Toilets and I make for great bowel movements
 

It's true. Handy apparatus, that is.

To quote me 'There is nothing like offering a premium sacrifice to the porcelain temple' or 'Dropping a deuce'

If it deserves a thread of its own....................

and?

I do not take the simple pleasures in life for granted.

did you think up the title for the thread but then couldn't be bothered with the content?

You can't fart online can you?

I have booze in my hands.

Who needs "content" when it's Poop Talk?

You never seem to amaze me at how suprisingly virile yet calmy effete you can be. What a versatile human you are....but unwinding on the can is one often overlooked subtle pleasure of life.

^ to truncated...... not to confuse the populus

Well, it's a universal human function (at least I hope so). There's no way to dress it up or down. The topic might as well be addressed as bluntly as anything else.

Personally (and perhaps seemingly contradictingly, as I'm discussing it at all), Number Two is very private and personal for me. I cannot do that in any bathroom that is not my own. This is not for reasons of prudence; it simply is not physically possible. My body runs on a military clock; I could set a watch by my evacuation habits.

*Note to anyone who suffers from a bout of constipation: While this may not work for everyone, running greases those wheels, so to speak, very effectively. My special bathroom moments are always after my morning run. Always.

What I don't get is the habit of reading in the bathroom. What could possibly be taking you so long that you need entertainment to pass the time? Why would you want to prolong such an activity?

Toilet paper: are you a crumpler, or a folder? I'm a folder. And the squares must always be in multiples of four.

Toilet paper should remain random, if the Human Race is to survive...

Folded toilet paper. Crumpling seems inefficient or something. And reading on the toilet is great. It's not that it takes that long, it's just something to keep you occupied whilst you take a shit. And then, quite often, you might find yourself reading long after you have evacuated, so to speak.

Anyone surf the net or talk on the phone whilst defecating?

Yep...I am a reading/entertainment advocate when it comes to the bm's. I happen to enjoy the lengthened, prolonged period of time that I exhaust when upon the cradle.

yeah, the toilet is one of the best places in the world to read, if not the best. it's also very natural, you expell one substance (the stool) and absorb another (knowledge) which may well be deposited (orally) as shit too.


i fold, i think crumpled toilet paper would probably miss bits.

i wad. gets the job done.

Sometimes wads don't stay wadded, and that's asking for trouble.

And while I see the merits of your theory, T&B, I suppose I have to disagree. An armchair personally suits me a bit more than a porcelain bowl for reading comfort.

you've gotta get a good hold on them.