I haven't even been doing anything. I've just been sitting and eating. I'm sort of frightened.

I only am when I have to go to the doctor, but I haven't been in like 2 years. Every time they want to find something wrong and they never do. All they can tell is to "eat more" because I'm below malnourished on the BMI chart.

Maybe you should take roids.

No kids and wife to strangle

Yeah, you're right. I couldn't imagine you as the "Son, I am disappoint" dude.

I'm no Glenn Danzig either

It doesn't work.

No, not at all.

I rofl'd

with waffles

And sporks

Sporks are about as useful as wide-ruled paper.

Sporks are about as useful as a dvd rewinder

Billy Mays could have sold thousands of those.

Billy Mays could sell a horse carcass.

Billy Mays could have made Don Magic Juan turn tricks.

Billy Mays and Esteban in the same room would've caused a nuclear explosion

Billy Mays could have sodomized your mother and sold her his legal services int he proceeding rape hearings.

Billy Mays should have bought a Jack LaLanne Power Juicer.

Bastard is 94 years old

Shit doesn't work on concussions