Thats swine flu you tit

I had one too many last night so apologies for any wackness...I remember chatting some barmaid up and some gay blowke up the toon

<333

<3...And i got fined on the fucking metro. I was so pissed i forgot to buy a ticket. I even went to mcdonalds and bought some chips to get change to buy a fucking ticket and still forgot!! I paid the fine on the station (didn't think you could do that like) but they let uz off with 2 quid though ;-) 18 bastard quid...

I'm drunk talking about condoms with satan

Hmm them mint ones are shit! they always split. implant is better ;-)

ribbed condoms are freaky

I've had no complaints. They're all a bit dodgy though aren't they, feeling and sensitivity is lost plus they're not really reliable..

and the thin ones are like WAT.

They're Supposed to increase sensitivity but any johnny hat decreases it. My advice: get an injection or implant then ya don't have to think about it and it feels better :-)

I'm off for a nice long bubble jacuzzi...goodbye hangover

o haaaaaaaayyyy

we're on the phone!!!

FUCK YEAHhhhhhhhhh

sheepfuckin'

I'm dronk

holy eyebrows batman

kate moss wannabe?

cheetos

_______ fuck fat girls
_______ I eat hipsters for breakfast
_______ hates life

omfg

that's her

wtf is with the headband

I wanna kick that bitch in the throat

are those girls in the millionaires?

WTF THE PHONE JUST DIED

it's PLUGGED IN

gay gay gay gay gay

DKJFHGTKRJHTA,FLKdfkghk

that would properly describe the noise i just made

I literally yelled FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

kelly clarkson has such a big mouth

HAHA she looks like meatloaf

for some reaosn I really like the word prophylactic and yes I had to spell check that word.