i know all about opiates dear.

listening to surf music and dancing with Lennon (when he isn't busy stuffing his face with bananas).

John Lennon?

Asheville is a great city for a drunk like me. Almost any given weekend you can walk into almost any store that sells beer and wine and they're holding a free tasting. I tried three beers today for free.

You talkin' to me?

So does anybody know if there are any good movies on regular cable tonight (that is, not the premium channels like HBO et al)?

No, Lennon James McAdams IV. Do the math on the number and maybe you'll see why I think your joke is as tired as it is stupid. I'd really appreciate being able to post about my son without you having to make an ass of yourself every time, think we can arrange for that?

If you want to make a funny fun of his name, try calling him "iv" which is the nickname we gave him when he almost died after 5 days and we had to pump drugs into his arm for a month to keep him alive.

Sheesh. OK, OK, I give. In fact, I'll give you the name of my dog, Chipper, so you can make fun of my dog, if that makes you feel better. Go ahead. It's a dumb name. He's named after Chipper Jones, and he IS good with a ball.

Saw something pretty fantastic at the record store. A box lP set of get yr yas yas out. Includes the B.B. King and Tina Turner songs plus 4 or 5 Stones songs not on the original LP.

The price tag was pretty fantastic too. Almost 90 fucking dollars.

Making fun of someone's dog is as off limits for me as making fun of someone's children.

I'm sure you'll present something I can mock without even trying soon enough.

I am glad my grandpa's first name happened to be the same as the best Beatle if it had to be the same as any of them. Being born in 1967, I had to put up with it rather a lot myself, and I've never even gone by my first name.

My neighbor's last name was Paul, actually, and he took the ribbing good-naturedly. I'd say, "Oh, like McCartney, eh?" And he'd laugh.

So 'splain to me exactly how it is that you perceived I was making fun of your son? Why are you so sensitive about someone inquiring about it resembling a Beatles' name?

You didn't inquire, you made a dumb joke that I merely pointed out I'd heard about 300,000 times before. You got defensive about my calling a dumb joke dumb and indicated you don't think people who find your jokes dumb could possibly have a sense of humor.

In space nobody can hear you scream, but on the internet you can't hear nobody laughing at your jokes.

Fair enough. So it's about my dumb sense of humor. It's nto really anything about me making fun of your son or your son's name. Which I didn't do. But which you've indicated I have.

And to be honest, since I don't keep track of Dead Air's family life, I thought Lennon was a cat!

Also fair enough. If I named a cat after a Beatle, I do hope I won't be watching Sesame Street with him though. I'm sick, but not that sick.

You... wouldn't let your cat... watch TV with you!? What kind of person wouldn't let his cat watch TV with him? What kind of warped person are you?

Watching TV with a cat right now, BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING HEART.

Dare I ask... Is your cat named after a Beatle?

I might nickname my dog Ono.

It's not my cat, I just had to grab one to watch some TV with real quick as part of my outpouring of sympathy and love to all cats everywhere hatefully deprived of cathode rays.

That said, I just told you that I was trying to show this cat love. Why would I even associate with anyone that would name their cat after a Beatle and bring such jokes upon it? It's tantamount to abuse.

one of my cats is named sir george harrison. no lie. i don't call him that though.

There is so much cat hate in this thread that I feel physically ill.

i love my cats but theyre fucking assholes
i also didn't name him that

That's the best part about cats! They're huge assholes! They simply don't give a shit, they often don't need or want your affection, and you can watch Andrew 'Dice' Clay stand-up with them on TV.

yes.

That's what everybody says about cats, and yet they always seem to want me to devote every moment of my existence to giving them affection. Women are actually easier to please, which is saying a lot.

If it's a lady cat, just put a damp Q-Tip in its vag and hold it there for a second. After that they shouldn't be needy for at least a few days. Just like a human woman.

girl cats fucking suck

i've seen so much horse cock this year... its not funny. other animals i can hardly tell the sex of... because i don't sit there looking betwixt their legs. but a horse lets you know

That's what I'd hoped, but all it got me was bite wounds on my penis.

trying to think of another sentence where i can use betwixt

amerikangod slid his cock betwixt davenotdead's luscious ass cheeks, like a plump ballpark frank on a hairy bun.

i knew that was coming

When two people are deeply in love they develop a psychic link of sorts.

once again, your emo side is showing.

Oh god, I just texted my virtual dreamgirl and wrote the exact phrase "whatcha doin" without realizing I took it from this thread until I went back here.

first i thought about being disgusted, then i thought about repping u. then i read the sentence again, and i'm just caught in between. it's not lacking in imagery, for what its worth

corrected. he gives you an opportunity, and you're not even paying attention.

Is that the side of me that is most chubby and prone to wearing a button down shirt with a skinny tie? Cuz all I wear is stained Black Flag tees.

You should rep me for putting words to your most esoteric dreams.

we are made for each other

It's not just words he's dreaming of, kind god. I think Dave wants a good round of applause happening between those butt-cheeks.