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This was posted on Roger Ebert's website
I received this message on the blog, but it obviously fits no known topic. The author is something of a mystery: "R. Crutch," no city, no e-mail. But I felt it necessary to share with you. RE From R. Crutch: Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one |
This thread needs some random pics :
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![]() Firefox is sexy. ![]() |
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didn't realize that chick was wearing a firefox shirt though!
rep. |
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ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF FABLED DUCKBEAVER:::
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what an amazingly creepy website! I like it. ps: new sig! |
I got a nose ring today but can't for the life of me get the fucking ball on.
Frustration overload. |
I'm trying to fit as many shows into my semester as possible, right now it's standing at 6 or more. Oh, and can someone magic me a 9V 500mA adapter out of thin air? Thanks.
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shows as in music or tv?
i need to go to sleep tonight. |
Music. 6 is the base number, it should be quite a few more as more get announced. Television shows are a spur of the moment thing, not requiring planning.
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depending on where i am soon, i could have anywhere from 8 or 9 to 4954954939.
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Last fall I went to a whopping 2, so I'm hoping to do better this year. 4 of the 6 are in a two-week span, so hopefully I can get at least one every week or two other than that.
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For the love of God, why do I have to have that "Little Trouble Girl" tagged under my screenname?
Did the forty-something posts not emphasize n00b enough? Branding "Little Trouble Girl" on me is just adding insult to injury- cruel and unnessacery. |
As though the word "harmless" and a picture of Bambi don't? ha ha.
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Which is going to come first, the "new" Guns N Roses album (17 years in the making) or the new MBV album (also 17 years in the making)?
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Hold on let me get my flipping coin.
Heads. Guns N Roses. |
did they not release chinese democracy?
oh, no, apparently not. |
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Well I didn't think the Forces Which Control the Board would already take care of making me feel like a little kid. If I'd known that, probably would've made my avatar something really badass, like a nun with Satan in a headlock and had my screenname be something really masculine, like "pbradley" or something. |
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