Art and depression
 

The indie snob thread got me thinking about this.

I have issues. I constantly feel like there is nothing out there for me, like everything is just designed for profit and I don't fit into that. Here is a list of things I feel negatively about:

-Sports
-Fashion
-Clubs
-Drugs
-Money
-Mainstream anything
-Sexualization
-Gender roles
-Advertising


Lots of other things. And it really affects the way I live. I used to go to counselling a lot, but eventually decided that it's ok if I feel that way, and that psychology was just out to make a buck through me. But I can't relate to people on the shallow level that people relate, with the shallow things they small talk about such as sports or mainstream music or whatever.

Basically, does anyone else feel that way? Like some sort of level of snobbery that borders on a severe mental health issue? And what do you do to cope with it? I swear I know how stupid this sounds, but I almost think I need counselling or something.

I feel the intellectuals are pricks. But I've become somewhat enthused by them. I used to get depressed, about something like what you are going through, but I had a shitty childhood. I've learned not to get depressed, just say oh well. And I do what I want to do, so do that. Don't let things get you down even if it looks like it is to get a buck out of you. Because in reality believe it or not everything is to make a buck out of you.

I love sports. I get creampie when I watch the Olympics or american football. just enjoy the game, ignore the masses and the corporate schill selling shit that surrounds the games.

Yeah, I guess what I meant by the profit thing is just that there will never be something interesting for me because, like someone said in that magazine thread, "It's all business man, sorry...". So I can't really hope for anything interesting on the surface, because it is all about selling as much as possible to as many people. Nobody wants to take a hit financially and sell to the minority. I love to pay for stuff I actually like. I actually like a lot of things.

But I guess where it used to be music, now I realize it's life in general. I need to find a place to fit in and shit. But I never will because I'm just not interested in what's out there.

I'm 24, btw, so it feels pretty awkward to be this angsty.

Edit:
Oh, yeah, well like I just don't like 'em so I can't talk about 'em with people. It's like a lack of common ground thing. I don't mean that it's necessarily wrong to like any of that stuff really... I think it's rad that you like sports.

in many ways mental illness and creativity go hand in hand.

Oh don't worry, I am 22 and I sometimes still feel the same. I haven't found my clique. But like my boyfriend said, I will find it later. Are you going to college? Cause that has helped me too, with fitting in and all.

my boyfriend & i both seem to have a very similar view on things as you do, actually...the world just seems so over filled with greed & shallowness that almost nothing seems truly real anymore...people take the meaning in everything away...& no one seems to really give a shit...it's depressing & nauseating...so if you need help then we probably do too...:o

this is the very thing that prevents me from getting my hair cut on a regular basis.

well....that and the fact that my vietnamese isn't so good.

I heard this commercial the other day for a restaurant and it was like "Blah blah blah we're so fucking oceanfront. Remember: It's not just a meal, it's an experience!". It's probably quite a nice restaurant, but I don't want to eat there now.

And I don't know if I think the masses are asses. Maybe I think they just don't care about the same things I do? And that's probably ok. So I think this is just the way things are.

And I was thinking of promoting an alternative, but I don't know what. Has anyone ever built their own alternative and been successful? I need to find the really crazy artists around here or somethng...

I'll try not to sound too patronising, but: the older you get, the more comfortable you tend to be with the way you are.

Your views seem pretty sound to me. All the things you have problems with would be on my list as well.

It'll probably always be the way.

I know what you're saying. I got really lucky last time, because the guy who cut my hair used to work in electronics technology and that's what I just graduated from.

I got to agree with pookie.

What did you take in college? I took computer engineering technology because I wanted to know how to make big amps and mixers and effects and stuff like that. Other people were there more to get good jobs building sensors for the bottom of the ocean and stuff. Which is cool, but different.

Im there for photography, and also maybe after English. I want to be an English teacher for College. Los Angeles is too beruacratic to be a Teacher in High School which I would love to be. But they suck ass.

zed-

I think the line for when it really becomes a health issue is if you're spending all your time worrying about the things you mentioned. If you're creative or have a hobby or whatever it is, put all of your energy into it until you're exhausted. Then you won't have anything left to waste stewing up on the majority of the nonsense. And theoretically, the more time that goes into something, the better you get at it, soon enough you'll hit the groups of people that do the same shit as you. Even if its crazy like building miniature forests out of hamster feces - you're bound to find others. And if not, well, you'll be the best poop forest gardner in the whole fucking world.

Yes, I feel that way too. And I'm 24. But it's okay. There's a place for you. Look.

What do I do to cope with it? Therapy, meds, denial.... but mostly I try really hard not to let it all get to me. I really TRY. Every minute. I focus on all the things I like. I deny the value of all the things that people say I should like. I make an effort to ignore a lot of stuff. I let it slide. I try to laugh at it. Mocking it helps. Genuinely trying to see it as silly and laugh at it really helps.

Oh and I got into Buddhism. That helps too.

There ARE lots of alternatives. Lots and lots. It's okay.

But it's kind of late and I'm not sure what I'm typing.

Two peas in a pod!!!

everyone has problems with depression at some point or gets stuck in a rut or finds themself in a difficult place or situation or whatever. it happens. it passes. i had a huge problem with it for a long time and now i'm done with that part of my life and i've moved on. sometimes it's best to just sweep things under the rug. eventually it will all pass.

That's what I did, cantankerous. I got tired of being depressed, so I finally said fuck it.

when it does pass you'll find how many cool things there are out there and how great yr. life can be. i'm having a lot of fun just not giving a fuck about anything and trying new things for no reason (squid is gross. mike watt was wrong).

I am having a blast eating fried calamari.

Depression gets old and boring, so what happens when hapiness does too? Then are you happier sad?

I'm not sure about what you just said Pookie. With me it goes completely different way - the older I get, the more things I realize about the absurdity of the world surrounding me and the less I feel comfortable with. oh well.

Dude, at least you are thinking about these issues. Most people don't think about anything outside their tiny world. I think negatively about most of those issues as well.

It could be a possible source of inspiration and a way to meet like minded people. You should feel good about your negative feelings towards those things. You're not oblivious to adverting, more conscious about what you consume and can make more beneficial decisions because of it your concerns. (Not really sure if any of that made sense).

That is why I stopped being down all the time, because it was getting old. I mean I had it since High School till about the end of last year. that is almost 7 years.

Aliada on Broadwayin Astoria has the best grilled squid...

squid is deliciuos.

calimari is delicious

squid sushi is delicious

I hardly had sushi.

Yeah, I used to just disregard it. I'd like to just pretend it doesn't exist, because I don't think it's worth any of my attention and it makes me feel bad. But it's everywhere so unless I want to be a total hermit snob then I have to let it exist. I mean my girlfriend likes lots of cool stuff and is really intelligent, but she also likes to shop a lot and go out and dance to bad music. So if I just laugh at shit like that, I think she feels like I'm making fun of her. And all my friends like stupid shit like the saw trilogy and they want me to meet them at a club for their birthday and I'm like fuck no, why would I want to spend more money than I have to on beer and tips for bartenders and bad conversation.

So yeah, I think it would be better if I didn't have to acknowledge reality, but that's not really the case.

Edit: Calimari is delicious, and so is smoked octopus.

people who eat that chicken sushi stuff, and act like they are all 'oo i eat sushi i rock' piss me off..its just a mini chicken roll. its not raw and it tastes fine.

art and depression go hand in hand. depressioj and intelligence also go hand in hand
there ahve been psychological studies that treat "happiness" as just another delusion.
to be an artist you ahve to have your mind open to the world around you. some artists hate the world around them and create fantasy. Others depict the world around them. either way they ussually find the few beautiful good things in the world and expand on themn, or they decide to point out the sick and twiste in new ways.
understanding the world is depressing, because it makes it very hard to see the good and the beauty and the joy around us.
we will never rid the world of pain and suffering, in fact, it may be necesary to have pain and suffering if we are to have joy and happiness.

this in itself is a depressing thought.

shit happens
joy happens

but Pootie Tang always makes me happy

I'm done feeling depressed and wanting to kill myself, ive been there for too many years and i can't do it anymore, its a cycle, you have to figure out what's making you unhappy and cut it out of your life. For me that was a certain musician, whom i don't listen to anymore. And i feel much better!

You are normal, and there is nothing mentally wrong with you. Its just a phase. and if you can figure out away to get out of it then DO IT!!!!
i agree with cantankerous and SyntheticalY 100%

in a rut.

writing helps. even though i hate most of what i do.

i know i can do better. make films that'd actually be worth watching. i just question whether or not i have the will to put enough effort into something to make it good.

i feel as if i don't like doing anything, and i don't necessarily like anyone. i hate feeling like this. i just don't know exactly where i belong

i'm starting to stop caring about school, work, everything. and as a result of that get even more depressed.

writing helps. pretending i can make a worthwhile short film up to my own standards within 10 days helps too. but i know i'm only heading towards more disappointment.

also in a rut.

not getting accepted to the school i had my heart set on (twice), relationship is slowly dying out, no creative drive, no friends, anxiety and depression issues.

etc.

unipolar depression makes being productive in any meaningful way impossible. Relying on any drug also exacerbates the negative tendencies in yr mind. Certain people need certain things to be productive - me, i need emotional security and sexual congress, but its all about what makes u feel comfortable kids

When i start hating my writing, thats when i do my most unpleasent and hurtful writing, which has alot of artistic value in itself.

At least we have sweet counter-culture avatarz lol

mine is bigger.

Yeah, but mine's black.

That's 'in' these days.

but

mine is

red

I could've sworn it was orange.