Favorite Film Comedy Lines
 

Mine is still the part of Raising Arizona where one of the the robbers asks the old man behind the counter..."Do these balloons blow up into funny shapes?" and the old man replies..."Not unless you think round is funny"...LMFAO!!! The Cohen Bros. rule.

SPENGLER
I think he's saying that since we're about
to be sacrificed anyway, we get to choose
the form we want him to take.

STANTZ
You mean if I stand here and concentrate on
the image of Roberto Clemente, Gozer will
appear as Roberto Clemente and wipe us out?

SPENGLER
That appears to be the case.

VENKMAN
(quickly)
Don't think of anything yet. Clear your
minds. We only get one crack at this.

GOZER
The choice is made. The Traveller has come.

VENKMAN
(in a panic)
We didn't choose anything!
(to the others)
I didn't think of an image, did you?

SPENGLER
No.

They look at Winston.

WINSTON
My mind's a total void!

They all look at Stantz.

STANTZ
(guilty)
I couldn't help it! It just popped in
there!

VENKMAN
(desperately)
What? What popped in there?

STANTZ
(pointing)
Look!

VENKMAN
(desperately)
What is it? Ray, what did you think of?

STANTZ
(babbling)
It can't be! It can't be!

STANTZ
It's ... It's ... It's the STAY-PUFT
MARSHMALLOW MAN.

From the Marx Brothers - Duck Soup

Rufus T. Firefly: You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you're out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in be in here thinking what a sucker you are.

"We have to get this man to a hospital"..."What is it?"... "A big white building with doctors and patients, but's that not important now."

From the same film

"You can't fight in here, this is the War room"

"Not my Brain! That's my second favorite organ!"

faergoh
 

MARGE
Where you girls from?

HOOKER ONE
Chaska.

HOOKER TWO
LeSeure. But I went to high school
in White Bear Lake. Go Bears...

MARGE
Okay, I want you to tell me what
these fellas looked like.

HOOKER ONE
Well, the little guy, he was
kinda funny-looking.

MARGE
In what way?

HOOKER ONE
I dunno. Just funny-looking.

MARGE
Can you be any more specific?

HOOKER ONE
I couldn't really say. He wasn't
circumcised.

MARGE
Was he funny-looking apart from
that?

HOOKER ONE
Yah.

MARGE
So you were having sex with the
little fella, then?

HOOKER ONE
Uh-huh.

MARGE
Is there anything else you can
tell me about him?

HOOKER ONE
No. Like I say, he was funny-looking.
More'n most people even.

MARGE
And what about the other fella?

HOOKER TWO
He was a little older. Looked like
the Marlboro man.

MARGE
Yah?

HOOKER TWO
Yah. Maybe I'm sayin' that cause
he smoked Marlboros.

MARGE
Uh-huh.

HOOKER TWO
A subconscious-type thing.

MARGE
Yah, that can happen.

HOOKER TWO
Yah.

HOOKER ONE
They said they were goin' to the
Twin Cities?

MARGE
Oh, yah?

HOOKER TWO
Yah.

HOOKER ONE
Yah. Is that useful to ya?

MARGE
Oh, you bet, yah.

Kumar: So how were Jessica Alba's tits?
Rosenberg: You know about the Holocaust?
Kumar: Yeah...
Rosenberg: Picture the exact opposite of that.

Suber bad

Girl: you scratch our backs and we'll scratch yours.
guy: well lucky for you, my back is on my penis.

japanese japanese japanese japaneese japanese

he wants more intensity

thats all he said?

"Airplane" and "The Naked Gun" are probobly the most chocked full of classic one liners then just about any movie since The Marx Brothers.

Jimmy - Quadrophenia

I don't wanna be the same as everybody else. That's why I'm a Mod, see?

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THAT is Comedy!