How cool, calm, and collected are you?
 

In the face of adversity and stress. Imagine or remember your worst situation and how you would or did deal with it. How cool are you? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being coolest. If you are cool, what are your strategies or thoughts for keeping cool.

I'd like to think I am very cool, maybe an 8. But I only think this until something happens beyond my control and I feel helpless, and then I find myself losing it. Seriously. Becoming plain freaked-out sometimes.

Though I have to say I've had seriously challenging moments where I've also been very cool.

Ultimately I'd like to be more consistent about this, I guess. Consistently cool. Sounds like a reasonable goal, no?

Anyway, thoughts, bullshit?

I am usually calm when dealing with gross people. When they yell at me, I just laugh inside.

i'm at a 7 (+ or - 2) during the incident. 1 when i'm done and by myself.

Erm. Hot headed and high strung. I give myself a solid 4.

Depends what it is. Sometimes I freak out pretty hard, especially if it's some kind of plumbing emergency that requires immediate attention and causes immediate damage or something like that.
Other things are simply "so big" that I can go into a mode where I know I have to proceed with a certain set of steps to resolve the situation.
I'm not super-collected all the time, that's for sure.

Okay. Yeah, I can deal with "challenging" people well enough. It usually comes down to looking better because you stay calmer than they do.

But what about situations, circumstances, bad things, the theft of your novel in progress, the bank that screws you over, the boss who "lets you go." How do you deal with the bad stuff that comes up out of the blue and knocks you over?

I talk to my therapist.

I have to say I was better when I had a daily routine of Zen sitting practice. That hour of sitting and staring at a blank wall first thing in the morning does something to settle your nerves. It's like a sedative that lingers through the day.

I know more exercise would help. Or so they say.

I think people who have therapists are very fortunate.

Are you being sarcastic?

The only stuff that really gets under my skin is when something breaks and I don't know to fix it or can't afford the expenditure.

No, I'm serious. You have a confidante of sorts, and one who can recommend how to deal and so on.

The Rapist

Well my insurance pays for it. I am lucky I have insurance.

Yeah, I can see that. I get most pissed if that's the case with prized possessions--stereo, guitar, and the like.

I think I stay calm about the everyday irritants, like traffick, long lines, smelly people in elevators, office politics. What I don't deal well with yet are bureaucratic snafus--I hate the helpless feeling and my reaction is to get angry, to rage, and the worst thing is there's nothing to really rage at, no direct target. Just them "out there." It's times like that when I wonder if I shouldn't be on some kind of meds. I hate the feeling of being out-of-control angry at those big problems. I wish I were more able to accept whatever happens and just deal with it or even just ignore it--which I almost think would be healthier.

I'll pretend to be calm and then all of a sudden...

I know what you mean. Until I fix something I fret and fret and fret about it.

Does anybody have a role model for somebody who's cool like you'd like to be?

I used to admire certain Buddhist monks, and I still do. But I think I need more of a real-life model. Maybe even a fictional model.

I'd say an 8 or 9. My mom always says I should be a therapist or something because I'm able to get people to calm down/quit freaking out so that we can figure out what the hell we're going to do in a certain situation. I'm the one in my family that's always like, "All right, everybody just chill the fuck out out and quit screaming."