yeah, PM me yr address and a description of the tunes you like and I will send ya a shitton of tunage

Count me in too. I'd be happy to make a mix tape for ya.

What grade are you in?? The further in highschool people get it seems the more depressed they become. If I hadn't left my highschool in willmar, I probably would have committed suicide. I tried twice - once as a freshmen, once as a sophmore. And seriously I think it is because of routine. I felt like I was fucking meaningless, you know? No purpose, that sort of shit.

But things are better now.

What you need is a change of scenery.. Dave was right about working out, it makes you feel good and look good! And what helped me getting out of my funk was making new friends. Not like I was all, "FUCK YOU." to the old ones, but drifting in social circles does help eliviate stress. Maybe having more in depth conversations with those people you sort of know would do you good??

I really wish you peace. Maybe take a yoga class? It sounds sort of lame, but my self-esteem and mental health have been faring pretty amazingly since I started my yoga class. Its the mix of movement and meditation that helps, and if you have a good instructor it can be pretty psychologically beneficial too.

Start your own business. You won't have time to get frustrated.

I was kind of thinking this last Friday on my 19 hour work day. I was really depressed but then I smokked a joint....felt better. I really don't know how to cope with it. I always told myself things may get better...but that doesn't help really...

btw it might sound a bit weird but food (the good kind) can do wonders too.. learn how to cook and make stuff that is good for you, you have no idea how much good it does to you. about a year ago i heard how bad my blood was, i lacked all kinds of stuff and had to bring some changes in my diet, and when i started doing that i got a huge burst of energy and felt so much better.

learning how to sing can help too, and really sing how you're 'supposed' to. it is a way of using your body as an instrument, great for your confidence. plus singing releases endorphines, which is better than taking pills..

Oh, I feel this way sometimes. Not that my life is dull, just some people are really annoying and make me want to die. Some fun things I do to get my mind off of these things are: play guitar, teach myself a new instrument, play video games, watch a movie/tv, play sports, or learn how to play a new sport that could be a lot of fun, ex. swimming. You can also jog, at first it sucks, but after a while you may find it very relaxing and you will be able to run further. And its a good time spender.

Good advice here. Like people have said exercising really does make you feel better. I recommend cycling as it gets you fit, it's a really good way to get around nature and it gives you time to think about stuff and get a clear head.

Just getting out the house does the world of good, Richard Pryor said something like you gotta keep some sunshine on your face and for me this is so true. This probably isn't for you given your state of mind but the first time i took acid I realized how great life can be if you have motivation and goals. You can get anywhere if you keep a positive attitude and don't let the masses bring you down. Hope everything works out for you man and remember to believe in yourself no matter what.

The mountains surrounding Asheville are magical. I have put my wishes out to them and am assured the mountains will answer.

I dunno, I still think World of Warcraft is the answer.

When it comes to girls, you are probably just not very forward. And I'm not either, hell... I went 2 years without even kissing a girl (and this was from age 14 until now). But... you don't know what will happen in the future.

I now have a girlfriend and I'm very very happy with her. And it just naturally happened. We were best friends for a year or so (and we were boyfriend/girlfriend when we were 13... but I didn't want a girlfriend at that age) and it just got to the point where we felt it was right to go out. I don't quite know what I'm trying to say with this but... don't think of girls as potential girlfriends, think of them as potential friends first. Something will then happen naturally through that I assure you.

I feel like how you feel all the time actually but don't go as harsh as killing yourself. You have your whole life ahead of you.

This helps a lot. Unconditional love, and very warm on a cold night.

Man, shit has changed for me in such a short period of time. There was a time I wanted a girlfriend but after seeing my friends being tied down to drama like that put me off. And really the only attraction I had to a relationship was entirely for self-confidence. With time and various flings, that issue with confidence has largely disappeared. Now I have a persistent sense of poise.

Girls are just like street cars. They come and go.

lol....it does help

I, of course, have no idea what that is.

is diablo out already?

^^^ not even in beta. yr looking at christmas.

How about VHS?

Laserdisc, if yr lucky.

So... . I would say this much to ZERO, in the final analysis. LOOK at the shit I put up with here almost every time I post anything. I get disparaged for my AGE, I get disparaged for some rep as a possible pedophile because cantankerous and I had this romantic infatuation, I get SLAMMED for liking the Rolling Stones in their glory days, I get ABUSED for having a HISTORY with rock music that reaches back into the 1960s...

And yet I don't let it get me down. I persevere in my perverted way... .

okay, fuh real, no more boosh betamax songs from me.

i feel like i'm in a similar situation. some days i feel like i'm getting out of that void, but then i sink back into it. i don't even know.

since i don't have any direction or control of bigger things at the moment, the only shit that seems to help are small changes. get out of your comfort zone, y'know? get into a few of the awkward conversations, get out as much as possible, maybe try things you wouldn't "normally."
trial and error: sometimes your attempts won't work, yeah, but sometimes you'll have FUN or meet somebody new. (or with yr music making, just go in all different directions, i suppose.)
... it's better knowing that you tried and failed than sitting slumped and wondering about it all yr life, right? seems slowww, but things build up in time. i mean, i finally feel like i've got a shred of confidence, like i've got a fucking solid group of friends to do anything/nothing with whenever, et cetera. i'm starting to believe the "it will get better" shit, even!

also, i'll just reiterate what err'body else said: exercise, healthy food, relaxation. mmm.

^^^ repped for playing The Age Card.


a post that almost was:


I thought that I'd posted that in crayon's epic "Things you think other members secretly do/like" thread, but apparently I failed to.

I was preoccupied last week.

You could say the same for men, DONT FERGET!

True, but I'm more like a bus.

All aboard, ladies.

way to cheer up pumpkins.

I hope yr as disgusted as I am.

Despicable!

First I want to say it means a lot for you to come here and be able to express yourself honestly in making this thread. You didnt come off as whiny in the slightest, even being so bold as to say you might kill yourself, you explained your feelings very well I think.

And I can relate. I wish I could offer advice like many good folks have. There are things I want to believe in and know would help, like consistent exercise and good eating, proper nutrient balance, refining hobbies and keeping things active in your life (all things affect the others, even in ways you wouldnt suspect.)

But I cant. I'm at the point, myself, where for the past 6 months or so I havent even really been able to listen to music. Its lately that I've realized that this depression has been different from others because at least in the past, music is the one thing I've always been able to find enjoyment from. Not this time. I have absolutely no motivation to try the things I mentioned above, becuase I feel like I have tried and quit them so many times, that I just dont see the point anymore, because by now its like I'm just going backwards. The spark of hope I would hold every time I get up and try again is not returning. Any time I try something new now, I just get anxious and unfocussed, and I quit.

I actually feel kind of bad for posting this.

"All healthy men have thought of their own suicide” - Albert Camus

Again thanks for the advice and stories everyone. I tried anti-depressants for a year but they did not work at all. I don't like how I felt with them..

As for the mixtapes, you don't have to go to all that trouble sending them to Australia, really. I'd just end up finding even more cool artists which I don't have any money for haha.

same here

theres no shame in downloading music

Nah dude I just don't feel right about it. Plus I like having the CD to own :)

Marty, if you ever figure any of this out, please let me know because I'm still struggling myself.

I heard something corny but possibly helpful. Make a journal and write down 5 things that were good that happened in that day, no matter how small they are. Eventually it's supposed to help you have a more optimistic approach to life. I dunno if it actually works, it seems harmless enough, though.. I might try it out soon, might as well.

Yeah, because heaven forbid you do something constructive.

Filling wants feel good, but filling needs feels even better.

i'm in with sway, with the turn the shitty times into art...
What you're saying here very roughly reminds me of some of my most nihilistic times back when i was 19. Different circumstances though but nevermind. This is exactly when is tarted recording to 4track and first created the home impirnt of Greed Rex which was developped as something "real" a few years later. I would also do lots of photos, weird artwork, drawing with pencils, looooooooooooong walks, WRITING,writing, writing.
This is all the more interesting as you can still keep this stuff and check it out years later and realize you had still remained creative at that time and it does help when you're IN the shit.
And travelling but it does cost money and is not always possible.
All the above was still good to me at the time at that time.
I understand you just realized that you had no more interest in yr own music these days but mmm you should start a new project, different name (which makes sense as you're in a process of maturing and changing anyways), different stuff.
Turn the gloom into creative outpiut, no matter how useless you THINK it might be.

I'm 31 now and still tend to look at all the notebooks, Cassettes i recorded, artwork i did, novelias i wrote, and misc stuff i have kept and mmmm it's priceless. Part of whom i've become.

I feel like I was in this situation too. There is really only one thing to do, wait. I know you don't want to hear that but that is all you can do. However, you can do plenty to make this wait more enjoyable. I really forced myself to make new friends and to find people I could party with and have interesting conversations with. My life has improved so much since I forced myself into having a social life, and I encourage you to do the same.