i will rip out your facial hair.
 

fo realz.

"it's starting to feel like xmas party all over again."

Thank god I shaved my beard off last night.

I have none.
Well, leaving out my eyebrows of course.
Sometimes I think about shaving them off just to see if people notice.

for realz. because it totally smelled like penisbreath.

8,000 post party starts right here right now.

eyebrows are schhhhhexy. omg dont ask penisbreathradley because he doesn't know.

what about unabrows (monobrows in canada)?

Where's the alcohol, damnit?

i am proceeding.

I'm hogging it to wash down the codeine with.

Yeah, eyebrows are HAWT.
I just came

i think you got some on me

omg! OMG! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHMMMMMG whereres melly.

Is that possible?...

Yes.

e-cum.

If you say so.
Not gonna ask how, though

I mean, since I'm a chick, and all, and I have a vagina, and all, and all.

e-squirt

Now that's an awkward image.
Almost as awkward as Sean Connery prancing around in panties with a flower print all over them, stroking a cat whose umbrella has caught fire.

One day I will find a play on your name and you will rue.

youre a fucking whore....

I can't tell if that's a compliment or not

haha zardoz.

OH GOD
I CAN'T UNSEE IT

i will go spend 17.5 minutes before REM and floatingslowly is dressed in crushed velvet.. kthxbai.

Here I am!!...oi, who just bunged mayonnaise on me?
*has a taste*
"Hmm, too salty for mayo.....it must be....spunk, glorious spunk!"