i want a girlfriend who i only see once a week


it's like when americans portray the english wearing tophats, riding in a horse drawn carriage (or rolls royce) while drinking tea. it's just annoying.

Makes stupid jokes, clever/unique, dorky, likes decent music, good sense o' humor, not a Jesus freak or Bible-thumper, nice, INTELLIGENT, cool, adorable, etc. etc.

Hmmm..are you gay?

You forgot villainous behavior. The English are often portrayed as villains. Unless you are Hugh Grant.

my last girlfriend was too clingy for me, so now i want someone who doesn't take up all my time.

..and won't steal your bowler hat and bumbershoot.

does your wife steal your leather trousers? (to wear them, or to hide them, i don't know)

She has her own.

well i guess that means she's hiding them then


(leather trousers for women should be mandatory by law)

I'd say a human being needs to be in a relationship for a couple of days a week only.The rest isn't necessary.Time,space and emotions get all sorted out that way.And make sure to change their nappies!

my boyfriend is my ideal mate in all ways except he doesn't have dreadlocks...:D heehee...that sounds so shallow...i would love for him to have them, but i don't really care...he's funny, hot, very smart, treats me wonderfully, he's ambitous, unique...i could go on & on, but i'll stop now...:p

I've found it, I think, so I'll just describe her briefly;

Kind, playfully innocent but it's obvious she's got an awful, awful mind, extensive knowledge of old cartoons from the 90s, tolerance of addiction to 'the simpsons', excellent/flamboyant sense of style, giddy, enjoys subway almost as much as I do, characteristic nose, mother likes me.

he's really tall and skinny and pasty and would make a horrible parent. i've met my match.

You're so outrageous.

yeah i know. like jem.

She looks like the singer from Nitro.

you have a male twin?

where do you think i got that rock, son?

Whatever happened to the good old days of hijacking a reasonably good thread in a humorous way?I'll dedicate 'San Francisco',a rather vile but aurally agreeable song to anyone who thinks that they don't get enough love.

Those days are gone like your forwardly-spelled name and four-armed Grimace.
The good times are over!