Awkward Social Situations
 

Really, I encounter too many on a daily basis to enumerate upon. However, one that has recently plagued me in the workplace is the 'conversational perpetuater.'

You know those people who engage you in a conversation (which in itself is usually banal and painfully substantiated with forced small talk), and when the resource of trivial bullshit has run dry and the conversation is visibly over, refuse to walk away? They stare at you in a chasm of silence, looking at you expectantly, despite the fact that neither of you have anything more to say. All physical and verbal indications have been given that the conversation has terminated, but they JUST WON'T LEAVE.

What's wrong with these people? How do you handle the situation?

those can be tough. i was at a funeral recently for my step grandpappy meeting a whole lot of step-family members that i'd never met before and so i had to talk to EVERY single last one of them. not only that, but they liked to run their fucking mouths. to deal with this i've worked out a system. just sorta space out while they talk, and when they finally shut up just kinda look at them blankly until they feel so awkward they scurry away.

".....So, how much can you bench?"

i hate saying goodbye to people because i never know what to do, you can go for a handshake and they lean over for a kiss on the cheek, or you go for a kiss on the cheek goodbye and they were expecting a wave, its so uncomphortable, i usually just wave goodbye now.

ha ha ha, this is a great idea, although with my family they would probly just think i was trippin from some drug if i did this.

I fucking love that cartoon. It's so apropos.

Diesel, you ARE an awkward social situation.

I am so feelin' that.

I don't like people getting in my bubble. If I don't know you, you best be backing off. This means no cheek-kissing, no awkward one-armed hugs, no standing 1 millimeter away from me when speaking. You have to EARN entrance into the bubble.

i was renting out a DVD from the local shop with my mate last weekend, just staying in watching a movie and having a blaze, so we come to an agreement, He pays to rent the DVD and i'll buy the munchies... so i go up to the counter with a large packet of Walkers crisps (they are the new lime flavored ones - Charolette Church is in the ad for them) when all of a sudden the bitch behind the counter starts this shit about how "they arent nice", how i should "put them back and get a different kind", all about how she tried them with her friend and that they stink.. i'm like.. "fuck it, i'll take my chances, maybe i will like em maybe i wont but what the hell!! what am i loosing only the cost of them which was about €2!".. but no.... she had to fucking go again...."i'm telling you... you will not like them crisps... they are horrible, put them back now and get a different type" at this stage a queue had formed behind me... i let fly.." look, i'm gonna buy these fuckin things and see how I like them and not you... you tried em and didint like em now i'm gonna give em a shot, he's the fuckin money, take it and we'll consider this simple transaction over" now she gets stroppy..."well if you dont like em its your own fault" now the €2 coin has bounced off the counter and i turn on me heels and leave, didnt look back but imagined the €2 coin embedded in her forehead as i leave smiling to myself...
my point was all i was doing was buying somethin in a shop and this...YOKE has to get the whole pitch in and try and do some sort of good deed for the day with a queue of people behind me...i was very stoned and i really dont need this confrontation..

i feel better about it now... maybe i went overboard...
the crisps in the end were actually.....horrible
my mate finished the bag

Y'all have weird food over there anyhow. Ireland is the only place I've ever been where a tyrannical Italian ran a curry take-away. And Abrekebabra - need I say more? That place is a ptomaine epidemic waiting to happen.

i got sick form that place more times... jesus they are some greasy spoon. although after a few beers the place lights up like Neverland... then the next morning yr ass is on fire and you remember you ate there last night..

when were you in ireland Truncated?

I lived there for a bit about 5 years ago, and I go back once a year to visit friends. Heading back this summer in fact.

The only reason people eat at Abrekebabra is because it's the only place open at that hour of the night/morning. All food served there is unrecognizable as anything edible you've encountered before.

yeah you are so right there its the only place open atthat time, wow thats cool T, i didnt realise you had so much connection to Ireland.

and Taco fries...of course

Yeah, if you feel like hosting some serious bacteria in your colon.

i prefer a doner kebab to chicken, jesus i'm getting hungry meself now.. i'd eat a scabby baby thru a skylight! its a real warm day in ireland today aswell, might just have a salad...NOT

you end up like some sort of bacteria middleman... a host if you will

i'm can be real odd about what i eat, if your paying money to have a nice meal or even a bag of chips you wanna make sure its done right..
although in saying that i cant explain my abrakebabra antics, that is just alcohol talking i think

yeah, know what you mean, i love a good munch me

Hmmmm, awkward social situations:

Being thrust into a social situation with your archenemy (yes I do have an archenemy)
When a girl that you don't want to have sex with is sitting on your bed and asking you to play songs on your guitar for her (I came out the victor here!)
When a girl can't stop finding ways to touch you upon first meeting, but she can't stop finding ways to mention her boyfriend.
When you go into the back room of a party with some friends not realizing they are about to toke, when you have made they decision not to smoke pot.

The last one is pretty easily remedied by not sharing the pot.
Peer pressure was a HUGE myth regarding drug use in my experience.
I was never once pressured to do drugs to fit in, ever.

you were the one doing the pressureing huh?

Yeah, but it was about cool stuff like arson and murder.

I had a friend (dubbed "Cornbread," so I suppose oddities are expected) who used to get EXTREMELY offended if you were in a group bake and passed on a hit. He had an "all or nothing" philosophy about participation, and if you couldn't hang for the duration, he grew strangely sullen and admonished you for ruining his high.

He has since been expelled from college for dealing cocaine out the fire escape of his apartment to local high schoolers.

Sounds like a guy I would be concerned about "fitting in" with.

I must be quite socially adept, I can't empathise with any of the social situations you've all mentioned.

The only one I can think of is when someone isn't enough of a man to laugh at the awkwardness of going for a piss at the same time. Oh, and when people do handshakes where you go from standard English to that one where your thumbs lock. I don't mind doing spuds, that's not difficult to mistinterpret, but the normal > thumb lock one is just fucking awful.

You must have misunderstood me. These problems do not result from MY social ineptitude, but the idiocy of the general public. It is not my fault that the collective members of society do not choose to obey my rules of social interaction which are, verifiably, optimal for all situations of human liaising.

Really, it's just easier to succumb to me. Go on. You know it's in your best interest.

I was thinking that in the situation described by yourself, I would've made it quite clear that the conversation was finished and got on with my work. Or at least wandered off saying, "Ooh, I've just got to get a coffee, I'll speak to you later, yeah?". There. Problem solved.

It's a delicate situation. I'm in my own office, so they INTRUDE, and CORNER me. There is no escape. I work with a breed of overly social people, who do not seem to understand the signs of misanthropy, which I communicate quite clearly.

Regardless, these types of situations plague one in any setting, on a daily basis. Just one of numerous reasons why I should be elected global fuhrer.

do you not get on with anyone where you work?

hah. you need to learn the "FUCK OFF" look. or the art of being unpleasant.

look. i just googled a random picture with "fuck off" as search therm. the others i can't post in the name of decency:



okay, i will post them anyway...



now, THAT will keep your office free of interference...

Are you sure you weren't searching under "glandular atrocity?"

Just act as though you're very busy. Right from the start, talk to them in passing, walk as you talk. This is what I try to do. This could be a reason for why people don't like me, however.

On a side note, I'm so sick of having talks like this with people. You know the ones:

Them: How are you?
Me: Shitty, I hate work, and I hate you.
Them: Thats neat. I'm great.
Me: Fuck you.
Them: To think its only Monday! (or) Thank god its Friday!! Have a great day!!

I go through this about 20 times a day.

hah hah. fucking hilarious. you should write plays.

I used to write plays when I was little. Stupid stuff. I don't have the patience for it. But thanks.

Any social interaction is awkward to me. All these boring people you have nothing in comman with who your forced to talk with and if you don't talk to them like thier your best friend your weird and anti-social. Work is the worst. If you could be drunk at work it would be alot easier to talk to everyone.

Aaaargh i hate to have like those forced conversations. i mostly have this with people i just met and hot girls. I found out Beer is the best solution for this.

Neither was I. I just told them that I didn't smoke, then I went to Wendy's. It was just an awkward situation, that is all.

Jeez....I'm terrible in social situations. I think most people who I wouldn't want to have a boring conversation with at my place of work steer clear because I complain a lot and swear quite loudly....so I'm told. I snagged a new pair of slacks on my desk today and said "cunt" quite loudly.....

i hate wearing tshirts with slogans. they're my shirts, but it's so awkward when someone is staring at your shirt, and when you ask what's up, they ask about your shirt. you explain, and they still KEEP STARTING AT IT. it makes me feel horrible.

most social interaction for me is horrible, mostly because i'm forced to communicate with imbeciles at school.

well, i finally broke out of that immigrants hellhole thread to get some air

yeah, i've had similar experiences to what truncated first wrote

it is awkward & I (as you do probably) just make some sort of excuse. as the situation gets more weird the excuses get more & more transparent to hopefully send a message of what the boundaries are.

it's like they want you to be their friend, but they also want you to entertain them or something. sometimes i guess it's because the person has little social or coping skills of their own.

I known some young guys at various jobs that did the same thing to me all the time & more recently, there's this friend of mine that I fell out of contact with for awhile because he got serious with a girlfriend who has kids of her own & now that the relationship is rocky he wants to hang out & he does the same thing on the phone to me all the time & calls with no point in mind & so forth.

The very worst case of this happening was just a few years ago & some guy started talking to me out of the blue as I was smoking outside when I lived at this one apartment complex. from there it seemed that he just started waiting to see me outside & then going out to talk to me. Thing was, we never had anything to talk about & I always did most of the talking. As my cigarette wes about out...then he wound ask a question or something. The guy didn't smoke either. Towards the end though, he was smoking cigarettes too...haha. I won't say what nationality he was, but he was (is still?) a foreign exchange student. My friend kept telling me the guy was gay, but I just don't think so, because in my youth I had a few gay stalkers. This won't do much much to discredit that theory, but the guy did give me a shirt for the Christmas that I was in that apartment complex. He said it was a gift someone gave him that he didn't want. It was not wrapped, but in a gift box, so I suppose his story checks out.