im buying plane tickets for this christmas because few people travel on that day & so it's dirt cheap. "thank god" for stupid holidays! :D

Oh God! In Fact That House made me hate Xmas!!!

Actually we drink a lot and watch shit tv same as everyone else. Oh, and we eat children from the local nativity pageant.

This will do a lot for inter-faith understanding. See everyone? The Jews are just the same as us. Why, they even eat mawling children, just like us! And they get to wear really cool hats. You go Judaism! Woo!

Listen, if some fucker doesn't know irony when he/she/it sees it then they can fuck off. Jews are not some weird freak sideshow, they are cunts, lovers, musicians, artists, chimney sweeps etc same as everyone else. And if that had been Shylock's speech then we'd all have been a lot less bored by Shakespeare in school. Ha ha, he said 'cunt'.

Well I for one love Christmas.

I am christmas.

The problem with irony is that if you use irony in response to something that was ironic, and a further post is possibly being ironic, but also possibly not being ironic in an ironic fashion, or even, ironically, not being ironic in an ironic fashion, then one loses trace of which was irony, which was serious, and which was serious irony. Ironically, I have no idea what I'm saying any more, which is probably more bathetic than anything else.

No, you're bored.

With two kids to my account,one rather demanding job and an often irate ex-wife i have very little to get bored about,sweet soul.You seem like quite an aggressive gipsy by the tone of your post.Am i wrong?

Porkmarras?

I'm sorry??

Nice work sir.

Incidentally, if you're step-father Christmas, does that mean that I'm getting two lots of presents this year?

I love you more than the real father Christmas. Don't tell him though. But that fat bastard hasn't replied to a single one of my letters. AND the fucker keeps stealing my brandy.

No dahling, I was agreeing with you, we're sound. We are going to abandon these humourless fuckers and sail to Cheltenham. 'Bathetic' is a great word, well done you. (And i actually know what it means too, well done me)

Aye. Although I'm more partial to Irish whiskey. Marlboro reds are my brand. And if you could introduce me to some college girls, that'd be ace.

Thanks Step-Father Christmas [I'm going to hyphenate it even if you're not]

Excellent. You win! I didn't realise there was anyone who understood proper wanker's words. I shall use them more often, methinks...

You are welcome Glice.I see we are one articulate little boy and Step Father Christmas likes little boys like that.More whiskey for this adorable little brat and NOW!!

well nothing i have seen or heard has changed my mind. ban this terrible festival i say.

ok tell me a joke and i might change my mind haha.