Dish (in a nice way) on your partner!
 

Share a funny story about something your partner/spouse said or did.
This one still cracks me up:
I recently got a call from my brother in Calif. He told me that he has prostrate cancer. When I hung up I was upset. My bf says, what's the matter honey? I say, my brother's got prostrate cancer. He gives me a big hug and says, Awwww....have you had yours checked lately? I could NOT stop laughing. He was completely serious.
I'm a GRRRRRRLLLL.

my wife has Tourette's, or at least, she wishes that she had it.

if she has a sense for what's appropriate, she doesn't care.

"THIS IS NOT THE HI-LO." I always say.

she's also The World's Worst Driver (13 years in a row). a trip with her isn't the same without a few stomps on my imaginary break.

we've only been together for five weeks or so. it's all sunshine and rainbows so far.

sorry to hear about your brother having prostate cancer btw.

Having been married umpteen years, I have a million of them. One of my favorites goes back to when we were still baby lovers, not even engaged yet, and we'd gone to see Halloween right after it came out. My gf was pretty frightened throughout, squeezing my wrists, hiding her face, etc. Finally, in one of those last scenes in the house with Jamie Lee Curtis when the guy starts to get up again after being knocked down, my gf couldn't take it anymore--got up out of her seat and went running from the theater out onto the street. I stayed for the rest of the movie.

Not really very funny, but just kind of cute. She was never pissed that I didn't come out after her either.

On one of our very first dates, we were back in her apt listening to records and she put on the white album. We got so scared during Rev #9 that we had to turn the record off and double lock the doors. We weren't even stoned or high.

cute

yeah now we are 'the cute couple with the weird last names'. later we'll turn into 'the couple with the weird last names'.

Or the couple with the weird last name? (no pluralization)

naah i'd rather keep mine. my dad already made the joke: if you ever get married, better practise before with the priest or it might turn into a tongue-twister'.

i have a french-spanish sounding last name, his is greek.

My gf is so awesome. She is seriously the most intelligent person I have ever met....I have so many stories that demonstrate this. She also has the kindness heart and is so incredibly creative. But what turns me on the most about her is how badass she can become. She has a second degree black belt and used to be a ranked competitive martial artist. Although my gf usually shy and concerned about making good impressions, if somebody does something messed up she will make it known that she can (and will) totally fuck you up. One example of this is when a former roommate of mine brought this kid over to our house who proceeded to make extremely narcissistic and offensive comments throughout the whole night. At one point he took it a step too far. She smashed a beer bottle against the table and held the broken end in front of his face, telling him that if he said anything else she would totally fuck him up. At that point, he shut up. I love what a tuff chick she is!

I'm happily single right now, but an ex-girlfriend of mine whom I am still good friends with always made me particularly happy with her 'don't take shit from no one' attitude. If anyone pissed her off in the slightest she'd give them hell. Once, at a Lightning Bolt show, the douche that organized the show had his interns act as a 'safety crew', forming a protective ring around the band as they performed. This didn't do a god damn thing except piss everybody off, especially since some of the interns took there task way too seriously. She focused on one of them in particular. She kept jabbing him in the ribs, and then finally she decided to just hock a big fucking loogie right on the back of his neck. When he turned around in disbelief she stared him down intensely, called him something, and was just like "WHAT."

If we weren't at a Lightning Bolt show I'd have fucked her in the ass right there.

I can kind of only date chicks that grew up in New York. All of the transplants that move here just aren't tough enough.

really? that's the best you can do?

do you want me to play this game? i'm good at this game.

your ex-girlfriend sounds like the average annoying bulldog-dyke to me.

learn to read the OP (in a nice way).

I don't doubt yr witching ways, yr evilness.

fuck you


my boyfriend is the best person in the whole wide world
let me think of an anecdote

Ha ha, trust me, if she were I'd have had no interest. I can't stand bulldog dykes. She was very different in that she had nothing to prove to anyone. She's also very feminine. Versus bulldog. She's just a chick that grew up in the Bronx.

Fight me and prove otherwise.

I have no partner D:

i own guns, i don't need to fight


i've decided i'm not going to bore everyone with an anecdote. 8 inches of cock is enough.

There are actually two handguns in my apartment. That aside, you can use yours, I'll come empty-handed. Then maybe we'll be evenly matched.

next.

'Next' was a terrible movie, and as soul-crushingly bad as it was it won't help you in our fight.

Ha. That sounds like one of those tv-show-spoof-pornos that are all over now.

^^ nyc represent.

nice Will Oldham impersonation

I've never met a girl that meets my impossibly high standards.

Knew/dated some that came close but no bones.

(is that a real idiom? No bones? I hope so)

i just became single again. she was sort of nuts... but I still feel upset about it.

One time my husband was at the grocery store and one of his socks from the dryer came out the leg of his pants onto the floor in an aisle. He called whispering to tell me. I tried to make him pick it up to bring home, but he refused.

said i heard her call my name is an awful song

When my daughter was about two, we were shopping in the grocery store and it was very busy. She was sitting in the seat portion of the cart facing me as I pushed the cart. We got in the long line to the cash register, and all of a sudden she goes, pointing to the crotch of my jeans, "Daddy, is that your penis?"

I did my best to "cover" this, so to speak, by going, "No, honey, we're not buying peanuts."

She also loved to act like we were beating her to death if we had to remove her from a store for throwing a tantrum. Several times I remember carrying out of a store while she screamed, "Ow! Ow! Ow! You're HURTING me. You're HURTING me."

Aww that's adorable!

When my 2 sons were little they wanted to be garbagemen because they thought they only worked one day a week.

I wanted to be a garbageman when I was a kid. Broke my mother's heart.

Tell mom it could've been alot worse. You could've wanted to be a proctologist. hah

As much as I love asses, I'd rather freelance and pick my own ass projects.

haha, agreed!

today i came home from work obviously in a bad mood and tired so i just laid down on the couch and turned on spongebob ready to pass out so then the other one came over and gave me a back massage all on his own and it was fucking fabulous.