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-   -   My computer is a cunt (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=9643)

porkmarras 01.07.2007 11:33 AM

My computer is a cunt
 
It started behaving funnily again and it wont do what i ask(not tell him,mind)it to do whenever i want it to do it.There's not talking to it and it told me to go impale myself.Cunt!

HaydenAsche 01.07.2007 11:35 AM

It won't even fuck off?

Usually, that's all my shitty computer will do.

porkmarras 01.07.2007 11:38 AM

There's no reasoning with it.I've scanned the twat but i can still see a smirk on its screen whenever i'm attempting to check the mature sex websites.Cheeky sod!

HaydenAsche 01.07.2007 11:40 AM

What a smartass computer. I'd come to the UK and fuck it up but I'm far too hungover. Maybe later.

cuetzpalin 01.07.2007 11:43 AM

 

krastian 01.09.2007 12:47 AM

So is mine......fucker.

SynthethicalY 01.09.2007 01:10 AM

Ah get a better one porky.

!@#$%! 01.09.2007 01:26 AM

you need a COCK computer porkie. you'll be much happier. as for yours, you can sell it on ebay-- internet porn box w/ integrated cunt makes jerking off a lot easier.

jon boy 01.09.2007 05:01 AM

is your computer being stupid because you have not got an original version of windows? thats what mine has been doing. is there a way of getting round this without forking out for it?

Tokolosh 01.09.2007 05:10 AM

 

No wonder it's behaving funny!

porkmarras 01.09.2007 05:12 AM

Is that the Peticot 500?

Tokolosh 01.09.2007 05:16 AM

Yes. I've had it for a year and it still hasn't crashed.

porkmarras 01.09.2007 05:18 AM

If it's the original one created by Patricia(no surname),it has also a body spray on the side.

porkmarras 01.09.2007 05:20 AM

Tokolosh,get the second series of 'Look Around You' and you'll see what i'm talking about.I've been re-watching it loads of late.Avoid the first one as it is ok but not that funny.

jon boy 01.09.2007 05:21 AM

i'm rapping i'm rapping i'm rapidy rapping.

porkmarras 01.09.2007 05:23 AM

Look Around You: Computers

 
 
 
When most of us think of Bournemouth we think of the quaint seaside town, famous for tourism and battery acid manufacturing.
Pictured right (inset) is another Bournemouth. This one is the most powerful computer ever built in Britain. Above is Bournemouth's chief programmer, Computer Jones.
Bournemouth is so powerful he perceives ordinary people to be morons. He is able to solve thousands of complex theoretical problems in the time it would take us to eat a slice of Antmas Eve pie.
By the year 1990 there could be as many as 10,000 computers in britain.
Experts like Computer Jones will eventually become irrelevant as, by then, computers will be able to program themselves, clean their own laser ribbons and will even be able to help us organise trade union ballots.
More from Computers

 
PLAY DIARRHEA DAN: You can now play this popular toilet-based computer game. Diarrhea Dan must race against the clock to get into every cubicle and win vital loo paper by answering the toilet-related questions.


porkmarras 01.09.2007 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jon boy
i'm rapping i'm rapping i'm rapidy rapping.

I'm rapping all day,i'm rapping all night.I'm rapping..........rapping.........ra-ra-rapping!

Tokolosh 01.09.2007 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porkmarras
Tokolosh,get the second series of 'Look Around You' and you'll see what i'm talking about.I've been re-watching it loads of late.Avoid the first one as it is ok but not that funny.


Haven't seen it yet, but it looks funny. There must be some of it on Youtube?

jon boy 01.09.2007 05:31 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryAAWJOujoI

hope that link works.

Tokolosh 01.09.2007 05:40 AM

Oh yeah! I remember seeing the Sulphur one.

porkmarras 01.09.2007 05:42 AM

That's from the first series though.

cuetzpalin 01.09.2007 05:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jon boy


jesus what the fuck is that?? :D

edit: that's some american contest or something?

jon boy 01.09.2007 05:48 AM

its a comedy show parodying the 70's and 80's british nformation/future shows.

cuetzpalin 01.09.2007 05:49 AM

ok i was already scared that americans are really that stupid. sorry:)

porkmarras 01.09.2007 05:49 AM

Jonboy,did you ever watch the whole series?The girl who's the second contestant is fucking hilarious!

jon boy 01.09.2007 05:51 AM

i never saw it i was in berlin but i wish i had. i still havnt seen the second series of nighty night! blasphemy i know in your book.

porkmarras 01.09.2007 06:01 AM

The second series of Nighty Night is certainly not as good as the first one.It goes for a more grotesque approach but in no way it is as sharp or funny as the first one.I'll have to get around you to burn it for you and whoever wants it at one point.Whenever i'll remember i'll also send you our Julia as Fanny Cradock because she's superb in that role.A cross between a drag queen,the queen mother and,well,Fanny Cradock!

jon boy 01.09.2007 06:04 AM

did you see her in that recent thing with colin firth porkmarras?

(let me know if you still want the ashtray navigations stuff)

porkmarras 01.09.2007 06:22 AM

Born Equal?No,i haven't seen her in that.She was also on the xmas special of Little Britain playing a mail order russian bride.If it wasn't for the fact that both her and Steve Coogan were on it,i wouldn't have watched it as i think it's mostly garbage.Ashtray Navigations!Yes please!

jon boy 01.09.2007 08:35 AM

pm me your address and i will send you a cd. or i may take a trip to the big smoke soonish and can give them to you if i see you.

porkmarras 01.09.2007 08:58 AM

I'll pm address,thanks.In the meantime.....
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tLYru0_OSu0
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NBDgZins9...elated&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=awx14DqYd...elated&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=P6Q5SeN8C...elated&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QI5yZNBAN...elated&search=

HaydenAsche 01.09.2007 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porkmarras
Tokolosh,get the second series of 'Look Around You' and you'll see what i'm talking about.I've been re-watching it loads of late.Avoid the first one as it is ok but not that funny.


I fucking LOVE Look Around You.


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