working out late makes me so hungry. and you don't help.

That is hurtful.
I am here to help.

you just want the keys back.

Well what am I supposed to do, sleep in this thing?

if i say so.

Princess Dreamlick

nice.

Sugar Silverjugs

Wouldn't "Silverhair" be more apropos?

sounds like a southern name. strangely appropriate.

Sugar Silverjugs says, "Y'all cum again now, y'hear."

ha ha ha gross. can you do accents in real life?

Actually, yes. Some. The Southern one is easy for me. Almost too easy. In a few months, I might sound like a mighty fair match for Mr. Andy Griffith. "MMMM-mm. Gooood cracker. Good cracker!"

Although I'm learning there are different Southern accents. The accent in South Carolina is different from the accent in North Carolina, is different from the accent in Georgia and Alabama.

Oddly, most people I know from Florida don't seem to have an accent.

cos they are geriatric transplants from new york?

Yes. Seriously, I think a good part of Florida's citizenry originates from New York and the Midwest. I know a few people from Iowa and Minnesota who, for reasons unfathomable to me, have retired in Florida.

http://www.mikeszine.com/issue4_stripclubgames.htm

Mike's Guide to Strip Clubs
If you're like me, a good lap dance once a week keeps the old juices flowin', so to speak. I spent the last several years dedicating myself to gaining a fuller understanding of this lucrative industry. I have been a patron of the erotic arts for a while, and I would just like to give a little advice to those young gals coming up in the field. Whether you’re a single mom with four kids and no child support or a teenage runaway looking for a quick buck to score some speed at the bus station, the exciting world of erotic dancing can be a lucrative career choice.
Becoming an erotic dancer is a dream for many girls but for those that have the stamina, vision and dedication for the long hours and pole-chaffing routines, there may be a dirty wad of twenties in your future.

The first step to becoming an erotic dancer is choosing a good stage name. Your nom-de-plume, should be exciting, exotic and as any professional dancer will tell you, classy. Names that fall into these categories include fruit, cars and precious stones.

The Fruit Category: Not all fruits make good names for dancer. For instance, who wants some chick named Bananas or Apricot grinding on the old Johnson, not me. Choose a cute name like Cherry or Peaches, and watch the money pour out of your G-string.

The Car Category: Vrrrrooom! Vrrrrooom! Combine a man’s two favorite hobbies -- fast cars and faster women -- and you have a sure-fire winner! The best car names are the really expensive ones like Porsche or Mercedes. Remember to stay away from American brands. While, like me, you may be the proud owner of a Dodge Aries K or Plymouth Sundance these would be poor choices for stage names.

The Precious stones Category: As a general rule the more expensive the stone, the better the stage name. No one will every get sick of names like Diamond, Sapphire, Ruby or Opal.

If you really want to get creative try combining your real name with a defining characteristic. If your name starts with a B you have plenty of choices from Busty Brenda to Belinda BigUns. If your name starts with an M try Mandy Mountains or Misty Mounds. As usual my readers love to play the games that we include in every issue. Here are a few games for those of you that are regulars at the old tittie bar.

Who’s your daddy? This question has been a favorite of strip club customers for generations. Many strippers can easily identify their fathers; however, their own children may find the task a bit more challenging.

Guess what’s in my pocket: This game is fairly easy, but I never get sick of playing it with my favorite lap dancer.

Strip Club Rodeo: As an erotic dancer things can occasionally get a little slow around the old tittie bar. Your customers will always appreciate a little humor with the old bump and grind. Wait till the middle of your next lap dance and then mention these seven little words and see how long your can hold on! “Is that your wife at the door?” Ride 'em Buckaroo!
She’s really into me! This game requires 2-6 balding overweight middle-age men, and an ability to believe in the impossible.

on a totally unrelated note, i thought i'd post this

Her: Honey, did you just fart?
Him: Just keep smiling, dear.

A sales clerk stopped what she was doing and looked up at me: "Are you from Italy?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you from Italy? You have an accent."


... True freaking story. Dillards, last Saturday afternoon, women's wear.

i hope he was wearing panties!

Ha!

I think she was a she. You never know though.

I also got in trouble for going into the fitting room with my wife. "Sir! Sir! You can NOT be in there."

"Well, it seems I am."

"Sir, you must come out."

no i mean he, the farter.

please refer to "dilemma" thread for the truth about girls.

Oh. Ha! This is getting a little complex, all this cross-talk between themes and threads.

Yeah; it's like you have to read the board or something.

Sugar Glitterheat.
How lame. I'll just be Angela Amethyst.

I must use this for my advancement of flirting with you. Oh so gay you are.

Glitterjuice! Glitterjuice! Glitterjuice!

ok. what hapens now?

Your dead stripper may appear in thirty seconds or less.

Warning! there has been evidence that indicates this is not 100% true.

Yes! wait... dead?




...i've decided i'm gonna will my body to a bunch of necrophiliacs.

But read the fine print. She might be alive or he, depending on your likes.

Raquelle Lustytush. That second bit is really me.