there's a place in my heart for you
 

if you're not too much of a hypocrite, of course.

this is where i offer my ruthless advice, on anything, if you can take it.
you will probably find that my advice can be pretty good if the problem is real.

i even tried to advise myself not to start this thread (and i was obviously right) but i'm too stubborn.

and this is because i don't feel like doing any work today.

should I quit and switch jobs?
the one I do now is well paid plus I've got a company car, company phone and company laptop for personal purposes as well, but the workload and stress is killing me.
an important note: I'm starting paying mortgage this month.

well, you know what you can do is start working on getting another job.
and when you do, you will catch them by surprise.
it doesn't have to be as fancy as that, but please pay the mortgage.

yes. new apartment is a new apartment and that's the highest priority at the moment.
I'm having a whiny moment now, but you know, the employment crisis and all that ...

but be very smart with trying to find another job, do not let them ever suspect!

A friend of mine withheld information and lied on his CV to get a job as an air steward for easyJet. He clearly didn't read the paragraph in the declaration section of the online application form, which reads:

I declare that the information contained in this form is true and complete, that I have completed it myself and that I have not withheld any information that may affect my suitability for employment with easyJet. I understand that if it is subsequently discovered that any statement is false or misleading or that any information has been withheld, I may be dismissed from employment by easyJet.

My friend suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. So you can see why he withheld that from easyJet for fear of not getting a job. I just hope there isn't a doctor on a flight he's working on who'll recognise the signs. He's also dyslexic. He's got away with it for four weeks so far.

I want to send an angry e-mail to a cunt. Doing so is probably a bad idea, professionally and personally. But it would make me laugh. Ought I?

Before I started reading this thread I saw that Glice was the last person to post in it. When I opened the thread and started reading I thought "Glice has turned into a boring cunt".

Then I realised that in the meantime somebody else had posted.

True story.

Why did you deny that you live in England? I like England.

yes, send the cunty email, it will only add to your cunt reputation, which is very welcome amongst the drunken boredoms of the academic world.

Im gonna start disclosing my ocd professionaly, surely it can only be a good thing.

what is england?
Also, i think it is safe to say kis never had a job. So my advice for you is, do not be yourself and dont tell them about dad.

knox should I eat something? It is 2 am. I am getting in practice for tomorrow's 4am fun.

knox, why don;t you smile in pictures? Is it because your lips are too perfect without smilin?

phoenix - sure, tea and crackers.

Rob - i just dont smile at all.

Knox, should I ask you for advice?

Should we reopen the Ask Pookie thread.

No.

Too much responsibility.

I forgot to put a question mark on that question. My literary career is over.

what is that supposed to mean? of course.

^ terrible advice

i don't want any goddamned advice-- i pay a professional for that!

i want horny, desperate love letters, panties in the mail, phone sex, webcam stripping and promises of sexual slavery -- otherwise, what's the point of being in someone's "heart"? unless we're talking blood relatives-- in which case, that's yucky.

--

ps: ha! :p

you can also pay a professional for that.

K thanks Knox. This one is a little time sensitive. Should I go lasertagging which I don't want to do unless I'm pretty drunk or should I stay at home for the while is empty for a little while and drink. Btw I kind of don't want to do that either.

you should stay home drunk.

evol what are you talking about laser tag is awesome. Go pew pew some eleven year olds!

knox i have a work mates leaving event tonight then volunteer work afterward. How many drinks am i allowed to have?

i don't know, with people from work i'd be very careful.

amerikangod:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cshuY...eature=related

sunbeams are at a premium high.

just made my day

I shouted at it. It still doesn't work. Could you tell it to cunt off? The prick.

I had 3 and part of someone elses. It was fineeee. My boss just gave me coffee when I turned up 10 mins late.

Then we all played scrabble.

i simply can't find a pair of pants that fits well, 34 is too small and 36 falls down. can't find any 35s. strangely the only pants i own that i can get in are 32 waist.

i've been wearing those 2 pairs of pants everyday for about 6 months

Dear knox,

How can I get fake tan off my leather seats in my car?

To whom it may concern:

What kind of pro-active strategy can I develop that would help me to navigate through people's landmine hang-ups?

Please deliver the answer in a self-addressed envelope with a $20 processing fee in check or money order.

phoenix - congratulations, it takes a lot of strenght to have 3,5 drinks.

wellcharge - you know all you have to do is get them adjusted.

kis - leather seats and fake tans are criminal in my world, so i can't help.

Ever thought of braces?

I knead a yob and I knead to get layd


Not necessarily in that order

Prostitution.

Killing two birds with one stone should be an innuendo for threesome.