David Lee Roth:

"I want a woman who is awsome in bed and then, after sex, turns into a pizza"

not to be a sappy bitch or anything but i've already found my ideal partner. i met him when i was 12, i'm now 15, and he really defines every quality i'd want in a guy. smart, hilarious, spontaneous, caring, not overly romantic, gorgeous, nonmaterialistic, etc. i could say a lot more about him but i won't.

my baby:

that's right-- don't jinx it

Be funny and smart. I don't care about looks or and of that vapid shit. As long as they are smart, and funny or at least entertaining. But I also want somone who isn't shy of getting loose.

in the bowels? no comprendo.

Getting loose as to do somethig estupido.

ah!!

heart of gold
rockin'
hott
likes sports
funny as hell
creative/into art
confident
good cook

there is no perfection.

what you think would be perfect usually turns out to not be what makes you happy

funny
cute
artistic
i feel like im worthy of her
can be serious
is smart
can have conversations
doesnt mind that im quiet

quit it, i'm sick of seeing my fucking face everywhere.