Dumb Conspiracy Theories
 

In my history class today we were talking about 9/11 and this idiot kid starts talking about this doc called loose change (endorsed by charlie sheen) that says bush crashed the planes on purpose into the WTC so he would have an excuse to go war and could become a dictator. I had to hold back every urge not to smack the kid upside the head.It reminds me of dumbasses that say the moon landing never happened.

do any of your friends have any dumb conpiracy theories?

what are some of the weirdest ones out there? im interested to hear them now

conspiracy theories are impossible if you ask me. SOMEONE is bound to find out and then it wouldn't be so fucking arcane and sinsiter, now would it?
therefore they are all dumb.

Another Sept. 11th conspiracy theory said that the buildings didn't fall from the fire, but they were demolished from the inside by explosives planted by the government.

This was often spouted on the old board by none other than tesla69.

All are stupid.

JFK was killed by the CIA, though.

I like the one about the moon, you know, how its made out of cheese. MMM, moon.

some conspiracies are more plausible then reality.

I can't believe people still believe this sort of rubbish.It adds up to no more than an animated pub chat and not much else.Pathetic.

what i dont like is why there has to be a godamn conspiricy for everything.

That's a very american thing,i think.

No, it is a very Liberal American think to think.

i wish american's would fucking shut up about 9/11

obviously most of those theories are bollox.
but to say that all of them are bollox is the same as saying all of them are true.
also, the fact that our countries and our world are controlled by very untrustworthy people, does kind of make me suspicious of alot of things.
but i really get pissed off by the people who believe anything. those people who have a conspiracy theory for everything and give their whole life to complete shite.
its like being completely left wing or completely right wing.
there is a middle ground and its called COMMON SENSE.

Yeah but the reality of facts is one thing and conspiracy theories are another thing alltogether.And Christ,could dumb pacifists stop going on and on and on about how war is bad?Fine,war is bad and all that but man doesn't go to war because he's bad or good but simply to destroy potential or actual enemies on an economical scale.Like it or not!

yeah this guy i know always bangs on about the whole 9/11 thing as well and i'm the "ignorant cunt" who dismisses it as rubbish.. i go around "with blinkers on" just cuz i dont believe a big fat fuckin pile of shite...

"ooh shares in American Airlines went up on the 10th September"

"ooh America flew "the bin ladens" out of america on the 12th of September"

"ohh George Bush's neighbours dog gave birth to just under 3000 puppies on 9/11"



these people are 16, spend 800 hours on the internet a day and basically... have no life.

the whole Holocaust ...

That sounds like me but I think conspiracy theories are entirely made of horse shit.

REP

The whole JFK thing does stink abit. Other than that conspiracy theories are just shit. Cobain was murdered y'know.

there have been many many instances in the past where "conspiracy theories" have been proven TRUE once years pass and once-sensitive information is released to the press or public.
the united states and every other governing body of the world, engages in covert, secret, unconstitutional endeavors for whatever reasons, and this feeds the paranoia. the "conspiracy theory" that bush and his people went to war in iraq becaue iof a personal agenda and not because of weapons of mass destruction or because of hussein ties to al quaeda (which was tossed around 3 years ago) is and was entirely TRUE.

do not discount the conspirace thorists. sometimes they are right.

Just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you.

the far fetched outlandish conspiracies are easier to dismiss, such as the faked holocaust and the faked moon landing, involve so many thousands and thousands of people that would ahve to "keep a secret" that they are easy to dismiss.

however, people had theories about a conspiracy for government and business to price fix the electric utilities in california and a few years later that was all proven TRUE, and the multi billion dollar enron scandal erupted from that.

the conspiracy theory that big auto manufacturers purposefully destropyed the idea of an electric car to continue making money off of fossil fuels and internal combuistion engines was ridiculed for twenty years, but it WAS TRUE


treat everything with an open mind. do not make a judgement until you have checked the pertinent info, and if there is no pertinent info, reserve judgement until you can get some, either proving or disproving.

If they were actual 'conspiracy theorists' they would'nt be telling anything reliably true to start with.There seems to be a problem with the obvious definitions of things there.

Agreed. I couldn't have said it better.

That's a lot of bollocks in this time and age.

not at all porkmarrass. in this day and age it is the way of the world. information is key. informaion is power. those who have power control the information,a dn that is what feeds the "conspiracy" theories.

why else would the soveriegn leader of a nation like the UK bend over and suck the twisted alcoholic anus of our preznit dubya?

and why does th USA give a flying fuck what the country whose rule we overthrew thinks and does? a country with minimal monetary, olitical, and military power compared to europe?

just questions I have.

me too Hayden, i spend way too much online, but like me, you have the cop on to realise the Horse Shittius Maximus of these theories.

didn't you ever stop to believe that the SOMEONE to who you are speaking of could be one of those wild conspiracy theorists? Sometimes the raving lunatics are the most intellegent and clear-headed people in our society. Sometimes they are the only ones who are not vulnerable to the mass media propaganda spin doctors. Sometimes they are just lunatics, but you should never through out a good idea just because it didn't come from some sort of "legitimate" source, because there is just simply no such thing as a legitimate source for any piece of information. All info is biased, and so listen to EVERYTHING that you hear and take good fucking notes, because truth is found everywhere.

the moral of the story is to keep the skeptical eye aimed not towards to conspiracy theorists, but towards the legitimate information sources such as the universities, the public schools, the politicians, the establishment etc. they are the ones who are trying to hide even the most petty of facts from the common man. the conspiracy theorists, they are honest and open as can be.

funny you should mention that. When being interviewed for the movie Last Days Kim Gordon said she thinks he was murdered.

Apparently the Crocodile Hunter is alive with Tupac and Elvis.

once again cheeto rules the board. or rob i mean. damn. it's hard not to think of cheeto as cheeto. but anyway, great post.

you can see the movie yourself at http://www.loosechange911.com/
I don't buy it completely, but some of the things they say really make sense. Like why did that other building crash down, two blocks further down the street?

The Kurt Cobain theory is a bunch of shit, just like the JFK one as well, Kurt was too fucked up to care about his life or his daughter. And JFK was murdered by one person not the CIA or Goverment.So stop spreading or believing in this theory.

Some conspiracy theories previously thought of as nonsense have now passed into the realm of historical fact, so its wise to consider a theory as potentially plausible if its execution would be of benefit to someone in power and it doesn't involve too many ex-LSD monsters talking about 'them' being interplanetary lizards in disguise.

Most theories are nonsense, of course, no question, which is a shame; the mass of bad theories help to hide the ones that may (note 'may') be grounded in fact.

It's undeniable that governments, security forces and other powerful bodies the world over act improperly, whether it's individuals, departments or whole organisations. It's also undeniable that illegal or improper behaviour is subject to denial by the perpetrators.



That sort of reminded me of this gem from the net many years ago (fortunately, it's still there):

Top Ten Ways To Post Like A Conspiracy Lunatic

10. Have no sense of humor, irony or whimsy.

9. The fact that an "official" investigation shows there was no conspiracy is not evidence that the conspiracy does not exist; rather, it is evidence that the conspiracy does exist. Otherwise, why would they deny it?

8. Use "quotation" marks, *highlighting*, CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation points!!!! indiscriminately.

Example: All the "official" photographs of the Roswell "debris" are clearly photographs of weather balloon material, *proving* CONCLUSIVELY that the "government" *removed* the REAL remains and substituted the balloon parts in a vain attempt at a COVERUP!!!!!!!

7. Follow up every non-sequitor with "COINCIDENCE?"

Example: NASA, the same organization that says the face on Mars is *not* a sign of intelligent life, also used Tang on its early missions. Tang is a product of General Foods, which owns the candy bar manufacturer Mars, Inc. COINCIDENCE?

6. The most tenuous of connections between a person who debunks your theory and the alleged conspirators is cause to disregard the debunker.

Example: Dr. Levin P. Stacy of Michigan State University, a "journalism" professor, argues that the Roswell "phenomena" is merely an example of millinerian "hysteria," and that no coverup exists. However, STACY WORKS AT A PUBLICLY FUNDED UNIVERSITY, WHICH RELIES HEAVILY ON GOVERNMENT GRANTS!!!!

5. Insert examples of how your personal life has been wrecked because the conspirators know you are on to them. If your significant other has left you, it's not because of the tinfoil hat you've taken to wearing, it's because "they" got to him or her.

4. Always put commonly accepted descriptions in quotation marks. Examples: "British" Royal Family, press "commentator," "progressive" thinker. Also, make sure you never report anyone as "saying" anything, they always "claim" it.

3. Insist that the experts know nothing, and that all you need is the Bible, the Constitution, Black's Law Dictionary and a handgun to prove your point.

2. Make it up as you go along.

And the Number One Way to Post Like a Conspiracy Lunatic:

1. You're not cleared for that.

oh man you didn't write that but i must still give you props for the hilarious and brilliant post. brilliant!

this one in particular cracked me up:

ha ha ha ha.

Cheers. It's been along time since I've read it, but it's lost none of its charm.

From the same site:

ILLUMINATI
To the tune of "Eleanor Rigby"


Illuminati...
They put a thing made of tinfoil on top of my door...
What is it for?
Illuminati...
Shooting a ray at my cornflakes to make them turn green...
What does it mean?
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

Illuminati...
Doing unspeakable things in the night to a cow...
Where are they now?
Illuminati...
Sent an impostor in place of the Popsicle man...
What is their plan?
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

Illuminati...
They cancelled Star Trek, The Fonz, and My Mother, the Car...
Are they bizarre?
You can't escape them;
Even if you take a plane to Nepal or Peru...
They'll be there, too...
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

I know that they know all about me...
They know that I know all about them...

Illuminati...
Hide their assassins' instructions in newspaper text...
Who will be next?
They're all around us...
Underline every third word in the Times and you'll see...
How can it be?
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

They're in the attic and the cellar...
Bigger than Hunt or Rockefeller...

Illuminati...
Go through my garbage and count all the pop bottles there...
Why do they care?
They're out to get me...
They're fluoridating my water from their UFO...
What do they know?
The Illuminati... They're everywhere, I see.
The Illuminati... And no one knows but me.

i was shutting down my machine & i saw that song & started singing it in my head and i laughed so hard i choked. i do have to go now but thanks for the laughs, that song is the greatest ever--

The illuminati is a weird theory, "They" whoever "they" are will take over the world and make it a one nation world, Best theory ever.

it's not so unrealistic to think the government was behind 9/11.

http://www.zeropaid.com/bbs/archive/...p/t-15972.html
Even though I wanna believe it sooo bad..

http://www.jokaroo.com/extremevideos/tupac-alive.html
..?..

fnord

i never understood why people made him out to be such a fucking god. i'm not discounting him because i do like nirvana and he was a talented guy, but big deal.

oh, not to mention that they found a fucking body with the head blown off.