Originally Posted by val-holla-ing

i'm most confident when i'm drunk.

Originally Posted by luxinterior

There are a lot of people who I think are better looking than me, but I wouldn't want to look like them.

I think my hair has a nice color, thickness, and texture, though humidity is still a bitch. I like the way my bottom teeth are crooked even after braces (twice). I used to hate my ears, I thought they stuck out, and now I wonder what I was thinking back then because my ears are fine. My nose confuses me because I'm the only one in my immediate family with a nose that looks like mine. My mouth and lips are big, so they make the bottom half of my face look heavier than the top. My eyes make me look perpetually stoned. It's a familiar face, and I'd hesitate to change anything about it.

I think a person's appearance and how it changes over time has a huge effect on the individual's personality. In another thread I talked about how when I was younger I was often mistaken for a boy. This has made a tremendous impact on how I see myself. Today no matter what I look like, or what I'm wearing, I never actually feel feminine. I'm very unaware of being a girl, and by that I mean I'm often caught off-guard in situations where my gender becomes an issue. I hold open doors for both men and women, of all ages, and this usually makes the men feel uncomfortable, but still every time I instinctively hold the door open no matter who it's for. At work there have been times when heavy lifting has been necessary, and I would be over there helping some other employees move heavy boxes around, until one of the ladies I work with would tell me to stop and let the men take care of it. These sort of things make me snap back into reality, like taking a step back from what's going on and seeing everything as it really is. Then of course I notice that it really was me and a bunch of guys moving boxes, and none of the ladies were helping, which I hadn't noticed before.

That's why the idea of doing a self-portrait really puts me off. Because then it becomes girl, brown hair, big mouth, etc, and that's only what I see in a mirror. When I'm out and about I don't think of any of it.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

luxy, and why should you think about all that? frilly girls are annoying. oh yes they are. stereotype girls get on my nerves. i dont know you in real life but here you're one of the coolest people here, i swear. by the way, you also don't fit the stereotype of your age-- sometimes i read your posts and i think you're 30. but that's what makes you interesting you see. you're nobody else but you.

about you portrait i have an idea. let me see if i can find it...

Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue

i think i love you, so what am i so afraid of!

hahaha

good luck with your portrait and i hope i was of some help

Originally Posted by luxinterior

I'm not trying to say that I wish I felt more like a girl. I don't wish that. I think I have an advantage this way that a lot of people don't. But it does make it difficult to be around people who are very wrapped up in being a girl or a guy, and only act accordingly.

The first friend I ever made in grade school was also often mistaken for boy. We used to talk about it, I mean we both thought it was pretty cool. I think that her and her twin sister had the biggest influence on me out of all of my friends.

Originally Posted by luxinterior

You were a big help, thank you. I think you really understood what I was getting at, when you posted that picture and wrote about it. I'm glad you did.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

how come he gets all the attention? no fair i tell you. :D

Originally Posted by krastian

I wish I was hotter.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

my wife broke her clavicle playing football when she was little ha ha.

about people expecting stereotypes--why waste time hanging around them?

this makes me wonder if you live ina small town--i would suspect that. what i love about cities is that everybody is different & nobody gives a shit.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

finally! here...

y
you should make this your portait. it would be an awesome painting.

Originally Posted by luxinterior

I think I'm missing my friends from high school. With them I didn't have to tip-toe around anything, I could say whatever. They were the most like me in the way that they would accept just about anyone who accepted them. The fact that most of them were gay probably figures into all of this. I didn't have to put up with all of that straight person crap that I never liked being involved in.

City people frighten me.

Originally Posted by luxinterior

I would, but that leaves only 2 weeks to paint 5 faces. And that ain't gonna happen.

Originally Posted by luxinterior

They'll just love you. Well, your money at least.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

that's funny-- small town people scare me. they are plenty nice, don't get me wrong-- it's something else...their very narrow expectations of how things should be. i feel them like a straitjacket. of course i do as i please. but still, almost nobody gets my jokes here. which is not the case with my d.c. friends (i miss them too). damn, we've been homesick all day.

Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue

...



:/

Originally Posted by luxinterior

I'm just going to print those out.

Originally Posted by luxinterior

We're not all bad. We put up with a lot of crap. I don't just mean from city people, I mean from our own people when some of us don't quite fit in. There's nowhere you can go so you have to learn to deal with it. It builds character. I think it's actually good for a person to have to deal with that early on in life. You learn not to take things for granted.