So I'm single for the first time in 3 years
 

I'm heart broken and I can't even remember what I used to do.

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

It'll get better. Don't be down on yourself.

LOL!!! i'm sorry if that was insensitive.... but that was cliche as fuck.

I know, right? Cliches come in handy at times like this because they hold some truth.

I don't care if it's a cliche. It's true.

I broke up with my bf of 3 years, ever since then, we've still been inseperable as best friends. I even dated someone else for a while, and he stuck by me the whole time. Just over today and yesterday, I've realized that there will be no one I care for more in my life than him, and I'm done looking for anything else.

I'm sorry, I suppose I just needed to say that. Back on topic.

Embrace the feeling of being "free". I'm sorry, was that cliche?

Then what are you going to do about it?

Wait for him, or buy a nursing home next to him and live alone?

I don't have to wait for him. He's been waiting the whole fucking time. I've been a fool.

So you're back with him then?

No, I've only just finished writing him a multiple page letter about how I feel.
Yeah, "one of those".

My sympathies. It's tough to get through.

I'm going through a similar thing. It happened like a month ago. Slowly getting better.

The really shitty part about it though, is that the one person I could completely talk to about anything and has consistently helped me through rough patches before, has completely disappeared. I haven't talked to her in almost two months and that's honestly more difficult to get through than the breakup.

Sounds like you're focussed on the wrong person.

That has often been my dilemma. We had something a long time ago, but I fucked it up by not doing anything. So, now, she's on-again/off-again engaged to some guy 4 or so years older than I. So....I've learned to live with my mistake.

Edit: and to add insult to fucking injury. She's the person that I go to shows with. Talk about having an odd experience. Try this sometime...

Sounds similar to what I'm talking about.
Well, I know how it feels.

Some advice for anyone in this sort of situation:

"Loneliness and cheeseburgars are a dangerous mix."

im sorry you feel so shitty/mixed up .
i fear breaking up with my guy for that exact reason - "i cant even remember what i used to do"

Sorry to hear it Norma.

Been there myself, Norma. There's no getting around the fact that it hurts, but time will make it easier. You're still very young, and there are great possibilities ahead for you.

Sounds like you need to drown your sorrow and celebrate your freedom by drinking with friends.

Shit, I'm sorry to hear that, duder. :(
I hate that feeling, even for relatively short-terms things...(the "what the fuck did I spend my time on?)
Hope shit gets a little better, man. You are loved.

Uhhh.... Who are you talking to k-krack?

exactly. dont get hung up on what could have been, grasp the what may happen vibe and go and have fun. you are only young once and when this life is over, you dont get to press the reset button, unless you are tom cruise, which you are not....i hope... if you are tom cruise well im truly sorry........ for your wife katie.... and i liked days of thunder.... now i said it!!!

I think the best thing to do is really just move the fuck away from it all and get out there and do whatever seems to be appropriate or feel right. Go with your heart to lead you into good feelings, and let go of all notions of 'but if he/she were here..'


Without being a dick, you say you dont know what to do? Did you not ever do anything for yourself while you were together?

Have you ever lived with your partner?

I'm not talking lunch time kisses behind the toilet block here.

To be in a relationship you have to be in it with your heart and soul, sure you do stuff by yourself, but your always thinking of the other and do whatever you can together and you're connected, other wise you're only in a relationship by the term 'relationship'. Anyone can say it, it's a matter of doing it. that's all love is.

Norma J, would you find it offensive or agreeable if I call you a romantic?

oh shit man. so sorry.

what the fuck happened?


ha ha, you hallmark card.



now, that, that is valuable advice


i don't know-- drinking when bummed out can lead to problems



dammit man, are you sure it's not something that cannot be worked out? im not trying to pry here, but long term relationships have their ups and downs and it's not always a party, it gets difficult at times, but you can work things out... not sure if in your case it can be done? but you can still try...

nothing to add here except that if someone actually knows a speedy way of recovering from this, please let me know.

ohhh, don't try to date someone until you feel you are ready.

My girl stopped talking to me.
I said good riddance.
Love is like a case of anthrax.
Now you feel it, huh?

im always single...

Sorry to hear that Norma, well I have not been in that situation so I can't really tell you much but to march on.

this thread's got me down

thats because im a loser.

I don't know how your friends are but I imagine that they're suppose to be there to comfort you in hard times. That's why I mentioned them.

Then I suppose there are enough borderline sociopaths on this board that can't see friends as anything beyond means.

Yes that's what it is.
I hope you'll feel better.

um, yeh I am right now.

I still do stuff without my partner sometimes. Because I'm still me, even though we live togther.

I kind of want to respond to a lot of what you've said, but i can understand that yr hurting and not meaning to be so..
'my way is the only way'

i'm sorry.
i've always been single
and i'm kind of heartbroken because of that...yet i'm scared of giving any guy a chance.
i just don't know what to do with myself.

Don't rush into another relationship.

i'm sorry, norma. i can't even imagine what that's like. i'm having a hard enough time dealing with losing my best friend after 3 years which obviously isn't even a romantic relationship.

i haven't spoken to him in 3 weeks.... after talking on the phone for hours everyday for 3 years and hanging out all the time. i feel very heartbroken as well, but i think i'm getting better. good riddance to bad rubbish... i do believe it's true, even though sometimes i have to remind myself of this.

i'm just so sorry, but you'll be okay in time.

It was somewhat of a matual decision, but only on my behalf because of late she doesn't look at me the same as she used to. And yeah, I think it is something time will heal, for both of us and there is a huge chance of getting back together down the track... hopefully.

We still talk and are still bestfriends and love eachother, but I guess the best way to put it is, we don't argue anymore. We used to argue about certain things, little things because we were so passionate about eachother, but lately it's like we're too lazy to argue. That may seem weird to others, but I think it makes sense. We're actually getting along better now than we have for the last 6 to 12 months. Which is the only happiness I'm taking from all of this.

We wont lose eachother from our lives, but I dread the time she finds another guy (if we don't get back together), and I kinda dread the time I meet another girl.

Ps - This board really is a good board full of good people.

haha. I've never put too much thought into it, but I guess I am.

do you have a hard time listening to music that she really liked or that you enjoyed together? when my first long term relationship came to an end, it was hard for me to listen to what she really liked for awhile. i'm just glad she wasn't much of a minor threat fan.

If that is the case, I don't care if I listen to another Elton John cd.