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Yeah, same hurr.
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Life Got You Down?
If you've been a little depressed lately and have contemplated partaking in the bliss of death, here are some suggestion on how to kill yourself. Even if you don't use these exclusive royalty free suicide methods, remember to do it as creatively as possible. Don't be boring and just take sleeping pills, go out with style and flare. All these methods require some planning but don't let that dissuade you. Your life must be pretty pathetic if you're killing yourself. Why not leave a legacy? http://www.a1b2c3.com/suilodge/metfun1.htm |
101 Most Clever, Disturbing Ways to Kill Yourself!!
1. Slit your wrists. 2. Drink cleaning supplies. 3. Put your dad's rifle in your mouth and shoot. 4. Cut yourself along several major arteries and slowly bleed to death. 5. Fill the bathtub up with hot water and get in. Go underwater & breathe until I say stop. 6. Give yourself a homemade tattoo with toxic silver pen. 7. Fill the bathtub up. Grab a toaster & plug it in. Get in the bathtub and bring the toaster with you. Push down the button & enjoy! 8. Boil several gallons of water on the stove and "accidentally" spill it all on yourself. 9. Bash your head in with a hammer. 10. Get an axe from the woodpile & split yourself in half. 11. Use your telekinetic powers to make the house fall apart. 12. Tease the elevator by not letting it close until it buzzes loudly. Stand in the door's way and let it close. 13. Break a mirror. Take two sharp pieces of the glass and shove them in your eyes, hard and deep. 14. Shove a Chef's knife up your butt. 15. Kill someone else and plead for death by lethal injection. 16. Break a bottle of wine on a table and shove it in your stomach. 17. Have your best friend run you over with a steamroller. 18. Turn on the iron until water dances on surface. Put it on several places on your body, keeping it in each place for at least 45 seconds. 19. Jump off a building, aiming carefully to impale yourself on a lamppost. 20. Drive a wooden stake in your heart. 21. Induce vomiting until you black out and slip into a coma. This coma should last for several months, in which time your family will certainly decide to pull the plug. 22. Put your pinky, as well as any other digits that will fit, into an electrical socket. 23. Purposely catch your clothing in the escalator at a local mall and fight off anyone who tries to help. Enjoy the ride! 24. Swallow vanilla bath beads. 25. Drop a lit match down your throat. 26. Eat three tubes of toothpaste - and I'm not talking about trial size. 27. Hang yourself in your closet with an electrical cord. 28. Unbend a coat hanger and slowly & carefully shove it up your nose. 29. Crash a car into a department store window displaying a nativity scene. Merry Christmas! 30. Lodge your head in the toilet bowl and flush mercilessly. 31. Get your hand caught in the CD-ROM drive and attempt to cut it off with a dull pocketknife. 32. Make a pipe bomb and blow up your house with you inside, of course. 33. Stuff toilet paper down your throat until you choke. 34. Eat baby powder. 35. Eat deodorant. 36. Take a walk in the ghetto with a giant boom box blasting Vanilla Ice. 37. Anger a cannibal. 38. Drown yourself in a spoon full of water. 39. Get a friend to throw a few CDs Frisbee-style at your stomach and throat. 40. Swallow fifteen razor blades. 41. Drink 2 bottles of cough syrup. 42. Lock yourself in a room. After you've eaten the carpet and peeled the paint off the walls for a snack, you'll eventually starve. 43. Swerve into the left rear wheels of a moving transfer truckÆ’on your bike. 44. Break a b46. Piss off O.J. Simpson. 47. Eat a string of Christmas Tree lights. 48. Give yourself a million paper cutsÆ’if the paper cuts don't kill you, the counting will. 49. Nail yourself to the side of a federal building. 50. Scalp yourself. If you're not dead, make photocopies. 51. Cry your eyes outÆ’literally. 52. Burn plastic and breathe in the toxic fumes. 53. Charge into a big screen TV. 54. Lag behind when participating in a Bull Run. 55. Walk around in downtown New Jersey with a Target store shirt on. 56. Smash your head in the safe door again & again & againÆ’ 57. Spray a bottle of air freshener up your nose and inhale at the same time. 58. Eat a dog with heartworms raw. 59. Strategically place yourself in the middle of a very busy intersection at rush hour during daylight savings time while wearing a tight, black jumpsuit, being ever so careful to hit every car you see. 60. Go to a horse race and jump out in front of the leading horse screaming at the top of your lungs, "I'm a pony! I'm a pony!" 61. Make like Sonny Bono when on a skiing trip. 62. Get run over by an ostrich. 63. Get naked and lay on 12 150-watt light bulbs, then flip the switch. 64. Cut off all your fingers then write a ten-page report on "Polyester versus Cotton Fabrics" with the stubs. 65. Get pregnant and then have your mother perform an emergency C-section just for kicks. 66. Jam a toothbrush in your bellybutton. 67. Brush your teeth with a MACH 3 razor. 68. Drill a hole in your head. 69. Find a huge pine tree. Cut it down with a chainsaw while standing in its falling path. 70. Skinny-dip in a shark tank with your favorite rubber ducky. 71. Drive with a rabid monkey in your back seat. 72. Play NASCAR with an unsuspecting fellow driver. 73. Jump off the balcony in a school auditorium. 74. Smash your head through a wooden door, making sure you get plenty of splinters. 75. Jump in the way of a moving subway train. 76. Drip hot wax all over your body, then light matches and light your feet on fire. The flames will rise and consume your entire body, but before you do that, make sure you drip hot wax in your eyes & let it harden. 77. Do back flips in a mosh pit. 78. Attempt to leap tall buildings in a single bound. 79. Jump out of a moving bus window and do shoulder-rolls across the highway until you get run over. 80. Always use the wrong tool for the job. 81. Float on your back in the Anaconda River and wait. 82. Get in a pool with piranhas and have them tear off your flesh bit by bit, eating you alive. 83. Wedge yourself in the doggy-entrance on the garage door and have a friend press the "garage open" button. 84. Use a chain saw to cut out pictures. 85. Shove a TV antenna in one ear & out the other. 86. Strangle yourself with your best necklace. 87. Bite your arm and suck & swallow the blood. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. 88. Perform self-quadruple bypass surgery. attery open and pour it into a glass of Dr. Pepper and drink it. 45. Live on top of an active volcano. 89. Take out your own spleen, cook it for 2 minutes in the microwave, and eat it. 90. Cut yourself up and feed as much of you as possible to the family dog. 91. Cut off your limbs and put them in the crock-pot for your family to find. If your crock-pot isn't large enough, put extra flesh in the freezer for later. 92. Swan dive into the 10-gallon fish tank. 93. Give yourself a buzz-cut with bush shears. 94. Gather up a group of friends to push all your pressure points at the same time. 95. Make believe you're in a psychiatric facility with padded walls when you're really in a steel cage. 96. Straddle a neon sign. Don't let go, no matter what people tell you. 97. Go swimming in an oil spill. Don't forget to open your eyes under water! 98. Smash your porcelain "Precious Moments" dolls in the middle of the street and consume the large pieces left over. 99. Roll around nude in the street at noon. 100. Drink paint. Eat the stick you stirred the paint with. Drink paint thinner to wash it down. 101. Take all the pills in your medicine cabinet, along with at least one shot of every alcoholic beverage known to man and take a little nap. Don't bother waking up. |
I am curious about a few of these... especially 25. Drop a lit match down your throat.
Surely, that wouldn't kill you?... Also, the very next one... 26. Eat three tubes of toothpaste - and I'm not talking about trial size. Excuse my ignorance here, but that surely wouldn't kill you.. would it? 41. Drink 2 bottles of cough syrup. Well, I know from experience that this isn't true! |
1) try soaking your head in a bucket of ammonia. in 5 minutes, if you are
still alive, repeat as necessary till dead... 2) cut your balls off (if you have them) 3) cut your head off with a razor blade and go into extreme ecstacy 4) drink a gallon of JD with a dab of Nitrogrycerin and jump up and down vigirously 5) fart in a balloon and light a match 6) eat the stuff between your toes with a teaspoon of pepper and a drop of vinegar 7) fart in front of the meanest, fattest, teacher while bending over to pick up the pencil that you mistakenly (yeah, right!) dropped 8) eat shit and die..... 9) try inhaling a fart right out of your own asshole.... 10) fuck Ronald Reagan- 11) or his wife..... 12) try to do the running long jump over the Hudson river 13) or maybe try skydiving underwater...... 14) try to katch the first nuclear missle headed towards the U.S.A. 15) sit on a pitchfork 16) cement yourself into the Great Wall of China 17) attach yourself to the Good Year Blimp 18) buy a $400 piece of software and then find it up on the AE the next day 19) plug your ass with a cork and stand at the edge of a cliff and fart 20) slide down a banister with a long, fat spike at the end 21) slide down a razor blade 22) fuck a slut that has a pair of scisssors up her cunt 23) take a bath with 1 (or 2) fingers in an electrical socket 24) sit on an Exacto knife and spin! 25) cross a highway blindfolded 26) inspect the Space Shuttle's engines during takeoff 27) do whatever your parents say... 28) roll down the Empire State Building's stairway in a sleeping bag 29) sleep late on a Saturday.... 30) not seeing that bullet heading straight between your eyes 31) "Hey look! What's that knife in my stomach?" 32) "No, no please don't! Please don't push me off this ----", smack! splash! gargle... thump. 33) eat that cake that's been sitting in the fridge for 2 months 34) "Hey Jack, eat that colony of green stuff moving across your plate!" 35) Stick a straw in a septic tank and take a sip. 36) try skiing over a tree (or around it, or under it, or into it) 37) try katching a spiked boomerang... 38) try picking your brain via your nose... 39) squeeze yourself into a microwave (and don't forget to turn it on [duh!]) 40) listen to E.F. Hutton 41) leap off a 20 story building onto a sharpened steel sewage grating 42) sleep at the bottom of an elevator shaft 43) stick your hand ,or foot if desired, in a food processor 44) get your ear caught in the spokes of your bike while riding down a hill 45) stick your hand in a paper shredder 46) have your car compacted at a junkyard, and give the guy a buck to let you sleep in it 47) sit on a scorpion 48) get your head caught in a beehive 49) sleep in your washing machine (or dryer for extra fluffyness) 50) loose the only key to your father's brand new Rolls Royce 51) sleigh ride off your roof 52) straddle a 'No Parking' sign 53) drink a gallon of gasoline and have some tabasco sauce 54) fall asleep at the bottom of a garbage incinerator [you know, the shutes you throw the garbage down if you live in a high rise] 55) skydive into an exploding volcano (if you live through this, contact me on the Circus BBS 201-592-0456) 56) cement yourself into the middle of a highway 57) volunteer to be a subway brake 58) light a smoke bomb and swallow.!$%&*!^%*#&$*?%!@.? 59) drag yourself along the road, hanging on the back of a Mack truck 60) wait at the bottom of the Empire State Building while your friend drops a spear off the top, straight through the center of your head (and the rest of you) 61) glue yourself to the way bottom of an ocean liner [while it's going]... 62) lounge in a pool obNasoline and light that big fat cigar in your mouth 63) climb up the telefone pole and lick the electric wires 64) look in the mirror [ha ha! just kiddin'!] 65) go to Russia 66) slingshot yourself into the Sun [not quite..] 67) put some iodine crystals in a whoopy cushion - sit on it! 68) volunteer to be a nuclear warhead 69) <- eat your girlfriend out when she uses a sulfuric acid douche 70) eat a piece of Uranium 71) lick a scientist's chemical lab table before he cleans up! 72) get your nose caught in an exhaust pipe while the car is running 73) go swimming while wearing Mr.T's heavy jewelery around thy neck 74) run a razor blade down the middle of your face! 75) take a chainsaw, cut your head into thirds 76) get caught on the nose of the Concorde 77) in your science class, turn on all the gas outlets, light a match 78) get drunk and be processed through a doughnut molding factory 79) volunteer to rent out your head as a soccer ball 80) eat your school cafeteria's poison of the day 81) slurp nuclear waste 82) stab yourself in 100 (and 1) places 83) try to swallow a (King) Cobra 84) get your arm caught in the wheel of a train 85) your running 40 m.p.h. - your foot katches onto a bloody sewage grating - you trip and fall - 40 m.p.h. - on your face! 86) bend both your knees and elbows - backwards! [snap!] 87) ski off a cliff 88) shuv a pipebomb up your ass 89) fart and smell up a crowded elevator [watch the reaction!] - announce that you let it go - kiss your ass goodbye! 90) cut your circulation off with a giant Band-Aid (tm) 91) mail yourself to the smallest P.O. box in the country 92) pick a fight with Sylvester Stallone 93) try to catch a Roadrunner 94) beat the shit out of yourself [take a spaz!] 95) you take a final relaxing dip in a pool of gasoline - you hang yourself from a branch of a tree - light the bonfire under you! 96) tie each of your ankles to the bumper of 2 cars and let them back out in different directions - Slowly! 97) go to your local deli and by mistake put your best hand on the meat slicer, and of course turn it on - press down firmly as the slices of your hand fall neatly into the palm of the other hand 98) try writing this G-Phile 99) put it this way - commit suicide! 100) Do all of the above [in order!] |
Here are some other fun ways to die:
Hanging Yourself From A Sidewalk Curb! Decapitation By Way Of HBO! Water-And-Cayenne-Pepper Concoction Overdose! Eardrum Explosion Via Upped Bass On Godsmack Song! Spontaneous Combustion During A Graduation Speech! Eaten By A Venetian Blind! Dissection By Ian McKellen's Cold, Steel-Blue Eyes! Eye Strain! And A Lot Of It! Two Words: Intramural Whaling! Pushing Your Roommate To The Brink Of Insanity Then Screwing His Brother With The Koran! Forgetting The Function Of The Conjunction! Traveling A Thousand Miles To Destroy An Evil Ring By Throwing It In The Volcano Of Mount Doom Like Tom Hanks In "Joe VS. The Volcano" But Instead Of It Throwing You Out Unrealistically Like The Movie The Lava Instantly Eats Through Your Searing Skin And Corrodes Your Bones As Your Last Thought Of Realized Foolishness Is Burned Away Like So Many Botched Microwave Popcorn Attempts! Stabbing Yourself With A Ked! Dressing Up Like The Joker And Challenging Everyone In Spanish Harlem To A Dick-Size Contest! Tripping Onto Howard Stern's Nose! Starve In Front Of The Hostess Foods Inc. Headquarters! Three Words: Really Old Age! Finger Infections On A Universal Scale! Dying Twice (If You Can Manage It Somehow)! Vicadin Mixed With Flamethrower! Nine Words: Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets! Carpel Tunnel Of The Cerebral Lobe! Swallowing Niagra Falls! Electrocution By Way Of Swallowing Niagra Falls And A Plugged-In Toaster! Carbonating Your Own Blood At A PepsiCo Tour! Tiki Torch Deathmatch Against Your Boss And His Favorite Middle-Aged Celebrity! 9,000 Orgasms! Dying Three Times (If You Can Manage Two Times, This Should Be A Piece Of Cake)! |
Eating styrofoam [expands and bursts your stomach.]
Drinking bleach [corrodes your insides, burns your organs to pieces.] Jumping in front of a fast moving object [trains are good for this.] Blocking all the ventiliation and turning your carbon monoxide oven onto full [absorbs oxygen and slowly drowns you] Taking barbituates after placing a plastic bag around your head [sends you to sleep and the bag then causes you to asphyxiate] Drinking so heavily you pass out, spew in your sleep and choke on it [a la Hendrix] Have someone wrench your heart directly from your chest with a crowbar. |
Jesus Christ died for our sins,
And if you don`t sin, Then he died for nothing. Do it for Jesus |
Try leaving Iraq towards kuwait during the gulf scramble that was issued.
Dress up as an elephant in noel edmonds back yard Ask Ian Huntley to give you a bath. |
I think the best way to kill yourself, was done by someone who I knew.
He hung himself outside his house which was right next to the main street the night before halloween. He hung there for 4 days before people wondered why the halloween decoration was still there and checked it out. Nearly everyone in the town had seen it and had remarked on how awesomely real it looked. |
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward.
Whoever cannot take care of themself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I Live, I will kill you, If I Die, You are forgiven." Such is the Rule of Honor. |
I ate all the pills in my medicine cabinet and a bottle of whiskey and all i got was the stupid effin nurses telling me why i had so much to live for...i was pissed i will have to try another one on that list up there. oh and wrist cutting doesn't work either i cut pretty deep then passed out.
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10) Bungee jumping tied to a concrete block.
9) Soak your clothes in gasoline and then walk through the company's Smoking Area. 8) Try to jump across the Grand Canyon on a motorized scooter. 7) Move during the Knife Throwing portion of the Magician's act. 6) Jumping into a vat of beer at the Anheuser-Busch brewery. 5) Rollerblading onto a Nascar Race Track during a race. 4) Rolling in an office chair down a hill into oncoming traffic. 3) Sliding naked on a SlipNSlide that has glass all the way down it. 2) Wearing a "KLAN RULES" T-Shirt into South Central Los Angeles (Wait...that belongs on the How to Get Yourself Killed List). 1) Listen to MMMBOP on your stereo headphones until your ears bleed! |
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If you are seeking easy ways to kill yourself, do not do it. The pain you are feeling is understandable but changing. We all get to a point, if we are honest, where we feel that maybe we cannot go on any more. The pressures and disappointments of this life can leave you empty.
When you are emptied of everything that you have to give this is the point where you may want to stop living. Things may not have worked out the way you thought they would, everything has gone wrong. You do not like yourself very much; this is the point where living does not make much sense to you. You may be feeling why should you go on. The answer is that when you are emptied you see the world through a lie. It seems that nothing could change the situation that you are in but that is a lie. Life changes every second nothing stays the same, your body is changing right now but you do not even realize it. Each second is a new revelation. If you are seeking easy ways to kill yourself you believed the lie that things do not change. Everything changes nothing in the universe does not have a movement in it. Amazingly even your bad situation is changing right now it is just that you cannot see it. It may seem hopeless but this is also a lie, there is always hope if you give it a little time. You have been emptied by these world disappointments but you can be filled again. The lie is a bad life or situation will not and cannot get better. You need to fill back and be healed. Medication can help but do not stop there you can go further and heal. If you need to do take medication or call a suicide hotline if this is an emergency. There is also good news if you are seeking suicide help. There is an answer to this problem that goes beyond the traditional methods of medication and therapy that has been helping those who need suicide help. It is a deeper root revelation that has been helping and curing the suicidal. You will learn why you are suicidal. It is basically deep rooted revealing that opens you to the real reason why you have suicide thoughts. If you are seeking easy ways to kill yourself you must get help fast. Do not play with this feeling, there is a new way that is scientifically proven to stop the bad thoughts. |
What are quick painless ways to kill yourself?
i have to do research on it for an essay. list serious ways though because my teacher said that he'll take points off for jokes. thanks.
"hmm i dont think this is for a essay i dont think anyone should anwser somehow i would feel bad if u killed urself over advice i gave" it wouldn't matter either way. IF it wasn't for an essay i'd do it anyway even if no one gave advice, but thats only IF it wasn't for an essay.. |
As a Ordained Minister i am here to let you know about A True Painless Method of Suicide (Easiest and Simplest Painless Suicide Method)-最簡單﹐最容易﹐無痛的自殺方法
How to Commit Suicide (A Painless Suicide) Are you looking for a painless method to end your life; a quick way to commit suicide; and/or a clean way to die? If so, you have come to the right place! 1) Methods like slitting wrists, cutting throat, poisons, suffocation, jumping off a cliff or tall building are not painless methods of suicide. Not even inhaling carbon monoxide. Why? Because the real pain comes after death, being burnt eternally in hell. The Bible teaches that all nonbelievers are destined for hell. Most people misunderstood that once a person dies, that's the end of life. This is not true. All non-believers will be resurrected in the last days (Dan 12:2, Acts 24:15, John 5:28, 29) and punished by burning in hell eternally (Matthew 25:46). A true believer does not commit suicide for humans were made in God's image, thus God disapproves suicide 2) True Painless Death- Would it be nice to put your life behind you, and start all over again? Would it be nice to start with a clean slate? When we put our faith in God, and accept Christ as our savior (Acts 4:12), we become a new person ( 2 Corin 5:17, Roman 6:4-5). All your sins and transgressions are forgiven. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (to die for our sins), that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16). 3) How to Be Born Again and be a New Person- The Bible teaches that 'if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from death, you will be saved (Romans 10:9) that whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame (Romans 10:11). To a non-Christian, it may seem that Christianity is condemning him or her, by saying that the only way to be saved is to embrace Jesus Christ (Acts 4:12). However, before you come to this conclusion, please realize what Christ had done for you. He died for your sins as well as mine through a torturous death so that we can be saved. Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship with God. The following are a few facts about Christianity 1) It is the only 'religion' that God comes to you (Christ came and died for our sins), instead you trying to reach God by being good enough 2) It is the only 'religion' that you are accepted not because of how good you are, but what Christ had done on the cross. All you have to do is to repent from your sins and accept Him 3) It is the only fair 'religion' that both the love and judgment of God are served, with Christ dying for our sins! (sins have to be punished - Judgment, but the punishment was bore by Christ instead of us - Love) If you have decided to accept Christ, would you let us know so that we can pray for you? Important: People who are suicidal may have serious depression and / or chemical imbalance that need immediate professional attention. Please contact your physician as well as other professionals listed below immediately. American Academy of Pediatrics 141 Northwest Point Boulevard P.O. Box 927 Elk Grove Village, Illinois 60007 American Association of Suicidology 2459 South Ash Street Denver, Colorado 80222 National Committee of Youth Suicide Prevention 666 Fifth Avenue, 13th Floor New York, New York 10103 (212) 957-9292 National Depressive and Manic Depressive Association P.O. Box 753 Northbrook, Illinois 60062 National Suicide Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-784-2433 Source(s): Jesus Christ |
Pills aren't painless no matter what anyone says.
I took 96 aspirin and the doctor told me that it would have taken two more days of excruciating pain to actually rid myself than the three hours I sat through. Afterwards they pumped my stomach and I could only drink LiquidCharcoal. Drinking the LiquidCharcoa was the worst part. Hanging yourself isn't as painless as you think it would be. You'd have to hang a loose noose around your neck and jump from a very high distance to break your neck. And even then there is no garuntee that it will kill you immediately. Just kicking over the stool leaves you to suffocate and creates a nasty scratch if someone cuts you down in time, and trust me there will be time. Slitting your wrists hurts more than I can describe. And if you don't remember down the street not across the road, well you're just going to be in a lot of pain. And your blood flow may not be fast enough for it to even kill you in a hour. Overdosing feels like the best and worst high of your life. Depends on how close you are to dying as to when the best starts. Or if it even does start at all. Fire, just ouch. I can't think of a painless way. Sorry. |
– Suicide isn’t the goal society or your parents had hoped for you, but you’ve set the bar because you can think independently and have enough self-confidence to believe in your decision. My opinion though, is that suicide isn’t the best way to die. My preferred method of execution is either old age, or being taxed to death, generously and patriotically supporting the needs of your community and your country. Because you have little time remaining, allow me to give you a friendly tip to save you some of that precious time. Suicide is severely similar to murder. If this how-to document doesn’t give you the answers you’re seeking, don’t spend your time Googling “painless ways to commit murder.” Murderers are an ill-bred lot who are unlikely to be concerned about the amount of pain they inflict on their victims. Generally speaking, they lack the typing skills necessary to create web pages due to their possession of itchy trigger-fingers, hands cramping from clutching knives too tightly, or suffering of pulled muscles caused by throwing murder weapons into rivers.
A good method of implementing your imminent demise is to make yourself a target of assassination. Choosing this technique, you’ll avoid the nuisance involved with having to obtain any tools which would otherwise be required. In addition to that benefit, opting to permit capable, professional assassins to plan the details and logistics in matters regarding the imposition of death is often a wise decision. Begin investigating high-profile politicians. Conduct your research through legal channels, please (I can’t be held responsible for what you do or what I write). You’ll need to look for something hidden, some skeleton not yet released for public viewing, something for which they haven’t yet been caught or apologized. Common things for which to look: sex-related or money-related activities, illegal drugs or illegally-obtained pharmaceuticals, something to do with toilets and honey, or how well their pastor conducts religious services. If viable blackmail material can’t be discovered, consider bluffing. Call your Congressperson; inform him or her that you’re a registered voter, and that you’ve recently acquired evidence of who conspired in the assassination plot of John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Within sixty seconds your doorbell will ring. From that moment, you’ll have approximately three seconds to decide whether to proceed with your plan or jump through the nearest window. If you live on or above the second floor, emergency egress through your window is not the best choice in your current medical condition, however, it will provide a better chance of surviving than answering the door carrying a friendly and hospitable demeanor. To elaborate – your surprise guests haven’t come from the high school loaded with candy bars to sell. There really are no truly painless ways to commit suicide. After you kill yourself, people who knew and loved you will live on in pain. One may argue that because they’d be experiencing emotional pain, suicide would be physically painless, however, I believe that to be a weak argument. If, on the other hand, you feel everyone hates you, I hope you found this handy survival guide informative, and that it helps you kill yourself in a pleasant and joyful manner. Don’t forget to hit the light switch, power down your computer, and visit your friends, family, bank, employer, doctor, and your local law enforcement agency to say goodbye. |
IS IT distressing to experience consciousness slipping away or something people can accept with equanimity? Are there any surprises in store as our existence draws to a close? These are questions that have plagued philosophers and scientists for centuries, and chances are you've pondered them too occasionally. None of us can know the answers for sure until our own time comes, but the few individuals who have their brush with death interrupted by a last-minute reprieve can offer some intriguing insights. Advances in medical science, too, have led to a better understanding of what goes on as the body gives up the ghost.
Death comes in many guises, but one way or another it is usually a lack of oxygen to the brain that delivers the coup de grâce. Whether as a result of a heart attack, drowning or suffocation, for example, people ultimately die because their neurons are deprived of oxygen, leading to cessation of electrical activity in the brain - the modern definition of biological death. If the flow of freshly oxygenated blood to the brain is stopped, through whatever mechanism, people tend to have about 10 seconds before losing consciousness. They may take many more minutes to die, though, with the exact mode of death affecting the subtleties of the final experience. If you can take the grisly details, read on for a brief guide to the many and varied ways death can suddenly strike. |
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