Performance anxiety
 

In the bathroom, that is.

I wonder if anyone else has this problem: I can't pee in public washrooms, or when I know people can hear me.

Not that I'm prudish, or think it's "gross" - I just can't physically do it. If I'm in a washroom in a restaurant, for example, I have to wait until everyone leaves, or someone runs the water or hand dryer.

I also hate going to people's houses where their washroom is adjacent to a main room.

I can't even FATHOM people that can carry on conversations while sitting in separate toilet stalls.

This is an issue that plagues me on a regular basis, and is almost a crippling inconvenience.

Anyone else have performance issues?

i prefer it if no one is there and if anyone is then like you i have to wait for a hand dryer or whatever. some people, especially men just dont care and its really sickening to hear someone strain and groan while you are in the one next to them.

in sweden there are actually double toilets so that you can sit next to someone. that is my idea of hell.

I don't know what it is with this board and excretion-related questions, but alright. I'm afraid that the piss will make a loud noise and it'll sound to others like I'm pouring a bottle of water into the toilet.

Yeah.

Just be gross about it. Pee and sigh really loudly, let a fart slip out or two. People will be so repulsed by it they won't want to pay attention to you and will exit the bathroom ASAP.

I have no qualms with public pissing or shitting. I do piss too much, but that's a sign of healthy kidneys according to my doctor.

pissing isn't a problem but taking a dump is a different matter. espescially in those public bathrooms when there's someone sitting next to you

well, here is a thematic appropriate joke i already posted on the old board, but noone was interested

--

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other toilett saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"



Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just
be polite and end the conversation with them
"No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously...

"Listen, I'll have to call you back.
There's an idiot in the other stall
who keeps answering all my questions

Oh my God that's funny. I have to do that the next time I squeeze a dookie in a public bathroom.

that's hilarious!

the one time i've ever played on stage my hands were shaking so bad, i could barely hold a guitar

I'm not a fan of using urinals...Seems to me that it's something that should have been left behind in the 19th century. And it sometimes ruins my flow if I am going for a piss and someone starts talking to me. Even at home when someone shouts to hurry up because they need a piss...the knowledge that I have to hurry fucks up the process.

I can have a shit in a public toilet OK though. As long as they aren't to horrible looking.

does anyone else have a problem with pissing in airplane bathrooms?... i'm terrified some major turbulence will occur and i'll piss all over myself...

I hold it on airplanes during 8 hour flights. I will die of a ruptured bladder before I piss on an airplane.

One of my absolute pet peeves is when someone jiggles the door handle while you're in the bathroom. Totally ruins the flow.

i hate it when there is hair on the toilet. that just sickens me beyond belief. i always said that if i ever did that then i would flog myself in public.

I usually skip the urinals and piss in a toilet, I never #2 in public bathrooms, unless it's an emergency.

That's funny.
I never do #2 in any public place. I always pee in t a stall. It's much more comfortable that way.
I try not to use the bathroom at all during school because some assholes who think it's funny will bang on the stall door when your in there. I hate that.

Public bathrooms are the worst, especially the ones at school. People spread shit all over the walls and piss on the seat and leave the toilet seat clogged. I just avoid them all together.

Hehhe, i was once peeing in a quiet toilet. There was me and another person in a cubical somewhere else......i was peeing and next thing you hear is the loudest, wettest, grunt ever produced by a human...i couldnt help myself....i broke out in fits of giggles and coulnt control my stream of piss. I managed to pee all over the seat and back part....omg it was hilarious.

i like to shake my wang in public restrooms :D

---

seriously, ms., you get psychoanalisis...



or some klonopins :D

Hahaha, this thread is hilarious.

My bladder gets all shy in public toilets, and then I start getting all self-concious in case people think I've only gone into the the toilet to play with myself.

wow, you guys are strange, ive never had a problem pissing is public bathrooms although ive never shit in a public toilet before as far as i can remember.
i have a friend who cant piss if anyone else in is the room so when we go to the bathroom at the same time at college i have to stand and make the hand dryer comeon over and over again so that no one can hear her.

i guess ive been on holiday so many times with friends etc and had to share bathrooms with them for weeks ive alos had a week of camping and pissing/shitting in the woods with family. i dont really care anmore everyone does it!!!!!!!!!

I'm the same, except I try to avoid using public bathrooms in the first place.

English slang language lesson:

what's a bladder?
what's a grunt?

I kind of figured it out of the context, I just wanna make sure

Bladder: The organ that stores urine
Grunt: Popular nickname for an infantryman in Vietnam

I have never had problems with public washrooms. However, there was in incident in junior high when a bunch of fucking jerks (who picked on me a lot) tried pulling me away from the stand up toilet while I was relieving myself. Luckily, I succeeded in resisting their pulling.

The amount of times I've read that exact quote from other people is unbelivable.

you should of pissed on them:D

Yeah turn around whilst still going. Sure you may of got a black eye but they'd of smelt of piddle. Win-win

Standing up to pee is overrated...

if you left out "a guitar" ... this would be utterly hilarious.

anyways, i absolutely hate when there is (say a long line of urinals,) and you take one somewere nice and secluded, and some jackass (seeing there is plenty of other urinals far away) decides to use the one RIGHT NEXT TO YOU! LAME! so at that point i just try to get away asap. also, like some one else said, when people jiggle the door when yr in it. i don't care whatthere excuse was, if you push it and it doesnt open, theres SOMEONE THERE.
another thing, i hate peeing in toilets in (either) public areas, or friends that i dont know VERY well's houses. i dont know why i just think the sound is somehow embarrassing.

i was once peeing in a stall and this little girl jsut pushed the door open and walked in. a couple of days later the same thing happened with an old woman

oh snap! no locks??

there was never any locks on the doors at school, you used to have to get someone to hold the door closed from the outside for you.

this memory just popped in my head today while driving around. when i was 12 or 13 i was at this girls house who i had met at a concert. this was our first date and her mom had left us by our lonesome at the house! on top of being kind of nervous i had to go #2 and the only bathroom was behind a flimsy door that was about 5 feet away from the couch we were sitting on. so this is the perfect opportunity to put my clumsy moves on this girl but i had this pressure down there inhibiting me from doing much. i had never so happy to get back home.

im walking dogs these days so today i get to this guys house and hes there. i have to take a dump but hes a large guy that leaves his gay porn dvds on the kitchen table and i decided to wait till the next house.

I generally don't care much about going #1, but the one thing I hate is having to go, getting there when there are people in there, and then not having to go anymore. You can't just walk back out without doing anything, like you just walked in there to check the place out, and it's not like you can explain yourself. So you have to think really hard about water or something and just hope...

no there were locks, they just managed to ram it open

sexual excitement inhibits urination in male uinary/genital tracts...;)