sean connery > chris brown

i performed an unnecessarily violent act involving a carrier bag while playing Manhunt

I killed a killer.

One of the most fucked-up things I have ever done was when a neighbor I knew died, and at the funeral I asked his family if I could have his camera.

Confession shall not cleanse the stains from your soul.

wow, i was totally kidding

wow, there's this thing called a tasteless joke

wow, don't be so sensitive, Lucifer

p.s. i got so much rep for that post
not that i care
just saying, people are bizarre

It's funny because the homeless don't count as human.

lol. you're too cool to care.

I gave rep to Satan and was about to give her more. That's just so wrong.

what happened

That's what she said.

Crypto murders homeless people American Psycho style.

check last page

No, I saw your post.

I'm just saying...

what happened

Oh
Well
You know...
The usual

Paid for the hospital bill though
I'm not that big of an asshole

haha

Were you the one tryin' to take out the pigheaded monsta?
Did the bricks trick work?

Ok, if you insist. RE: my rape story.

Ok, so I was in the army, right? Some of the dudes that I served with had family. Wives, children.... this one dude I knew, he had the HOTTEST fucking 5 year-old girl. I know, I know, you're going to be all "She's 5, that's fucking sick and impossible." But you'd be wrong. They're just making kids extra hot these days. Anyway, we were at some barbecue and she comes riding out in her Barbie car. Gets out to reveal the shortest fucking skirt. Man, she was begging for it. So I offered her a magazine I had about horses, and then we did the horizontal chicken dance. No big thing (well, that's not what she said, but anything will look big in such tiny hands.)

Anyway, some time later I'm walking to the deli because I want a fucking slim jim with cheese (oh bro, I know that cheese is never refrigerated but fuck yeah), and some dude comes out of nowhere and punches me right in the face, fracturing my cheekbone. I'm all "What the hell mister!" Now, I could have taken him apart, I'm trained in jiu jitsu.... but what he didn't know is that I'm also a virulent masochist. I let him kick me while I was down, break a few ribs, rough me up a bit. At this point I was breathing heavy, almost ready to blow in my jeans. But the fucking cocktease runs off before I can unload! So there I am, with this CRAZY chubby. Like, it had veins going along it that I'd never even seen before. I just didn't know what to do with it. That's when this school bus passes by, one of the short buses... let's off a rather confused looking little boy. Man, we fit together like Sherry Lewis and Lambchop. You know, if Sherry Lewis' hand was a pulsing dick and Lambchop was a dim boy terribly afraid of adults (now.)

when i was about 13 i was in class with my teacher and she came over to me and asked if i needed a pencil

i still cringe and feel sick when i think about it now

once, I threw my iPhone across the room for giving premature rep messages.

"I..."

Never too late to reconcile.

Oh, and ALIEN ANAL, imagining the black inside of your skull robs me of any light the good Lord gave me.

most of the stuff i've done is illegal and i fear repercussions from Barak

It's not over until he's dead
until he's dead

I slashed the tires on this kid's brand new truck

this
and stealing signs and traffic cones and shit, jesus statues etc from people's lawns

When I was around 10 I stole my friends skateboard that I had just sold to him for about 20 bucks. Later that day he burst into my house, grab the skateboard which was by the door and ran out, so naturally i chase after him. I ran out onto my front porch grabbed a shovel that was laying up against the house, chased him down and smashed him in the back of the head with the back of the shovel. I threw the shovel down, grabbed the skateboard and ran back into my house. About 5 minutes later he knocks on my door (Thank god I didnt fuck him up with that hit) and saya "hey wanna hang out? im not mad" (haha, thinking back, kids are so fucking stupid) needless to say i fell for his trick, i open up the door and he charges at me we both fall back into my couch which flips over and spill out onto the floor. He then starts punching me repeatedly until my dog (a pit bull) comes into the room and attacks him, i get up and called it off and began to laugh, he joined in and everything was fine again. He only had a scratch on his arm thankfully. A scar which he still has. We are still friends today.

I have tons of stuff like that, if thats even bad...

Not gonna lie, that's kinda fucked up XD

...can't believe I'm repping you for Dateline shit.

fuck this fucking phone.

hahaha...me and my friend grabbed a stop sign with pole that was hit and carried it to his house. It was like a half mile from his place and we had to cross a busy street...heh. It was like 3 AM though.

sticky taped a mouse to the train tracks

Man, I must be the only nice person here...

You're all fucking bastards.

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Oh, once I yelled and almost went to blows on a kid that I learned later was so fucked up because he was raised handcuffed to his bed most of his childhood.

Anyone top this?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32122954...me_and_courts/