wtf are club drugs? like x and speed? is that it? i don't do that shit.

physically i started feeling REALLY shit today when i woke up. i thought my brain was going to fall out my nose.

Yeah, drugs to take in clubs basically, Es and Speed, Base, MDMA, also ketamine and cocaine, to a lesser extent. Well, beyond talk of shrinks and psychologists, it sounds like you need a good old fashioned doctor. Just because your experiencing this pain whilst in a depression which you beleive can't be helped, don't neccesarily group it in as related to the depression, its quite possibly a seperate problem alltogether.

tai chi, it will change your life it you take the time to do it properly and learn from a proper teacher, i.e. not a new age version of tai chi.

the physical pain can certainly be helped. matter of fact i'm tired of feeling this shit and i am going to do something about it.
the depression will go away on its own eventually, it always does. i have bad spells.


that's probably the best advice in this thread
i'm a weakling so i will look into that. just as long as you promise it won't build muscle.

i agree.

so im back for a bit

like someone said, you need a real doctor to make sure you don't have an actual physical problem that's causing the pain.

if it's the drugs, then once you detox the pain will go away.

and you don't need A LOT of exercise. all you need is 30 minutes of walking and 15 minutes of sunlight every day to maintain a basic level of health. if you spend all day sitting/lying around your blood doesn't flow right your metabolism gets fucked up your brain stops producing serotonin etc etc.

start small until it's a habit, then build on it.

you don't need 3 hours at the gym, you don't even need a gym-- just the street and a pair of walking shoes and a speed of about 3mph. that simple.

13 missed calls.

hahahahaha. he thinks i'm stupid enough to answer the phone.

i walk everywhere. i don't have a car, remember? don't need one.

30 continuous minutes. and 15 minutes of natural sunlight.

going across the street to get ice cream at 3am doesn't count.

of course that's not a silver bullet. if you suffer from PTSD, have shitty mental habits, are physically ill, eat toxic foods & ingest poisons, etc, you're not gonna be magically cured. it's a combination of effort in all areas.

ok so i read your post and i think yeah you might be overreacting-- but after X years of living there a bit of a friendly interaction with the neighbors couldn't hurt-- just a hello and blah blah so they are not afraid of you.

of course knowing virginia & virginians they are all probably a bunch of squares, so who knows-- in that case you should stop worrying of what other people think, because they are going to be jackasses everywhere. usually for this reason i prefer to live in urban areas where there is no "standard" of appearance/lifestyle/behavior & everyone goes about their business-- meaning some places are more friendly to eccentrics than others. of course i try to camouflage my eccentricities so i can leave in peace among the horde. i dress "normal" & get haircuts & all that. i do love to deceive the enemy. ha ha.

anyway sorry im drinking a beer & eating msg-loaded japanese snacks so i dont know if im maing sense ha ha. i think i do...

it won't

bitch, you should just let him know you're taking time off away & you'll be back-- no need to torture him (if that's what's going on).

just send a text message saying you're ok you'll be back and he shouldn't fret.

Yeah, I think 'he' (I assume your boyfreind) deserves to know your safe.

ok i laughed at that for longer than i should

get. out. of. my. head.

the weird sensations, extreme body and joint aches etc are apparently being caused by flu or something like that. some sort of really unpleasant infection.

i told him when i left not to take it personally or worry etc, im not trying to torture anyone i just didnt want to talk to him

but i just invited him over here because im bored of the internet and celebrity gossip tv
probably ill leave tomorrow but i dont wanna go home
i want my old apt back but i dont wanna pay rent

Too many people get diagnosed with bipolar or borderline disorders when depression and erratic behaviour is often caused mainly by the abuse of whatever it is that one is abusing (ie food,alcohol, drugs etc). This causes people to apply whatever mental illness they feel akin to onto themselves, with catastrophic results that can lead to some serious and mind-bothering business.

Before you reach any rushed conclusions, it's safe to say that you ought to find out if there's something that is causing you to suspect that you really are bipolar and you can pin down for whatever reason, and then take it from there to a specialist you feel like trusting and is qualified to be called as such.

This is one of the most sensible things I've read here in a long time.

Whatever the problem you have Cantankarous, just remember. It could be worse, you could be this guy:
























Seriously though, take Sarramkrops advice. He speaketh many truths.

Thank you.