Great Popular Music Follies.
 

Those moments/things/ideas in popular music that thankfully never lasted or, regretably still continue in one form or another. Either way they're crap.

Exhibit A: The 'keyboard/guitar'

As seen here played by Jazzie B in Soul II Soul

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CSQdLxpZXR4

Exhibit B: The Headless Bass.

As seen being played by the reassuringly rubbish Mark - Kung Fu Slippers - King






Exhibit C: Headbands

They looked crap on John McEnroe. They looked even worse in Rock music. As seen here on Dire Straits' 'axe man' Mark Knopfler.

Wolf Eyes.

...oh wait, they're still around.. fuck...

The one armed drummer.

Thankfully, this stupid idea ended with Def - Hysteria is actually Brilliant - Leppard.

Political Correctness is one thing. This is something else. This is crap.




Songs by Europeans/Amreicans about the Third World.

Thanks to U2, Coldplay and Radiohead, this horrible concept continues.

This boy is sad because he can't afford a ticket to see Coldplay.



Frontmen who play the odd bit of guitar on stage. They look awkward and, as such, should never do it. Ever.

Being rich beyond belief, but acting like you're the bloke next door. Which unless the house next door to yours is a big fuck-off mansion, is just bollocks, basically.










The Thrash Metal Drumkit.

As if to distance itself from earlier forms of metal, Thrash drummers did their best to construct kits that would make Def Leppard's job impossible.

Lars - more toms please - Ulrich shows off.







The 'faded' Metal T shirt.

People buy them to make others think that they've always been into metal. People don't actually think that at all. They actually think, what a twat.

Bands that carry on despite the fact that their most interesting/sexy member has jumped ship.





The 'ironic' duet




Jarvis Cocker. Has single handedly made it possible for 18 year old Woody Allen lookalikes to get gorgeous girlfriends.

ha amzing thread i cant think of any though

Live Whatever exploitation concerts.

this thread's hilarious...

anyway.. i vote for drummer-written songs. anyone ever heard "beth" by kiss? ugh..

The handless microphone.

Thank Janet Jackson for popularising this. Not only did it make every popstar wearing one look like a switchboard operator, it encouraged intricate dancing whilst singing. Thus we were given New Kids on the Block.







Crowd Surfing.

This stupid practice continues solely so that virgin Slint fans can occasionally cop a feel.








Any album cover from the '80s, featuring a band that were big in the 60s.

The myth that acting like a spastic on stage means you've got soul. It doesn't. It means you're a spastic.







The 'hidden' album track. it serves only three purposes.

1) to fuck up my itunes 'shuffle'.

2) to make short albums seem longer.

3) to give you a heart attack approximately 25 minutes after you thought the album had finished.





The 'were so fuckin' Indie we don't even do encores' crock of shit.

Everyone knows that bands have encores so that people can politely leave early, without having to say that they 'walked out'.

Dual guitar posing with each guitarist's back to the other.

Actually, guitar posing just sucks in general.

Aha yes, the old twin guitar Alamo pose.

Bassists acting like complete goofs, instead of just playing.

you mean?

The complete inability for any black musician to say anything even remotely negative about Aretha Franklin.

Mention in passing that you think she might not quite be hitting the high notes of late and it's like you want to bring back slavery or something.

The sonic youth t-shirt

The whole 'unplugged' phenomenon.

Giving someone an acoustic guitar does not necessarily turn them into Robert Johnson.

Or... does it?

That one is overrated.

Hahah. Yeah. YOu know they've never heard of the bands, let alone heard the music. That Drew Barrymore is a major victim to this. She goes out with a dude from the Strokes so we starts wearing all denim and faded band shirts such as the Stones etc. Fake.

encores are stupid

demonrail is the new Q magazine.

Yeah encores are pretty pointless. I love the extra songs but all that waiting for what we know is going to happen is stupid. Just add them on to the regular set, please.

Hey, hey, now. Now.

Grant Hart wrote the best song ever.

bands who start out as 3 or 4 pieces and add 20 touring members to "enhance" their live sound.

i'll admit that when talking heads expanded thier lineup in the 80's it was cool, but it was also needed because their sound had changed so much since '77.

when they do it just for the sake of showmanship and theatrics it's kind of
ridiculous.

The Grateful Dead, end of story.

The impossiblility of listening to a Rap album in the 90s that didn''t have a track dedicated to the rapper's 'moms'.






That sense of defeat when buying a punk album, then turning it over to find these awful words ... "keyboards by..."







Bands that end a show thus:

Sepultura's Roots album is brilliant. However, it's guaranteed that any band claiming to have been been influenced by it are gonna be fucking awful.

The rise of a type of Rock fan that's more at home on Dr Phil than they are at a show.

Chubby Rock.

Until the 90s, Rock was played almost exclusively by anorexic blokes with dodgy teeth. Since then has come the rise of the Super-Size-Me Rock band. Which is potentially sort of good for me, but otherwise VERY bad. Crowbar are brilliant though, I have to admit. Especially in a tug-o-war situation.

Mostly everything the Flaming Lips do on stage now. Not really done by other bands but still annoying.

Even in that picture, the keytar is successful at sucking out any sexiness of the player/band.

Be quite! :mad:

Bullshit, mate. Have you seen them live? Great atmosphere.

That's kinda true. haha. Most bands claiming to be influenced by said album tend to be that ghastly nu-metal. How come? I don't know. Must be the sludgy, tuned down guitars.

The never-ending roll-call of 'serious'/'indie' rock outfits doing 'ironic' cover versions of Britney/Kylie/Beyonce/Madonna etc tunes. It's like they're trying to tell us "Although we're solemn hetero types, we're really in touch with our inner disco queen side". Fuck OFF.

No, that's the old "I'm so cool I can do anything and it'll be cool" thing. Cool to be uncool, ya know.

And what's more ironic is that the covers aren't ironic.

what could possibly be wrong with these guys? jerry had only been wearing the same shirt for 34 years at the time of this picture....









my vote is for the super 80s guitar....