Maybe you need to built a window.

only if you could throw people out from it.

I just realized it was suppose to be a d not a t.

That's so true.
It's so unexpected that someone close to you can make it and that suicide will never be some kind of abstract thing to you anymore.

Ironically i think how you would benefit from homicide

I think about it just about every time somebody turns a noun into a verb.

Every second I spend without her in my arms makes me want to blow my head off with a shotgun.

But then if you did blow your head off, you'd never ever have her in your arms.

I'd be in the exact same situation I am now, then. Except I'd be burning in hell.

So I'll keep myself alive.

I thought about it for some time last year when I was going through real dark times of my life. But, then things started to lighten up and now I'm just wondering at how I can look at thinghs from a completely different perspective.

As for the selfishness mentioned above...suicide is NOT a selfish thing as long as you're the in the world left alone by yourself, you have no relatives, no loved ones...no one that would mourn you. In a case like that, nobody gives a shit and you're free to die.

There hasn't been a single post about the people you leave behind, if you take your life.
They are the ones who'll have to deal with your death.
Let the Grim Reaper decide when your time is up.
Until then, think positive and enjoy the ride while you can.

I have thought about it, during late last year, and early this year. But what kept me going, was that I needed to see what life was going to bring me. Albeit, I am still terrified of it. It comes and goes, but it doesn't have the strongest vibe it had as those weird months.

I guess I've never considered it a real option. Life always has seemed to go too fast the way it is, and that death will come knocking soon enough in one guise or another anyway, so why hasten it? In fact, when it arrives, I hope to distract it with a game of chess or poker, or we might peruse my LP collection and listen to some tunes.

I still don't understand what talking about this sort of intimate problems on the internet is going to do in beneficial terms to your collective psyches. Before you go blah blah blah, I too lost a friend through suicide, but would it feel right to talk in detail about him on the internet? Of course not, and it would feel like I'm being disrespectful towards him. You'd think that a certain degree of privacy is left for things that are actually more important than random chit chat with some attention seekers the world over, but it looks like that's not the case. Go on, if you try baring your soul a little more, who knows, redemption through kissing of the arse might even come through your post count.

Please tell us more about how you feel, Porky.

when i was teen fairly constantly. recently last year a little but not to the same extent and not to the point where I would really want to do anything about it.

so now...

never?

Honestly? Almost daily. Life in general disgusts me. I'm not going to explain my exact thoughts, but you could figure it out by knowing me.

There should be some way of notifying us, so we don't wonder what happened to so and so. A way your computer could send an auto notice to the board, something like, k-krack (or gmku or whoever) can no longer participate on the Sonic Youth forum board because he offed himself last night.

Too often I think about suicide, but as sonicl said earlier, i think it is more that i really want to cease to exist and disappear more than actually take measures . when im in a bad way , i feel like im too weak to do anything positive for myself or even go through with suicide itself .

usually when my thoughts float over ceasing to exist , it comes to me that it is not more core that wants me dead, it is the endless influences and negative perspectives that want me to . so i try to cut those out and find that value in what is truly best for me...to survive and survive well . treating myself better and working harder would benefit me and in turn , everyone around me , and everythign i reach out to (going from being good to family, friends, my environment, the world..) .
but then it just comes down to that i just dont have the energy to .
everything comes down to how much you Really, Really Want to .

Yeah, suicide's a bore, actually. I mean, you do it, and that's it. Nothing, kaput, over.

Dullsville...