Crazy Lady
 

I was sitting in a chair, on my drive way, supervising the activities of my six year old sister (Carsyn), reading The Metamorphosis, when all of a sudden I see this old lady walking towards me. She had the crazy eye, and was wearing some strange bathing suit dress thing with some sort of sandwhich in hand. First she asked me if I was Carsyn's mother. After I told her that I was not her mother, she asked me if I was her sister. When I told her that I was her BROTHER, she apologized and said she didn't have her glasses. She proceeded to accomplish what she originally intended to do: give away some of her sandwhich. She explained that she had made it for the firefighters out in Banning, but alas, they didn't come to get it from her. Now stuck in a predicament, she attempted to give me some. What kind of sandwhich it was, I could not tell you. It looked like uncooked meatloaf between two slices of bread. I was trying to be polite, and took the sandwhich, hoping that she would leave. She asked me to taste it, at which point I gave it back to her, and said "Someone else would appreciate it more". Then she mumbled about me not liking it, and shuffled away to the next house. Scariest shit ever.

What frightened me was that this person wasn't a homeless crazy person. She is the grandmother of a kid in the neighborhood that lives a couple houses down.

scary.

i was walking around my neighborhood tonight. there's been a drastic increase in the number of deer walking down from the mountains into the suburbs in my town, so people have been hitting them a bunch. tonight i was making a concious effort to not look down at my feet when i walk, to hold my head up and not slouch. it was dark out, so i almost walked into a rotting carcass of some poor doe. scariest shit ever.

sounds like dementure or something like that. it will happen to us all and i for one am looking forward to it.

There's this old lady in my street that always asks me the same questions...: "Ow you have a new kitty! what's her name? How is yr brother doing in the sixth grade?"

We have that cat for several years now and my brother is no longer in the sixth grade anymore...

crazy bitch,
push her to the ground and watch her try and get up again, its a bit like when you turn a turtle on its back.

yeah kick her ass

go with this idea.

You know that moment when it suddenly dawns on you that the person you're talking to is absolutely bat-shit insane? Priceless.

Hahaha, that is terribly delightful.

i once talked to this old lady on the train. she was talking about visiting her son in the hospital. i didn't realise she wasn't ok until she told me he got hurt in a german bombing..

At a nursing home once, a rand lady grabbed my arm looked me in the eye and said "oohh you're nice" and started petting my arm.

Creeped the fuck out of me.

That is fucking great.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Thanks for the interesting read.

The term "crazy lady" definitely applies here.

Like jon boy remarked, she is probably only just senile or something. Did you see her eat any of the sandwich? I suppose it still could have been tainted or even poisoned, but it's doubtful...still weird though. The incident sort of reminds me of the kid on the Andy Griffith show that is always trying to give away some of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You know, the whole thing about really elderly people and small children behaving similarly.

Oddly enough, I was mistaken for a woman today too. I was thinking about writing about it, but then figured that I really didn't have a reason to relate the story. I was in the self-checkout at the grocery store and the machine was giving me trouble scanning items. It was packed and the attendant was busy, but my machine kept having problems. The cashier/attendant addressed me as "ma'am" until she scrutizined me more closely and then she apologized. It was a bit amusing watching her eyes screw up a little. My hair is long right now, but not as long as I've had it in the past and usually wear it. It's like Thurston's when he really grows it out, which, to me is short haha, but anyway, that was the first time in awhile I've been referred to as female. Thing is, there's this guy that works at the bank in the grocery story and he has long hair. And when I went into the store, I passed an employee with very long stringy hair and I thought to myself, "damn, times have changed," because ten years ago no one would hire you to work in a grocery store, let alone a bank, if you were a male with hair that long.

But, more importantly, great choice of reading material. I love that novella and have read it many times.

I worked briefly at a nursing home as a certified nursing assistant. It's the toughest job I've ever had. Not physically the toughest, mind you, but it wasn't for me. Those people don't get paid enough at all. One of the registered nurses saw me with my hair down one day and she said, "ooh, sexy sex," as she passed me in the hall. An old lady resident there used to say I was a "beautiful angel" or just "angel" and she was always touchy-feely.

sorry about that, didn't mean to scare you.

My friend is back, oh no it is just cantanky. Nevermind.

Anyways how are you Cantankerous?

i'm just happy as a motherfucking clam, how are you?

Good, just finished studying for a midterm, thinking of going to sleep.

i think you'd really benefit from some sleep.

Yeah, I'll leave at ten my time.