Share Your Favorite Recipes Here
 

Inspired by Bytor Peltor, who shared a recipe for a crockpot chicken. I'm not very domesticated, so I don't have much cooking experience, but I love to experiment. So, post some of your favorite recipes here so I can be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen where I belong.

I'll go first. This dish is VERY rich - it's very much a comfort food. Supposedly this is a family recipe, but that's probably a lie.

Chicken Devon

You will need:

4 medium chicken breasts
1 8-oz. package of cream cheese
4 cans cream of chicken soup
1 packet of Good Seasons Italian dressing mix, dry
4 tablespoons white cooking wine
2 teaspoons butter
1 pkg wide egg noodles or rice

Cut up the chicken breasts into chunks and brown in the butter. Coat with the Italian dressing mix.

Mix together all the other shit, then add the browned & coated chicken. Bake at 350 degrees F for one hour. Serve over boiled noodles or rice.

Sometimes...I wish I knew how to cook.

There was a recipe thread a while ago on here.

That's all.

Chicken shawarma:

The filling:

Marinade 2 diced chicken breasts in 4 heaped tbsp yoghurt, 1/2 tsp turmeric, pinch of salt, 1 tsp pepper, 1 tsp cumin, 2 cloves crushed garlic. Preferably overnight or for at least 4 hours.

Fry on yr griddle.

For the lafah bread:

1 sachet dried yeast, 450g bread flour, 1 tbsp sugar, 1/2 tbsp salt, 350ml hand hot water, 2 tbsp olive oil. Mix together, knead for 10 minutes, rest for 1 hour, punch down, divide into 6-8 pieces. Roll out as flat as you can and fry on yr griddle in OLIVE OIL for the tastiest flatbread.

Wrap your chicken with any salad you want, mayo, mint yoghurt, sumaq or whatever floats your boat, in the flatbread and eat it.

Watergate Cake

cake
1 box of white cake mix
1 box of some instant pistachio pudding
3 eggs
1 cup club soda
3/4 cup cooking oil

preheat oven to 350 and mix ingredients with an electric mixer for about two minutes. pour into a fucking greased and flowered 9 x 13" pan. bake for 45-50 minutes (check at about 40 minutes --- I keep skewers around for checking done-ness).

cool that shit down on a rack.


my mother's recipe speaks of "Froastiing" which requires:

1 more box of puddin' (pistachio, of course)
1 envelope of Dream Whip
1 1/4 cups milk

"froast cooled cake"

fuck that shit. if wal*mart's out of Dream Whip, you can use a tub of Cool Whip (found in your frozen foods isle) and fold it into the pudding.

go on a "froast" it now, if you'd like, Tricky Dick.

garnish with pistachio slivers.

it's summertime in the northern hemisphere people. don't you know any cold dishes? THE OVEN IS OFF UNTIL SEPTEMBER, for fuck's sakes.


i've seen a pic of this delicious "chickn'n'poo" and i really wanna try it. just 1 hour for the yeast to rise though? is it the quick rise type? does it rise in a really warm place? or is it the quantity of yeast that does it?


flirty!

Hillbilly Motherfucker

1 can of spaghetti-o's
2 pc. white bread
sum' yeller mustard
poss'm/sqirl/big ol rat

mix 'em gud. baek. et em.

and on with the "baek." can't this shit be grilled outdoors, to match the theme of the recipe itself? preferrably on burning tires?

thar's a burn-ban in texas, son. dunno 'bout jawja but figer is purdy drah thar to. I reckon.

what kind of no-balls hillbilly refuses to defy the guv'mint? pffffftt!


i spaced out for a while on the daydream of being breastfed by girlgun. mmm-mmm-mmm! however...




good night.

be my guest! :)

What's teh recipe for this?

My goodness, this thread has become rancorous! Leave it to a HILLBILLY MOTHERFUCKER.

You asked for it by starting a recipe thread.

Nothing really compares to a *home made* Kwanzaa Cake. Can't just do this once a year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrQbWeNQpiA

Here's one for the guys. Preferably post-coital. Naturally.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_Novvwzpto

I've used dried active yeast, fast action yeast, and my own home-made yeast and none take longer than an hour to rise. And I just leave it on the kitchen side which I suppose is kitchen warm.

Please DO NOT share your recipe for homemade yeast.

Gack'*

Clinton only eats tubesteaks.

PRICELESS. i'm re-watching, can't stop laughing.


mmm-mmmm-mmm! delicious, but it loses a couple of points when you realize she's consciously whoring it up for the audience. ah... actresses!


thanks man! will try it this evening.

ps- CLONE! see the alt-take: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDBntbxAXAY

just came back to say TASTY BREAD

the dough was pretty wet and rose fast (it's the moisture plus the sugar i think) and it was very soft and sticky (kinda like a no-knead bread) so i had to use a lot of extra flour to roll. but mang! it made some great bread.

ate it with black olives. finished the last couple with almond butter and honey and cinnamon.

!@#$%!:

Thank You.

notes on spookie's bread:

first i tried the original recipe and it was a bit too sticky as i said before

so on 2nd try i figured 450g is 1lb and that's funny for the metric system; so i upped the flour to 500g instead.

it worked GREAT.

i also upped the olive oil to 3 teaspoons instead of 2. why, you asked? because when i tried to fry in olive oil i got a bunch of oil-soaked bread. so i decided to cook it dry on my electric griddle instead, and it worked beautifully.

give that mix a shot one of these days

it was pretty and i took photos, but i can't be bothered to go look for them right now.

anyway, give that mix a shot one of these days.

notes on pookie's chicken'n'poo:

tried it yesterday. it was good! perhaps a bit too heavy on the cumin, i'll try halving the amount for the next try, as it tends to overpower the other flavors with its peculiar stench of armpit. but anyway, yummy.

one problem i encountered frying this dish was that i had to divide it in 2 batches, as my frying pan couldn't hold everything at once. and for the 2nd batch the creamy yogurt/spice/goo mix had already toasted. so i had to wash the pan, refire, fry batch #2 on its own. i used refined coconut oil for high heat.

somehow it think this would be fucking fantastic on a grill, maybe on a broiler, and by this i mean, direct oven fire from above at close distance.

the other notion i had was to fry it all up at once in a large pot, then let it simmer briefly in its juices, slightly more stew-like, though quick (it cooks quick). might get soggy though, meh, but would go well over something like rice, for example.

anyway, very tasty all-around. since i was fed up from too much bread and pasta from the previous week i ate it wrapped in lettuce leaves and it was awesome. i made no sauce for it either. maybe that would balance out the cumin.

THANKS DUDE

Glad you liked it. Whenever I make bread (or most other things) I rarely use exact amounts and with bread I usually start with the smaller amount of flour and then add more as I'm kneading. So I probably end up with 500g in the end.

Glad you liked it!

I fry in two batches. The second batch is always nicer because of the yoghurt mixture left in the pan.

I like the idea of using lettuce leaves. And yes, a bit of mint yoghurt does help cut through the cumin. But then again I love the taste of cumin.

Pookie, awesome recipe idea, but please remember that I am less than a novice at cooking.

Dumb it down, goddammit.

make the same chix marinade & cook it in the oven for 20 minutes at 350 so you don't have to deal with hot oil.

eat w/ store bought pitas, or rice (buy a rice cooker).

BAM!!, as that obnoxious dude says.

Wow. BRILLIANT.

Thanks! To you AND Pookie!

I just wanted to take a quick moment to point out that I have made a conscious effort not to try to ruin or derail this thread, because I think truncy's keen.

just sayin

i see. starting with 500g flour is still too wet to comfortably knead by hand (sticky) so i knead with a wooden spoon inside a bowl, as a sort of human food processor. am i doing it wrong? the bread looks nice though. maybe a bit heavy/dense but good texture to pile on juicy foods.


i use a cast iron pan and the mixture was carbonized by the time i finished the first batch. so i had to clean it or it would have tasted like ashes. i gotta find a way to caramelize the thing without burning it. i'll try a bigger pan or something.



if you really wanna learn to cook, a nice alternative for you would be to learn to make chapatis. it's the dumbest of all flatbreads to make-- no yeast, no rising, nothing

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/indian-chapati-bread/

you can use a different oil instead of olive (olives aren't indian)

see how that works out

It is quite a heavy bread which is why I roll it very thin before frying.

And as for the stickiness. Even though I said knead for ten minutes (this is the accepted method in bread making) I never do. I use the light knead method.

First you combine all your ingredients together in a bowl using a wooden spoon. Cover and leave for 10 minutes.
Turn out onto your work-surface and knead for 10 seconds.
Cover and leave for 10 minutes.
Repeat the light kneading twice more at 10 minute intervals.

Then leave to rise!

The main reason I use this method (much more common in Europe) is because I can't be arsed to knead for 10 minutes. AND it works really well. AND you don't have to negotiate a sticky mixture at the beginning.

Although to be honest it shouldn't be that sticky. Maybe use less water and add a bit more if necessary.

i use a whisk to mix the dry stuff first, so i don't have to depend on the kneading for it.

then i use a whisk to briefly emulsify the oil in the hot water, this ensures an even ditribution of the oil in the dough.

then i pour the liquid into a pit of flour and whisk the liquid, similar to the way you'd make pasta (how one whisks the egg with a fork).

when it gets thick i toss out the whisk and incorporate the rest w/ a wooden spoon and keep stirring. i knead while watching some stupid video or something (the bowl is portable, no mess).

didn't know about the light-knead method. will try next time to see what happens.

speaking of which, if you like making bread, the no-knead method fucking rules! it's just too hot to bake bread right now but just google the recipe. or see here:

http://steamykitchen.com/168-no-knea...revisited.html

(when that kid grows up he's going to hate his mom for posting those pictures. yess he will. anyway, you can now employ your children as well for kitchen labor.)

Yes I was aware of the no knead method but I'd rather knead for 10 minutes than wait a whole day for it to rise. You also don't need warmth for bread to rise. You could put your mixture in the fridge overnight and it would still rise perfectly well.

And also (referring to the no knead link) any bread is so simple a four year old could make it. My kids love to help make bread and kneading is the funnest part for them.

Incidentally, it's never too hot here to make bread.

I read the response to Pookie's recipe first, and thought that !@#$%! was ironically claiming to have prepared and enjoyed something that Pookie might have casually said like "take two shits in a pan and cum on it" (the frequent mention of cumin powder added to this belief). But no, that recipe actually sounds delicious and I'm making it tomorrow night.

I just had the pleasure of a "what is Kwanzaa?" conversation and why honkies don't often celebrate it. I explained that it's because the white devil naturally attempts to suppress all that is unlike him, especially if they are brown. The savage white race is one of cloned sheep, taught nothing but to destroy.

Kwanzaa is only for the righteous.

ha ha, good for you-- american kids are fucking useless!

the no-knead is perfect for breakfast cuz it rises overnight. the warm thing-- i know about refrigerator breads, but warmth= speed, no?

anyway, i live in a small apartment and running the oven for nearly 2h at 450 while it's 40C outside would make life uncomfortable here.

which is why your flatbread is so fucking great for me this time of year-- all i need is a hot griddle for 15 minutes.

which reminds me, i gotta make some for lunch. thanks again!

--

ps - rolled some very thin and they turned beautiful & crispy, but i think i like the chewy ones better.

Penne with cherry tomatoes

okay, i ate this now. i am full and happy.

you need this:

- penne pasta
- cherry tomatoes (around one fistful for one serving)
- tomato paste
- basil (fresh)
- olive oil
- 2 little pieces of garlic
- cream

okay. as far as food and cooking goes, my English vocabulary is shit.

- but anyway, boil water and cook penne.
- in a separate pot, warm up the olive oil
- crush the garlic and fry it on olive oil a bit (3 minutes on strong fire)
- add cherry tomatoes cut in half and fry for about 5 minutes until they get soft
- add tomato paste and stir. do not boil the tomato paste, just warm it up
- add salt and pepper and basil leaves. don't cook the basil too long, it will get yucky
- add a bit of cream and stir
- add penne and stir together
- eat it

a good way is to put some fine cheese on top of it. I used a 1year old Gouda and it tasted like heaven.

okay slavo since you like pasta here's how to make it fresh




take 2/3 to 3/4 cups of flour (depending on the flour), put them on your board, make a mound with a hole in it. take one extra large egg and drop it in the middle of the hole. add 1/4 tsp olive oil.

now with a fork poke the egg yolk and gently whip the egg inside the flour mound and start to incorporate the rest of the flour. once it's got consistency start to knead




knead for about 5, 10 minutes gently. warm hands help this.

then make a ball, wrap it in plastic and let it sit there for 20-30 minutes. go make your sauce or something.

come back then at the gluten will have relaxed so it's easy to roll. don't start kneading again or you'l make it tough,




then cut it with a knife, though some people have special pasta machines you don't need one.




depending on how thin you rolled it it cooks in 2-3 minutes. it's really simple.

if you look for recipes they will all feature lots of flour and many eggs like the fuckin photos above, but you can just go with the proportions i mentioned and use a multiplier. it's lots easier to handle a small recipe and experiment with it.

now if you like penne you can make garganelli. i don't because i'm lazy and impatient. but maybe you can.



a note on the flour: the preferred flour for pasta is the 00 type which is very fine and powdery. unfortunately here in the US it's an import and it costs like 10 times more than regular all-purpose flour. however all-purpose flour is perfectly fine and most people won't even know the difference.

in my experience it takes 3/4 cups of all-purpose flour for a jumbo egg instead of 2/3 with 00. but you figure it out with your own ingredients.

this also depends on the size of the eggs. if your dough too dry you won't be able to knead and roll, if it's too wet it will be a sticky mess. but it's a lot easier to add a little flour to a wet dough than it is to add egg to a dry dough (don't). if it's too dry just wet your hands and work the moisture into the dough.

what you don't want is bread flour: that makes it tougher and harder to roll and more elastic so it bounces back when you roll it flat.

00 or all purpose.