The funniest thing about your reply is, you're plainly guilty of the very things you're lamely criticising me for. Thanks for the hypocrisy.

I find Porky witty. And attractive.

KIS- Ok, you're right. I agree with you. You can fuck off now.

Same. I'd get enthusiastic breasts just to make you happy. And make you cakes stuffed with clean vaginas for you to take to work.

I would make sure you knew how much I appreciated those enthusiastic breasts each and every day. I'd call you from work just to compliment you on your cakes. And when I'd get home it'd be a Max Hardcore style lovefest so true and so brutal that one could legitimately call social services for the neighbors' kids.

Awesome.
On our quiet Sundays in we would lay on our bed, or our ''little love cave'', like you'd affectionately call it, slowly stroking each other's hair and giggling at our ever creative sexual gymnastics. All this while foreign subtitled pornography was playing on our bedroom's DVD player.

Me neither love, me neither

Hahahaha I took just a small dab of wasabi and threw myself around the room. I couldn't imagine taking a large quantity of it.

think i had wasabi nuts once and swore to never eat them again. sucks to be hyper sensitive to strong flavours.

It would be really, really hard to taste disgusting food, let alone eat it.
I had a dream once that I had to eat my friend's booger or I would be shot.

well, what did you do?

Thank God, I woke up.

I never told my friend about the dream. How gay would that be.

One correction: The 'little love cave' would be the bottom's well-used anus, while the top's intruding dong would be the 'Papa Bear.' If the anus is thoroughly cream-pied it changes from 'little love cave' to 'honeypot.' Also: if the 'little love cave' and its environs haven't been trimmed lately it is referred to as the 'briar patch,' the dong as 'Brer Bear,' and the cream-pied anus 'tar baby thrown into the briar patch.'

Otherwise what you've written is less so an accurate representation and more so true fucking prophecy.

one time i ate a blob of wasabi in one go while everyone else at the table stared in what i'm going to pretend was complete and utter awe.

That sounds dreadful. Did you do it purposely or just didn't know it's effects? I was in mid-sentence with my employer and coworker and my eyes just went to tears and the worst head pain I've ever felt.