crypto?

edit: he IS a saint

There's a house around the corner from me that decks their house out and actually has a turning on ceremony with fireworks and everything...It's horrible and garish but I'm going to have a look this year. And in house a few doors down they seem to write cryptic comments in their window in that spray snow stuff.

Washing Machine probably knows the place I'm talking about...top of Whitchurch Road almost opposite Currys. Oops...I mean North Road....not Whitchurch.

I am Jewish and, therefore, have better reasons for hating christmas than everyone else. Here they are:
1) I have a tree in my house for no apparent reason
2) I have to buy people presents even though it's none of their birthdays
3) I am forced to listen to people singing celebration for that cunt being born who nicked all my people
4) Jews aren't allowed into churches unless invited - we are very like vampires in that respect

Only joking, I love Christmas! I am Jewish and angry, but who can remain frowning when Wizzard are on?

I like presents,therefore i like christmas.Whatever is being celebrated is fine for as long as i get a present.

i hate christmas time movies.

Jon Boy hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

You'll probably find that an awful lot of atheists celebrate Christmas as well. Although I'll grant you that they aren't worried either way about the whole Seventh gate of Jerusalem malarky. We're having a Muslim over for Christmas this year. Her family don't celebrate Christmas, for obvious reasons, but she does like to get presents and endeavour to be fat.

fuck christmas.

holy ass! is it true? what do they do, check for circumcisions at the door??

the worst part of this is that, if this is a joke, it actually rings true. damn!

half of me's not allowed in?

What Do Jews Do on Christmas?

Common misconception of Christianity that one. Moreso for non-Christians (obviously). There have been times when the Goyem (ha. You see my little joke there?) weren't allowed in Churches, but generally speaking Christianity is an evangelical religion, ie, love thy neighbour and don't turn people away from what 'they' (as a religion) consider to be 'the true God'. Although it depends on where you are. The Church says that it doesn't turn anyone away, but (more often Catholic) comminities have a terrible habit of turning away non-Christians as well as divorced Christians or Christians who've had abortions.

Get more presents than the Christians.

they go see a movie.

and i'm not even kidding.

shit, i went to catholic school & my friend had to claim his dad was dead so he could register.

confucius (ha) didn't specify which "church" though, i figure in small russian & polish villages this antisemitic crap might be the rule.

but trust me, a lot of fucktarded christians still think of jews as "murderers of christ". i shit you not.

I know. My most recent ex- was Jewish, and I was astonished at how some of the Catholics I know were... reserved about her. Coming from a retarded rural backwash has often annoyed me, but I didn't realise that anti-semitism was another of the local 'foibles' (along with pathological racism and a general dislike of anything other than white British)

Play with their Dreidels while watching bar-mitzvah videos.

oh man... oh man...

though i was brought up catholic, most of my girlfriends have been jewish, for some reason. of course i declared my atheism at age... 12? anyway, is it the common guilt, perhaps, that bonded us? ha ha. but seriously. i never had problems with other people, because i usually stay clear of religious cockbags.

about favorite jewish christmas activities i've taken part in:

CHINESE RESTAURANT

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

im buying plane tickets for this christmas because few people travel on that day & so it's dirt cheap. "thank god" for stupid holidays! :D

Oh God! In Fact That House made me hate Xmas!!!

Actually we drink a lot and watch shit tv same as everyone else. Oh, and we eat children from the local nativity pageant.

This will do a lot for inter-faith understanding. See everyone? The Jews are just the same as us. Why, they even eat mawling children, just like us! And they get to wear really cool hats. You go Judaism! Woo!

Listen, if some fucker doesn't know irony when he/she/it sees it then they can fuck off. Jews are not some weird freak sideshow, they are cunts, lovers, musicians, artists, chimney sweeps etc same as everyone else. And if that had been Shylock's speech then we'd all have been a lot less bored by Shakespeare in school. Ha ha, he said 'cunt'.

Well I for one love Christmas.

I am christmas.

The problem with irony is that if you use irony in response to something that was ironic, and a further post is possibly being ironic, but also possibly not being ironic in an ironic fashion, or even, ironically, not being ironic in an ironic fashion, then one loses trace of which was irony, which was serious, and which was serious irony. Ironically, I have no idea what I'm saying any more, which is probably more bathetic than anything else.

No, you're bored.

With two kids to my account,one rather demanding job and an often irate ex-wife i have very little to get bored about,sweet soul.You seem like quite an aggressive gipsy by the tone of your post.Am i wrong?

Porkmarras?

I'm sorry??

Nice work sir.

Incidentally, if you're step-father Christmas, does that mean that I'm getting two lots of presents this year?

I love you more than the real father Christmas. Don't tell him though. But that fat bastard hasn't replied to a single one of my letters. AND the fucker keeps stealing my brandy.

No dahling, I was agreeing with you, we're sound. We are going to abandon these humourless fuckers and sail to Cheltenham. 'Bathetic' is a great word, well done you. (And i actually know what it means too, well done me)

Aye. Although I'm more partial to Irish whiskey. Marlboro reds are my brand. And if you could introduce me to some college girls, that'd be ace.

Thanks Step-Father Christmas [I'm going to hyphenate it even if you're not]

Excellent. You win! I didn't realise there was anyone who understood proper wanker's words. I shall use them more often, methinks...

You are welcome Glice.I see we are one articulate little boy and Step Father Christmas likes little boys like that.More whiskey for this adorable little brat and NOW!!

well nothing i have seen or heard has changed my mind. ban this terrible festival i say.

ok tell me a joke and i might change my mind haha.