HEE. :)

Hm but for serious!

i didnt really do that crime i said i did

When i was about 7-8 i would get really mad at my sister if we were having a fight so one time i found the black tubing that holds fly screen in and whipped her .

I still cringe and feel sick in my stomach just thinking about it.

These days i dont kill or harm anything, my stomach sinks when i step on a snail.

One night me and a friend of mine came from a party and we were so hammered we broke in to our school, smashed soooo many windows, broke the main door and than later on we keyed some cars parked at the school and I even smashed a carwindow with my elbow. My friend was stupid enough to go back there later that evening and fell asleep on a bench there. The cops didn't arrest him cause they thought noone could possibly be stupid enough to go back to the crimescene after they tore it up.
Anyway, I felt really bad about it the day after. They got surveillance camera's hanging all over now. I felt so lucky we didn't get caught.

I'm definately not proud of it and I can honestly say that was the single most dumbest thing I've ever done in my life.

Hmmm should have posted that in the "dumbest thing you've done when drunk" thread.

Do rapes count?

Sorry, kids.

I'm saving all the terrible things I've done for the novel I'm writing right now.

Hmmm, this is relevant to my interests. Do continue.

Hahahaha amazing, good tactic for any wannabe criminal haha.

The statute of limitations on this has got to be up so why not:

Years ago, when I was in the military, there was a guy in my platoon who's 5 year old daughter got raped by another soldier. Even though it was reported and the rapist eventually got some serious jail time, the father of the girl, like any father would have, wanted to fuck the piece of crap up badly but couldn't for obvious reasons. So he offered me $500 to do it. I did it for free. Gave him a fractured cheekbone and 3 broken ribs along with a bunch of other bruises. Not that anyone tried to hard to solve it, but I was never caught. And no ... I don't feel the slightest bit of regret for doing it and would do it again.

YOU SCUM! YOU SICKEN ME THAT'S JUST OUTRAGEOUS!!!

Just kidding, I would have done the same.

Ha! You got me! :D

I actually got that reaction for real once at work. Someone was sharing a news story about a kid getting molested and everyone was talking trash about what should be done to the guy. So I share my little story and everyone gets real quiet like ... except this one girl who calls me a barbarian. Whatever ... I just added that to my list of "things not to bring up in front of morons at work".

i seem to find these stories funny

This is not something i took part in but i did witness it.

One night when walking home from a party with a group of friends
this guy came across this dead possum and he picked it up by the tail and started swinging it around and smashing it into the ground

he was using it like a puppet and doing a silly voice

i was laughing for a while but eventually it just became weird and i hid in a car.

i got a skull on my jacket

My friends and I paid a hot homeless girl in NYC to let us beat her up

well, you and your friends are a piece of shit. whatever you mean by "beat up".

We went Chris Brown on her ass

you officially have no taste or dignity.
congratulations.

One time when I was little, me and my sister and cousins were playing tag in their basement. I was like 5 and I was it, and my sister (who was like 7) was teasing me. So I ran up to her and pushed her into their wall where their big screen tv was going to go. She was screaming and crying and the bottom of her back was purple for a giant bruise.

I feel bad about it now, and we get along now too