This was posted on Roger Ebert's website


I received this message on the blog, but it obviously fits no known topic. The author is something of a mystery: "R. Crutch," no city, no e-mail. But I felt it necessary to share with you. RE

From R. Crutch:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one

This thread needs some random pics :




(I want this fridge !!!)

 

Firefox is sexy.

I posted that pic a few months ago.

www.kittyhell.com

didn't realize that chick was wearing a firefox shirt though!

rep.

Oups, sorry !!!

ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF FABLED DUCKBEAVER:::





what an amazingly creepy website!

I like it.


ps: new sig!

I got a nose ring today but can't for the life of me get the fucking ball on.

Frustration overload.

I'm trying to fit as many shows into my semester as possible, right now it's standing at 6 or more. Oh, and can someone magic me a 9V 500mA adapter out of thin air? Thanks.

shows as in music or tv?

i need to go to sleep tonight.

Music. 6 is the base number, it should be quite a few more as more get announced. Television shows are a spur of the moment thing, not requiring planning.

depending on where i am soon, i could have anywhere from 8 or 9 to 4954954939.

Last fall I went to a whopping 2, so I'm hoping to do better this year. 4 of the 6 are in a two-week span, so hopefully I can get at least one every week or two other than that.

For the love of God, why do I have to have that "Little Trouble Girl" tagged under my screenname?
Did the forty-something posts not emphasize n00b enough?
Branding "Little Trouble Girl" on me is just adding insult to injury- cruel and unnessacery.

As though the word "harmless" and a picture of Bambi don't? ha ha.

Which is going to come first, the "new" Guns N Roses album (17 years in the making) or the new MBV album (also 17 years in the making)?

Hold on let me get my flipping coin.

Heads. Guns N Roses.

did they not release chinese democracy?

oh, no, apparently not.

Well I didn't think the Forces Which Control the Board would already take care of making me feel like a little kid.
If I'd known that, probably would've made my avatar something really badass, like a nun with Satan in a headlock and had my screenname be something really masculine, like "pbradley" or something.