i dont want you having dirty sex on my floor

Well I would, but er, that goes without saying. :p And by accommodate, I don't mean have my evil way with them. Honest.
(God, if they ever fall for that, I am so in...)

there are a few people i would accomodate with nary a doubt.

no way, fuck off assholes.

i don't even let my friends go inside my house, let alone stay here.

but don't worry, i could accomodate you somewhere, i have friends who run 24/7 free hotels but they call them "where i live".

in fact, if one of you jerks comes here and asks me to stay over, i'd probably call someone here and i would also go along to my friend's for the night

I bet you don't even let you in Everyneurotic Mansions sometimes! :D;)

ran out of places to hide the corpses?

haha

maybe.

I once ended up crashing at Porky's after I stupidly forget to catch the last tube and bus home. The poor sod still has nightmares about that, but I did buy him a bottle of vodka to seal the deal.

sometimes, sometimes i want to kick myself out of my own house.


i could squeeze them a bit more (what are they gonna do? bitch about it being too crammed?), the real problem is the smell. those taxi cab air freshners can take so much stench.

that and i don't want any of you fuckers near my shellac futurist lp. i'd take you drinking until the break of dawn and call you a cab to the airport.

ARE YOU - visiting London?
DO YOU - fancy a place to crash?
CAN YOU - endure several tiresome hours of your host playing you endless amount of vinyl/CDs that you'd rather chew your leg off than listen to?

Then come to Melly Towers!

Comfort - Ha ha ha.
Atmosphere - Smoky
Ambience - Fliddy
Customer Satisfaction - None.

As long as there's alcohol available, it sounds a lot better than other places I've crashed.
:rolleyes:

We have alcohol and ciggies galore here. And Pringles.

PRINGLES?! I'm in!

sign me up!

Right, we have 2 here for the Melly Endurance, er, Experience. Any more on board?

You had me with Pringles.

Also I have decided that I would let fellow boardies crash at my place
AFTER a rigorous screening process. I can't have anyone who would
steal or damage my formidable Snoopy collection.

I love snoopy!!!!!!!

Wow, Melly! You've actually met the Porkster? Is he as nice as he seems here?

terrible one:You are then a person of discriminating taste, and are invited to apply for a stay at Casa De Benningfield (or whatever the hell) whenever the need arises.