i bet i could beat any of you in a farting competition

I call for a sonic Masturbate-athon.

I work out. Push ups, weights, and everything. Everything. Hoo hah!

I read The Sun newspaper and kill cats with a spade.

I eat Rice Krispies for breakfast every morning...with whiskey taking the place of milk.

BEING A MAN RULES ALLROOIGHT!

I sleep standing up.

i pee out of my anus because my dick is only used for impregnating things/females

I find rare, mystical unicorns in the woods and shoot them in the head then sell their horns on ebay (after gnawing them off with my teeth of course).

I sell childrens' blood for whiskey money and have holes in my shoes.

youre not a real man unless you hit your dick with a hammer

I actually call back women after the first date just to tell them it wouldn't have worked anyway because of my syphilis. Then I pick up a drunk slut at the bar and tell her the same thing after fornicating with her.

A hammer??....you pussy.

Yeah. And you forgot the manly "without flinching" clause.

pussy. my dick IS dinner.

i suppose cause girls aren't supposed to be dirty and filthy, prim and proper and such

i'd join you in the girls thread if i had something to contribute, i am not exactly the he-man type as you know

You heteros are rubbish, really. You know what the ladies really like? Manly DIY, manly CLEANING THE GODDAMN TOILET ONCE IN A WHILE, and manly heterosexual watching HER TV shows.

Yours

A gayer who has no clue about nowt, ever. Except the above.

fuck that shit. she doesn't get to have the tv, but she better bring me a sammich when I ask. and it better be quick. and tasty.

(a turkey pot pie would also be acceptable)

Shurely you mean "a massive CPU burger" (with turkey, of course)?

hell no. I mean beef. better be a steak sammich or she's going back and doing it all over again.