The heat is becoming unbearable here too. I need a swimming pool!

It's absolutely frightful here. What makes it worse is that The Open golf is being held from tomorrow, with practice today, a few miles away, so all the roads and buses are packed with extra people.

Stress is not my scene

You both need to wear sandals. No man can be stressed while wearing sandals. Unless you stub a toe, of course.

Well, it's time for me to brave the sun and the people and pop to Sainsbury's. If anyone wants anything picking up, text my mobile, yeah? Nothing too heavy, mind.

It's an extreme worry.
I'm wringing my hands over it right now. I feel...I feel as if I'm becoming UNGLUED...UNHINGED like the hemispheres of my brain are playing tug o' war...Good Lord ABBA! FATHER! this is horrible...
the walls are closing in...it's hard to...breathe

but if Tokolosh can make the front of the Wheaties box all with be right again...what an inspiration! Tokolosh, I sent 5 box tops in last Friday to help you. I can't believe these idiots over at General Mills are hemming & hawing about putting you on the box. It makes me so ang...R..oop, there I go again...FUCKIN STRESS...I've gotta get a handle on it..."Absoluuuutely FRIGHTful"
the horror the horror

What are you babbling about atari?

No need to get them for me, but Del Monte Smoothie ice lollies are Buy One Get One Free at the moment, and they're very nice.

nah. i'm not.

I just had a petit mal.

Some air conditioning would be really aprreciated in my office.Thanks.

Look, five long strides and you can be swimming in the Thames. Stop whinging, man.

All that quantum machanics stuff you're pumping into your head is probably causing that seizure.

Nah, that was in eleventh grade, T, when the TOE was all the rage...back when I knew higher math like the back of my hand.

Methinks he'd rather be swimming at Tim's than swimming in the Thames.

Yeah,swim in the Thames and catch malaria for your pleasure,right?No windows and no air conditioning.They promised to fit one last month.Still waiting.

I've taken pity on you. Expect a delivery from Interflipflop sometime this week.

The heat is already claiming some victims i see.

Help............. I............... need.................... Pimms........

Yeah, swimming in the Thames is probably better than the trying the Hudson & certainly cleaner than the Ganges, but still ill-advised.

There were some blackouts in Queens yesterday due to grid overload that I heard about on the news. The news was telling residents to stop running their air conditioners...yeah, right!

is sonicl supposed to be pronounced like monocle?

However you wish, my dear, so long as it's at the end of the sentence "Would you like some more ice in your Pimms".

sonicl, would you like some more ice in your pimms?

In holland they've warned the public to avoid channels 'cause there's an outbreak of "Blue algae". It's potentially dangerous to swim in water that has it. If you drink it you can get horribly sick or die.

Porkmarras, you need some rubbing alcohol & some water to periodically moisten yourself with...also, if you purse your lips & blow then the air is cool coming out of your mouth....or you can point a fan at yourself.

Have you removed shoes & socks yet? --- I suppose that may not be allowed. Ice on the top of your head, bottoms of your feet, stomach & balls would help.

You may have already tried these things...I feel for you like Chaka Khan.

Cantankerous, I thought you'd never ask....

I have the image of the great actor Simon Russell Beale sitting outside this morning looking more aggravated than he does when he acts in Shakespere plays.I've already drunk 2 litres of water and it feels better.No coffee or hot drinks.If i die at my desk i want you to know that i've loved you all.

God! I wish I was one of these guys.
Doesn't that look refreshing?

The company where I work used to have a swimming pool, but when the company changed hands the new owners decided it was too expensive to run and emptied it. It still sits there, laughing at us, with no water.

I've become a two-pint-a-night man in the past few months. I mean, every night. While making dinner, I feel compelled to drink one and then two beers. I know this sounds pretty innocuous, but I'm feeling like I've come to depend on them to relieve the stress of the day.

Some guy has just swam something like 150 miles of the Thames, from its source up to about the Grand Union Canal I think. God knows why, but it seems it was by choice. Anyway... apparantly he had to walk the first twenty miles or so because it's just dried up. So there you are.

edit: I assume it's this guy Well done, Andy.

your river is filthy, you brits.

So is our humour.

A favorite way for me to de-stress is just to call in sick and sit around at home playing records all day. I think I need one of those days real soon.

booze and pot sold seperately

Send me some of that primo California weed in the mail!

I am not a narc.