Have you ever shagged an old bird?
 

...

i thought you were talking about real birds....

in that case, i stuck a pencil in ones ass.

but it was already dead and stuffed so it couldnt feel the pleasure

I once shagged a turkey, no idea how old it was though...

i fucked the roadrunner. that bird must be in his 60s now!

beep beeped a lot and too much tounge! as for that coyote, he was just a bitch!

Old people aren't so old anymore.

Try shagging a worm, it's fun. If you're a guy, you become the bitch.

It's true. And young people are getting a lot older than they ever used to be.

It's really sad. You see 8 year olds bragging about how they've smoked weed and dressing like they're Flavor Flav

I have shagged her in my dreams many a night

An old beard,perhaps.

sounds like a boast, quite distasteful, but to avoid further stupidities from being committed here i'll disclose that i've had my share of MILFs...

what would make a MILF you've fucked? a MIF'd?

anyway, all prejudiced morons should read this book:






not the movie. the book.

---

ps: nigella rules.

The amazing thing is, she eats all that pasta, and still looks like that.

Damn, she's quite a looker. I wonder what she would look like toothless, covered in blood, missing her left breast and locked in a cage in my basement. Now THAT'S hot!

it would be hillariuous if all her fat hides in her pussy

I fucked an albatross once, or at least i think it was an albatross, it was hard to tell exactly from the rotting carcass. Mmmmm, warm around the fingers, mmmmm, methane emissions

Well, from what I can tell, all her fat seems to go judiciously to her lovely lips, full breasts, and attractive toosh.

It would be lucky for her, because having sex would help burn it off. Porkmarras would get his share and so would she

150th

How old are you talking about?

i don't know how old he meant let me venture a good relative marker--

does your mom have any hot friends?

post-menopause i think is where one draws the line, as it can get bone-dry... :p