:rolleyes:

I know.
I had one of the worse panic attacks at work one day, and this lady sorta walking by said "you know, those things are all in the mind". I wanted to fuck her face with an ice pick. Statements like that are full of sense, while panic attacks are full of sympathetic nervous chemical floodings that render cognition absolutely useless.

It's not really so possible to control panic attacks as they come, as much as living a less stressed lifestyle as a whole. Sure, that might sound more like a bunch of useless advice. But its just like a person that just cannot lose weight no matter what they do, meanwhile other folks are pounding hot dogs and milkshakes with a tiny frame. The person with an ultra sensitive nervous system has to make very delicate tweaks in their overall life. You just have to reckon with how you manage stress. I for one cant be moving around changing jobs on a whim etc because I need the stability.

And then theres hormones - sugar and caffeine and fat in the diet igniting hormones that work against you.

I cant go on because this shit goes forever.

it's the truth.


that's pretty much how I did it. it all comes down to who's in control of yr mind. you or the perceived threats?

[this space contained deleted text]

worry on.

ps: if yr having actual panic attacks then you need to see a physician, as they could stem from physiological problems (ie: yr heart/adrenal system).

I'm not trying to minimize yr problems, just saying that if you are prone to full-on attacks, there may be a reason why.

have a sunshiney day. :)

Perceived threats are a maze.

Why must you always have those brackets of deleted text. I want your dead texts!

it's not worth it. best intentions better left unsaid etc etc.

besides, all of my dead texts are already in hell.

Yeah, I've gotten really good at packaging my true thoughts for the hell train, myself. Sometimes an odd one slips. They rarely help. It's worse when they do though, cause then more shit ones slip in the future until I remember what the fuck I'm on.

Anyways. I like the statement "gravely ill". It's more real than "terminally ill". That one always made me think of regular visits to public transit terminals, and that is a fate worse than death.

they are two different things.

gravis (heavy) < terminus (boundry\end)

I'd much rather be gravely ill. it's not as goth as it sounds.

Being gravely, terribly, heavily ill only delays the inevitable greeting of boundaries.

Agh, fuck you, transit!

But...that's the way.

Just like how being fucked up and doing fucked up things is the way.

yeah i like to get fucked up too and do some fucked up shit.




yeah, i bet you do.

uh huh. I want to say that it's such an old thing to say. Without being offesnive.

I don't for a moment believe you are completely cured of yr pre programmed ways.

lets see how you feel next spring. who's in control my butt.

I'm not saying that I don't believe in having some kind of control of how much my worrying has an effect on my life.

Just that sometimes I can't help it happening in the first place. I'm aware don't need to let it take over me.

meh.

Anyone who has never experienced a full on panic attack really has no idea.

It might be all fine afterward but at the time there is only so much (at least in my case) that I can do to try and halt it or reduce the severity. I have a million techniques that I use to cope, keep them at bay. I know what sets me off ( to a certain extent) and I avoid it.

I'm a different person when Im that far out of control. That is frightening in itself.

Sometimes, it's not just YOU. (you you you you you you you YOUUUU!) . But a process. Something relatable to human nature. Doesnt that make things feel better? But what you do with yourself adds.

My mother and older brother revealed stints of over-anxiety in their twenties. It made me wonder if it was simply a general enactment of genetic processing that I was enduring. But you know...my environment was foolish. Too much E, whiskey and speed. So it was like I took an overly sensitive nervous system and pounded it into the dirt. I believe in all this because of how long of a recovery I've had to take. It's taken a LOT to recover.

I dont know what lifestyle you have. But even more basic dietary misalignments can cause disarray in ultra sensitive ecosystems.

I'm searching for a point, and I think it's in how my family has nervous issues. Sometimes you simply grow out of it. And then from that, sometimes a person reacts by adding. I think I've tried to shock myself into changing away from my circumstances. That if I didnt know what I wanted, that by traumatizing myself, I'd somehow develop something useful and binding out of necessity. But forcing myself hasnt worked. It's merely excuses, like silent noise.

ah yes, let's patronize the elderly because they're old.

as well as tornadoes, I'm also afraid of bees. I run from them, screaming eeeeeeee like a lil girl. it doesn't mean I worry about bees.

I don't even worry about tornadoes anymore. sure, it's upsetting when a fucking doppler radar puts them on top of my house, but I don't spend march to may fretting.

what, me worry?

You better get back down to bed. This thread can take down the whirler's.

Besides, bees are my specialty. You didnt know. I am candyman.

Bees inside.

yeah bed sounds like the best idea right now.

for as much as I love the internet, I sure hate the motherfucker too.

True. Let's continue to patronize the old.
Somebody's got to cut up the zombies.

I'd like to say that I've never abused my mind/body but I have. Only to escape when I've already put myself into situations that are so draining mentally physically or both..

Last night I was talking about something similar.. how much control you can have over what happens to you vs how you react vs what your body will react to because of yr own distinctive makeup.

What else have you chanaged, apart from staying away from booze and amphets?

something really worrying me right now is that i listened to a recording of myself singing from two years ago and my voice sounded so angelic and untouched and pure, almost like a child's, and now i sound like hell.